Simpsonizing: A Lesson in Self-Esteem

At times I live in a fantasy world.

Or as I like to look at it, "a glass half-full kind of world."

Because that's the way glass half-full kind of people spin the notion of delusional thinking.

When I check out the weather forecast in the morning, I flip channels, "shopping" for the best forecast. In other words, if five of them say 79 and partly cloudy with chance of rain, I'll hold out until I get 74 and partly sunny. Then when everyone tells me to bring an umbrella, I can say "But no! It's going to be 74 and sunny!" And I will insist I am right.

Similarly when I go on those sites where you can create an avatar and see how, say, a bathing suit might look on you, I start with my real measurements and excellent intentions to be honest with myself. But eventually I start shaving inches.

It's easy to justify: Okay so when I lose ten pounds and all of them in my hips, let's see what this nutmeg/celadon tankini will do for me.

The real trouble starts when I start adding inches to my height.

So when Laid-off Dad suggested I get over to the Simpsons Movie site and create my Groeningesque doppelganger, I was game to see how accurate I could get it.

But once again, I ran into problems.

I started here:
Note: New mom eyes, unstyled hair, brows in need of
professional guidance, shirt with breast milk stain on left nipple.
Also, shapeless maternity pants to match the shapeless triceps.

Then I think wait, I am going to get my hair blown out sometime in the near future, right? Plus I'm totally starting to lose weight. I'm sure I just lost .5 pounds in the last three weeks. (Breastfeeding melts it RIGHT OFF, the books say. Melts it! Like butter!)
Still got those new mom eyes though.

And eventually I think eh, maybe I'll get some sleep in four years or so. Let's work off that premise.
That or an eye lift. Hey, what's good enough for Ethan Hawke...

That's my avatar and I'm sticking to it.


Blogger Woman with kids said...

There's nothing wrong with knowing what you will look like... Just like I *will* fit into those skinny jeans again? Regardless of when.

8/17/07, 9:42 AM  
Anonymous Mir said...

I don't want to alarm you, Liz, but you seem to have lost your eyebrows in the revamping. What have I told you about overplucking???

8/17/07, 10:03 AM  
Blogger Adventures In Babywearing said...

This was the best and most honest Simpsonizing likeness I've seen yet.- hilarious. And breastfeeding and weight-loss. What a total lie. If anything I think the pounds fly off as soon as you're done. At least that's what I say since I'm still nursing my 22 month old...


8/17/07, 10:05 AM  
Blogger Tracey said...

I made one, too. But I couldn't figure out those instructions to paste it. Hadn't had coffee yet...

8/17/07, 10:19 AM  
Blogger Lady M said...

It's your avatar and you can do what you want, darn it! I haven't made myself into a Simpson yet, but I did one for South Park. Unfortunately, every South Park character is pretty round.

8/17/07, 10:47 AM  

Hmmm, I tried it and no matter how many modifications I put in I still ended up looking like Moe. All I can say is D'oh!

8/17/07, 11:04 AM  
Anonymous rachel said...

love this. it's fun to create a better you in these sorts of situations :)

mine are pretty accurate except i have really cute lips and perfect hair. usually my lips are unlipsticked and my hair is back in a ponytail. :)

8/17/07, 11:15 AM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Revisionist, huh? Good thinking.

8/17/07, 11:43 AM  
Blogger Marriage-101 said...

I played around with the Simpsons tool as well, and I was amazed that I could create a hot simpsons character. Hey, the avatar had brown hair, just like me, so that's all we needed to have in common, right? Yet, it pains me to say that a Simpsons character is better looking than me. Ouch that hurts.

8/17/07, 12:02 PM  
Blogger hello insomnia said...

My Simpsons avatar has better hair. Is that sad or what?

8/17/07, 12:30 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

What Mir said - where'd the eyebrows go?

Also, nice tits.

8/17/07, 12:37 PM  
Blogger Virtualsprite said...

I'm going to have to try that... a new way to waste time at work. Excellent!

Please tell me they have red hair... I don't think I could handle it if my avatar didn't have red hair.

8/17/07, 12:59 PM  
Blogger Carla said...

I think I need to start breast feeding, because water aerobics has put 4 pounds on me. Wait a minute, do you have to be lactating first? Oh yea, and have a actual baby. Oh yeah and not have had a hystorectomy?

CRAP I have to stay in water aerobics, wonder how much total weight that will put on.
NIce unibrow!

8/17/07, 1:29 PM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

Well, what is the internet good for if not completely deluding ourselves?

That said, I am sure you look far more like the last picture than the first one.

8/17/07, 1:35 PM  
Anonymous Momish said...

I noticed the breast milk stains remained throughout. That puts you in touch with reality as far as I'm concerned!

8/17/07, 1:37 PM  
Blogger slouching mom said...

Well, darlin', at least you started with the first one. So your head isn't totally in the clouds...

Not that I think you look at all like the first one, mind you.

8/17/07, 2:46 PM  
Blogger Haley-O said...

Hee! That's hilarious! That first avatar is TOO MUCH!

8/17/07, 2:51 PM  
Blogger amygeekgrl said...

that's awesome! love the transformation. hee, hee. :)

8/17/07, 3:20 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

I would have done the same thing.

Who am I kidding? I did do the same thing. My avatar looks better than I do.

8/17/07, 3:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I tried this myself a while back, and my husband liked the Simpsonized me so much he had a t-shirt made. For me, not for him or Mimi. Is it weird to walk around with a t-shirt with your own (cartoon) picture on it? I'm not sure. I haven't worn it outside the house yet...

8/17/07, 4:30 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

I have to wonder about the breast milk stains. Still planning to be nursing in four years? ;)

8/17/07, 6:39 PM  
Anonymous Christina said...

If only it was that easy to change how we look in real life.

And yeah, I'm waiting for that fat to melt off from breastfeeding. Any day now.

8/17/07, 8:10 PM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

You are beautiful no matter what the avatar looks like.

8/17/07, 10:44 PM  
Anonymous Redneck Mommy said...

First off, let me start by saying I'm a wee tipsy on a nice red, surfing blogs because my darling husband insists on watching StarWars whatever AGAIN...for the umpteenth time.

How did I manage to marry such a dork??

Anyhoo...I'd do ya. If I ran that way. Which I don't, but you are totally doable. Even with the mom-bags under the eyes.

Even if you do resemble some weird ass Simpson's character.

I'd be all over ya...

8/18/07, 12:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh. I made my Simpson's avatar with the "rested" eyes too.

8/18/07, 10:23 AM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

Oy! I'm not feeling brave enough to try a Simpsonizer today but I think you turned out as lovely as a Simpsonesque woman can look — which is to say she simply doesn't do the real you justice :)

8/19/07, 1:02 PM  
Blogger Mama Zen said...

An extreme makeover!

8/19/07, 4:07 PM  
Blogger ~HJ said...

I so relate to this! I did a Simpson Me too but before I had my last son (boys are 16, 16, 13 and 2). I have this crazy notion in my head I'll fit back into all of my old clothes. I lost 50 pounds in 2002 only to gain it all back with the baby in 05. One day I'll fit into all of those clothes again because I'm on a good path though I don't know if my stepdaughter will leave me any by that time (which brings me to the eyebrow thing, she shaved hers off once, said it was an accident - ?) I have a South Park avatar that I love because like someone said before, they are all round, which is cool, we can be honest about it without shame. My favorite quote: "I'm in shape, round is a shape!"

8/19/07, 5:00 PM  
Anonymous lovingmom said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/19/07, 5:44 PM  
Anonymous RookieMom Heather said...

I've been meaning to simpsonize my family for weeks now. Thanks for the inspiration. It will happen -- sometime before I get a job, I'm sure!

8/19/07, 5:51 PM  
Blogger Stimey said...

A while back I made my avatar with the body you used for your after avatar because I didn't realize that there were several girl bodies to choose from. Then when I realized that there was a more...ahem...realistic body for my avatar, I was too lazy/reluctant to go back and do it.

None of us have bright yellow skin in real life either (probably). I say let us have lovely hourglass figures and no bags under our eyes in our Simpsons life.

8/19/07, 7:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love it...

thanks for stopping by the other day too!

- Jon
- Daddy Detective
- www.daddydetective.com

8/19/07, 8:10 PM  
Anonymous Jenny from Chicago said...

Ha! I am going to try it right now.

8/19/07, 11:29 PM  
Anonymous laurie said...

LOVE what you've done with your hair, liz. who do you go to?

8/19/07, 11:33 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Isn't that what avatars are for? I want mine to look like the Mominatrix in your sidebar on the right.

8/20/07, 12:55 AM  
Anonymous Mommy Babble said...

LOL That's great! It's nice to see I'm not the only one who fudges a little. I figure they're cartoon images, so I'm just using artistic licence. ;)

As for the breastfeeding and weight loss there must be some magic trick I don't get. with ym first i couldn't lose weight to save my life, with my second it all fell off then piled right back on.

8/20/07, 10:59 AM  
Anonymous ali said...

i tried it, it wasn't pretty, i shrunk myself (i'm not always 8 months pregnant right) it was better, but still sad..so sad....
so i deleted it!

8/20/07, 3:25 PM  
Blogger kgirl said...

Dude, I did that stupid celebrity look-alike thing, and my closest match was BARAK OBAMA.

At least your avatar is a freakin woman.

8/20/07, 9:47 PM  
Blogger BOSSY said...

Bossy is also waiting to lose her New Mom eyes. Eighteen fooking years later.

8/21/07, 1:13 PM  
Anonymous Swistle said...

Love it.

Your avatar gets prettier--but also looks dimmer with each adjustment. There's a lesson here somewhere, but I am too sleep-deprived to think of it.

8/21/07, 4:26 PM  
Blogger Motherhood Uncensored said...

RIP Tammy Faye.

8/21/07, 6:16 PM  
Anonymous neva said...

works for me! damn, if only it was that easy to "improve" looks in "real" life. sadly, it's not... and i should know, considering i've already survived having two kids and have moved on to trying one or two of those face-saving "procedures" with only minor "improvement". oy (two kids, i hasten to add, who, at 23 and 26 will be moving out any day now! which may help to explain the overwhelming lack of success in that "other" area...) ; )

by the way--in my head i'm over here commenting all the time. in reality, apparently that's a lie from the pits of hell. hope all is well with you and ALL of yours. xox

8/21/07, 6:54 PM  
Blogger Sarcasta-Mom said...

*chuckles* I have a whole closet full of "fantasy" clothes- you know, the ones that would fit if only I lost that measly, mythical 10 pounds? Great post.....

8/22/07, 9:21 PM  
Anonymous L.A. Daddy said...

Oh, do NOT let her fool you, people! It's all a lie! I met her when she was pregnant and she was still skinnier than me when I was 10 years old and weighed 80 pounds...

She's gorgeous and she knows it. I hate her. But... she's gorgeous so I can't hate her that much...

8/23/07, 5:58 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Ugh, I did my Simpson avatar a few weeks ago and... you notice I didn't post it? Because, honestly, no one looks good as a Simpson. Though you look much closer to the last Simpson than your first!

I'd much rather have a superhero avatar. You know, fabulous boobs up to our chins, tiny waists, cellulite free thighs... do they have a avatar maker for that?

8/26/07, 1:08 AM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Ooh, look, I found one.


That's gonna be a time-suck.

8/26/07, 1:38 AM  
Blogger Staci Schoff said...

You are a hottie.

But oh my God, did you just insinuate that Ethan Hawke had an eye lift???? Please say it isn't so -- I'm crushed!

8/30/07, 2:23 AM  

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