Mom101 Goes All Wanton On You

Everyone in NYC knows what it means when signs like this start appearing along your block.

Already scarce parking replaced by orange cones. Enormous wardrobe trailers blocking the sunlight. Craft service tables taunting you with cookies you can smell but not touch. PAs with unfortunate facial hair acting self-important while you try to maneuver a stroller over a tangle of industrial electrical cords. Maybe there's a decent enough star sighting, like Heather Locklear. Or Ted McGinley. Or, Hey That Guy From That Movie, You Know With That Other Guy About That Thing? (Man, he's in every movie!)

Film shoots around here are about 10% excitement 90% annoyance.

We're a jaded bunch.

But then, every so often, something compels you to actually read the sign and maybe check IMDB for info about the name of the production. In this case, something called "Burn After Reading."

Um, holy shit.

Coen Brothers. George Clooney. Brad Pitt. Frances McDormand. John Turturro. Tilda Swinton.

On my block.


And where am I?

Not on my block.

I am working.

George, please, hear me now: I'll be home by 6:30. And I just need one hour with you. Just one. I know you broke your rib this week. So I promise to be gentle. And you have a girlfriend. And she's hot and I'm kind of not these days. And we probably have nothing in common except that I want to have the sex with you and I sense that you like the sex.

So let's just make it a half hour.

Ten minutes?

Maybe I need Bossy to make a video for me.


Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

I'd go home early for George, I would go home earlier if it was the girls from sex & the city!

9/26/07, 2:38 PM  
Blogger Bliss said...

George is in Brooklyn!

This is what happens when I spend the day actually getting things done and away from the internets.

9/26/07, 2:38 PM  
Blogger BOSSY said...

Quiet on the set!

9/26/07, 2:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh how i miss those days .. seing will smith watching a game while he is supposed to do a scene for MIB2 .. and all those trailers and such ...

and the freedom of lusting after one of those stars ... i could never reveal that on my blog (hey lucy liu .. if you ever happen to shot a movie in Turin . see above)

hmm .. wantons ... now i also miss new yorkish chinese food ... will I ever find out how China Fun is able to deliver stuff in 3 minutes .. and it is actually cooked ?? can they read minds ???

9/26/07, 2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd still rather wake up and find a note saying that you were in my neck of the woods.

You're hot. You're kids are cute. And you've got big boobs.

My kinda girl.

How 'bout you bring George with you and come to my neck of the woods?

Screw it. Have George and then come see me. I'm not picky.

9/26/07, 3:01 PM  
Blogger Mahlers On Safari said...

Even a quickie blow job in a dark corner of your lobby would do in this case. Take a page from Bill and Monica.

9/26/07, 3:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh! I know! Invite him up to look at your nipple collection. How could he refuse?

9/26/07, 3:21 PM  
Blogger J said...


9/26/07, 3:36 PM  
Blogger b*babbler said...

Oh lucky lucky you... George? Brad? Be still my beating heart.

All we've had up here in T.O. lately is Paris Hilton, and we shan't go there.

9/26/07, 3:42 PM  
Blogger Mitzi Green said...

well, surely he can spare ten minutes for you. it's just good PR.

9/26/07, 3:43 PM  
Blogger anniemom said...

Hubby is out of town, so If George is otherwise inclined, I might settle for John Turturro at this point. Sigh. Not that there's anything wrong with John Turturro, but ya know...

George: I want to eat you up, baby.


John: I want to eat you up, baby.

Call the cops.

9/26/07, 3:53 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Two words. Sick day.

9/26/07, 3:58 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

10 minutes with George? Totally worth an entire days' pay.

9/26/07, 4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um, yeah. This is even better than when Queer as Folk filmed next door to me in Toronto.

9/26/07, 5:26 PM  
Blogger Motherhood Uncensored said...

And the only people loose on my block were four fugitives wanted for armed burglary.

Damn 'burbs.

9/26/07, 5:29 PM  
Blogger mommyneedsacocktail said...

Even a long, romantical exchange across a crowded street would be worth it. Or just a picture with your picture phone.

Okay, maybe the picture with the picture phone was too tacky.

But George? George. I mean, it's George.

9/26/07, 7:18 PM  
Blogger Gray Matter Matters said...

Ok, I triple dog dare you to fake your way on to the set. Carry a tray of lattes or tell them you're a massuese! But only to the stars. Give George a rub down...or a happy ending!!

9/26/07, 7:18 PM  
Blogger Phoenix said...

I'm with Gray, so now it's a double triple dog dare.

Good luck on even seeing him. I spent an entire vacation in Vegas looking for the man (while they were filming Oceans 11) and never saw him. Saw that bitch with the big lips and a few of the others, but never George or Brad or Matt.

9/26/07, 7:21 PM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

This is so DEFINITELY the time when you should be "working at home!" And I am sure Bossy would be more than glad to oblige!

9/26/07, 7:44 PM  
Blogger Julie Pippert said...

LOL...GL with George!

They just filmed a movie by my mom's house and we got to go. A sad film with Julia Roberts in it.

I'm so happy to see Tilda Swinton---my celebrity lookalike---kicking!

Using My Words

9/26/07, 7:53 PM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

If I left right now I could be at your place just after midnight. I'll camp out and wait for George and Brad. We'll go halfsies.

9/26/07, 8:43 PM  
Blogger josetteplank.com said...

Forget George...



I just saw a preview for another movie with Tilda and George. Hmmmmmm.

BTW, I can recommend the new Jodie Foster movie. NPR radio hosts with guns. I have dreams like that about Terri Gross.

9/26/07, 9:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, I am so bummed, you get George Clooney and all I get is a Go-Gurt commercial. Doesn't seem fair, does it?

9/26/07, 9:41 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

Do you know that a photo of George and I together exists in this world? Yes, I stood next to him when ER was debuting at a media event (he was tres short, but very, very flirty and very cute).

Unfortuantely, the only photos I got to keep were the ones with Anthony Edwards (taller, not as cute) and Martin Short (no comment).

9/26/07, 10:21 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Fairly Oddmother - I REMEMBER that photo. It was in Boston about 1993ish?

9/26/07, 10:30 PM  
Blogger S said...

George is short?

Oh, man. I'm crushed.

9/26/07, 10:48 PM  
Blogger Julie Marsh said...

That settles it. I'm booking my flight now while they're still filming and I can still travel. New York is lovely this time of year.

9/27/07, 12:28 AM  
Blogger Victoria said...

I'll take George and Brad at the same time, thankyouverymuch!

Damn, all I've got is that guy from Ally McBeal.

9/27/07, 12:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if i were you, i would have come down with a very sudden case of avian bird flu. which i would have recovered from as soon as i reached my block.


9/27/07, 4:04 AM  
Blogger sweatpantsmom said...

Mom-101, George Clooney's new girlfriend's got nothin' on you. That wan thing?

Besides, she's got a broken foot now - you can take her ass down in a minute.

9/27/07, 5:51 AM  
Blogger Guilty Secret said...

Oh. My. God.


Ha! Ha! Ha!

9/27/07, 11:27 AM  
Blogger Magpie said...

Damn. I'd run home for that.

9/27/07, 12:34 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

for what it's worth, i am home and have been in FULL stalk mode since yesterday. today, i got chloe decked in her cutest and i put on earrings and walked RIGHT THROUGH the set. just as i got close, they slammed the front door of the townhouse they were using and said quiet on the set. DAMN. will there be no joy in my life? i may just "have" to go to starbucks 30 more times today....

9/27/07, 2:06 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

I'd just settle for a lick of a stubbled cheek, or a well-muscled shoulder. Oh, yum!

9/27/07, 2:22 PM  
Blogger zchamu said...


9/27/07, 2:28 PM  
Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

Damn, Liz. Want a visitor?

Um, I'm packing the car & backing out of the driveway RIGHT NOW!

9/27/07, 3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I so wish you could snap a photo of George. Or even the Pitt, either will do for me. This would reinforce my faith in you as a happenin' New Yorker. ;) Hehehe.

That's really cool. No one ever makes movies in my town. Ha. Ha.

9/27/07, 5:00 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

Why can't that happen in my town?

I'm crossing my fingers that you "bump" into him.

9/27/07, 6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you had to go there with the izzy video, didn't ya? Funniest image in my head, ever. Ever. Please make the video. Give me a reason to wake up tomorrow morning.

9/29/07, 1:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally misread your title as "Mom 101 goes all Wonton on you". As in wonton soup.

9/30/07, 3:40 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Daisycake - that would be a great title for the next post about Chinese toys.

9/30/07, 11:13 PM  
Blogger Marty, a.k.a. canape said...

Oh my. I think I need to move in with you for awhile.

I cook. Can clean. Don't take up much room.

Your couch for a sour cream pound cake?

10/4/07, 11:05 AM  

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