Open Arms. And Other Limbs.

Thank you all so kindly for the words of encouragement and support this week. Glad to know that I was actually beating up on my kid less than I was beating up on myself. Next week's self-flagellation topic: The Preschool Process. Stay tuned for all the, um, fun.

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Every night I lay in bed hugging my pillow, which was a good enough substitution for the time being. Every night I grasped in the dark for the third button to the left which set the tape deck in forward motion. Every night I fell asleep to the strains of Open Arms by Journey, my secret, passionate forbidden musical love. Don't tell my safety-pins-in-their-ears friends. Don't tell my Anarchy-A-on-their-hightop-toes friends.

(The love for Journey dies hard; find proof here that Don't Stop Believing was my ringtone a good year before the Sopranos - and Hilary Clinton - coopted that thing of beauty for their own purposes.)

To me Open Arms was The song. You know, for The time.

Or, more specifically, The First Time. For It.

I was determined to cross that First Time thing off my list before I turned seventeen. Just you know, to get it out of the way. Apparently the suspense was kiiiiilling me in that dramatic, sixteen year-old way.

Cut to the Junior Prom. Assymetrical 1985 hair. Braces that forced a tight-lipped smile for the Nikon. Red lipstick. Decent enough date.

He brought the $3 Andre Champagne, I brought the Sponge.

In my room, later that night, which wasn't particularly special or romantic or otherwise memorable, I pressed that third button on the tape deck as I'd practiced a million times. Open Arms came on. We didn't quite know what we were doing. It wasn't fun. It wasn't even interesting, for either of us. In fact, I'd insist to girlfriends in the days to come that It didn't count at all. That I get a do-over. That you can, in fact, have two First Times.

The song ended. The night was over. He may or may not have called me the next day.

But ohmigod, the next night, when I went to press play on that tape deck again, like, ohmigodohmigodohmigod...the tape was broken.

It had broken. It didn't work. After hundreds of nights of playing that song and imagining what It would be like, it would no longer play.

It was like, totally a metaphor. Or a sign. Or like, something. Ohmigod.

Even though It didn't count.

---
This has been the first of Flashback Friday writing prompts, brainchild of the brilliant Tracy and Catherine. The theme being "How [name of ye olde time-y group or song] Changed My Life."

It's not a meme. It's um...a writing prompt. If you want to do it too, feel free. If you want to read other takes from writers with some killer chops, go here:

Sweetney
Her Bad Mother
Whoorl
O The Joys
Mamalogues
Mrs. Flinger
IzzyMom
Breed 'Em And Weep
Girl's Gone Child

Bad Milestone. Bad, Bad Milestone.

Thalia wanted my attention while I was getting Sage dressed this morning. Frustrated, Thalia popped the baby on the top of her head, palm open. It was not enough to hurt, but enough that I reacted, instinctively.

And did it right back to Thalia.

I shocked her. I shocked myself.

"You don't like it when I do this to you, right?" I said, fighting back my own tears. She shook her head. "Well that's why we don't do it to Sage."

She didn't cry. I think she was too stunned. She hugged me. She hugged Sage.

And I felt like shit.

Third Annual Morning-After Oscars Recap

Do they give out awards for most boring award show of all time?

No?

Okay, then how about these...

Best Achievement in Special Effects: Lisa Rinna's Lips

The Sofia Coppola in Godfather III Commemorative Award for Casting: Kimora Lee Simmons doing fashion commentary for E! Entertainment. What, they couldn't get Cher?

Name Destined to Start Appearing On Baby-Naming Websites Today: Saoirise

Lifetime Achievement Award, Foreign: Nicole Kidman's plastic surgeon.

Most Esoteric Segment - A cinematic tribute to periscopes and binoculars, which narrowly edged out the second place contender, a cinematic tribute to spectacles and pocket watches.

Best Costuming: Cameron Diaz, playing a high school girl with tan lines dressed for prom.

Most Uncomfortable if Not Quite Painful Sell-Out: Jerry Seinfeld presenting as an animated bee.

Best Preshow Adlib: Ryan Seacrest waving off the creepy, Jennifer Garner-groping Gary Busey with, "I'll talk to you later...I'll see you at, um, that party...um, you know the one..."

Last Person I'd Expect To Give an Award To: Ryan Seacrest

Best Oh No He Di-Int Moment: Jon Stewart on Norbit's Best Makeup nomination, "Too often the Academy ignores films that are not good."

Best Oh No She Di-Int Moment: Jennifer Hudson's stylist

Best Candidates for Hosting Next Year's Oscars: Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill

Best Impression of Weird, Aloof, Socially-Awkward, Brilliant, Tortured Artists Who Shouldn't Change a Thing: Joel and Ethan Coen

Lifetime Achievement Award, U.S.: Sarah Larson.

If You Knew Mommy Like I Knew Mommy

7:58 PM, Saturday

"Would you like some of my milk?"

"No, thank you Thalia."

"You would like a little bit of my milk? You can have it."

"No sweetie, but that's very nice, thank you. That's nice sharing."

"You want something to drink mommy?"

"Not really. I'm not too thirsty right now."

"Oh. You like water? You want water. You want a teeny glass of water."

"Thanks Thalia, that's so nice of you but really...I don't want anything to drink. I don't want water or milk right now"

"Hm. Okay mommy."

"Okay. But thank you. Really."

[beat]

"You want a glass of wine? I think you want a glass of wine. You want a glass of wine, Mommy."

C.

We met Freshman year in college through a mutual friend, which turned out to be only the first of a million common threads and coincidences that bonded us together instantly.

For one, I worked at the cheesy heartburn-inducing Faneuil Hall Mexican restaurant right across from the chic clothing boutique where she pulled in a big $4.25 an hour. I served her illegal margaritas and she hustled me into the line-out-the-door nightclub with the stupid beach club theme, which connected to her shop by a surreptitious back staircase. After one wild night out with the (much) older and (very) cute managers, we swore each other to semi-secrecy, and our friendship was sealed.

The time she almost fainted on the Boston T, I ushered her off the car towards to a low wall bordering one of the university buildings. She lay down, and then I lay down head to head with her so that she wouldn't feel at all weird lying down on a wall in the middle of the day.

Or maybe that was something she did for me. It's hard to say; we blended together at times.

I always loved that could turn any negative into a positive: I gained weight. You actually look better. I started smoking again. I'll help you quit whenever you're ready. My hair color accidentally turned pink, ugh. Let's hit a club and work it!

Our support for one another continued into our twenties and early thirties, when we never lived more than ten blocks apart. We traveled together. We partied together. We traded clothes and furniture and just-because-it's-Wednesday gifts. We consoled one another's breakups and celebrated our accumulating career successes over much wine. She turned me onto Port and acupuncture and London. I turned her onto Prada and Manhattan haircuts.

In our single days, we spent Valentine's Day dinners at quiet West Village restaurants where same-sex couples were treated with appropriate fanfare. In our coupled days, which rarely coincided, we turned dates into trios. Our visiting parents would never think to plan an evening at the theater or dinner at the Oyster Bar without including both of us.

This is what we have in our single 20s, if we're very, very lucky.

Then came the serious relationship (hers), the move to the burbs (hers), the first kid (hers), the move to the more distant burbs, the elopement (hers) and then our first ever fight in over a decade of BFF-ship over, essentially, the acknowledgment of what I'd sensed for some time - that I wasn't on top on her husband's list of favorite people. I doubt I was even in the top 200. I felt left out of her wedding plans. She felt I was raining on her happiness.

It wasn't a breakup entirely. We talked, we worked through it. But the reality was that two rivers weren't all that separated us now.

I had Thalia at the same time she had her second daughter - we gave birth on each other's due dates, and soon found ourselves in similar mental spaces again. Her joy at being able to share the experience of parenthood with me was palpable, and she was generous both with her time and her council. We reconnected. We celebrated again.

Now when we get together on the rare weekends that our schedules allow for, there's too much to say and never enough time. We talk far more quickly than people should be allowed. We talk with our mouths full. We talk over each other and hold two simultaneous conversations, remarkably still able to take in every word. I always leave feeling psychically nourished and happy.

Earlier this week we spent more real time together than we had in a long, long time. The hours led us to the deeper conversations, past "So how was your week," past "Yeah, my kid has a cold too," past even "Hey, remember the time when we..."

We got back to the connection that reminded me why I have loved her so much all these years, why old friends are such a commodity, why women need other good women in their lives.

This time when she slipped out my front door towards the elevator, my heart hurt terribly.

8 Million New Toys I Want for My Kids...And One I Definitely Don't

I have managed to survive an entire day of Toy Fair. This is no small feat.

The website describes it as the largest international toy trade show in the Western Hemisphere. Considering that it actually takes up the entire Western Hemisphere, I'm not surprised.

Imagine aisles and aisles (and aisles and aisles) of toy manufacturers, few of which design their booths by the adage "less is more." At any given moment, you can be assaulted by exhibitors in 6-foot tall character suits, Lolita-like models styled to look like a doll they carry, overgrown frat boys-turned-marketers tearing down crowded aisles on the latest greatest scooters, and the smaller inventors reaching out to you -- literally, reaching out and grabbing you -- and pulling you into their booth for a demo. And that's saying nothing of the sensory assault in the electronics aisles, which I mostly avoided.

Lord I'm getting old.

But as the diligent shopping blog co-editor that I am, I persevered.

While it was great to find so many incredible new games and dolls and toys to feature (like Boomwackers, although I don't think they appreciated me pointing to their celeb press page and asking whether it was the Boomwhackers that killed Boomwhacker-lover Anna Nicole Smith) it was particularly cool to meet the people behind companies I already love. There's something so awesome about knowing who makes the stuff you buy for your kids.

One stand-out was the adorable little Asian grandma inventor of multicultural anatomically correct dolls, who just cashed out so she could go back to designing more and spending time with her five-year old twin grandchildren. She even created a down syndrome doll, God love her, just because someone wrote her and asked for one.

"It won't sell," she said. "But I don't care. I made it anyway."

But then there was this one company...

(Oh, there's always one, isn't there.)

I was instantly drawn in by the big sign that said EcoDolls. Eco Dolls! What could be bad about something called Eco Dolls?

Promising!

"So what are their faces made out of?"

"Vinyl PVC."

Um.

It was painful watching the guy squirm as I grilled him on what exactly made his dolls so "eco," or, as the website puts it, "the most environmentally friendly dolls on the market."

Environmentally friendly dolls made from vinyl PVC, packaged in huge boxes with plastic windows, shipped over from China, which uses like no fuel, really. China's close!

Apparently the answer has something to do with the fact that their clothes and bodies are made of cotton. "Well, we can't do everything," he told me. "So we just make small and positive changes where we can."

Which is...

cotton clothing.

"Organic cotton?"

"No."

I guess they're hoping that moms don't ask questions. That we're all just so stupid and eager to jump on the eco trend that we're happy to buy some vinyl pvc made-in-China dolls for our kids because the dolls are wearing like, tooooootally cute outfits with like, cute trees and stuff on them which will like sooooo encourage our kids to like care about like animals and oxygen and stuff.

(Oh, if only real environmental crusaders like Kristen or Izzy or Cristina were there.)

I suppose the books that come with the dolls about kids planting trees or strapping themselves to oil tankers with Greenpeace or whatever are decent enough, if not printed on recycled paper as they should be.

But what finally made me realize that the manufacturer was completely delusional was this blurb on their postcards:

The Dolls aren't over-glamorized. We designed each to look like a 10 or 11 year old girl with fun, fashionable clothing and age-appropriate hair and make-up.

Ladies, meet your average 10 year old:



Hold me.

I'll Take That Hazmat Suit in a 2T, Please

Thalia stepped gingerly towards the bassinet to take a look at the week-old baby.

"Nonono! Germs," my neighbor said, before forcing out the least sincere laugh I've ever heard.

"Can I look?" I asked.

"Sure...

Okay, that's enough." she admonished before I had focused on much more than his hat. She shooed me away from the blanketed, swaddled, and sealed-for-his-protection newborn.

"C'mon, you know how germ-phobic I am."

"Germs are good!" I laughed. "Kids need to be exposed to germs!"

"Not now," she said. "Not yet. No germs."

But...this is your second child, I thought. You're supposed to be over this.

Perhaps I'm not the person to be debating her on the subject. Nate and I took both kids out to eat at the local diner (That's because you're crazy, my neighbor said) in their first week of life. We let them pet dogs. We let them have their faces licked by those dogs. We allow them to play in (gasp) sandboxes and to (gasp) feed the animals at the petting zoo. And I can't tell you how many days it's been since we washed Sage's pacifier with actual soap.

So okay, maybe we're on the slightly unsanitary side of the parenting spectrum. But still, isn't this germ-phobia way out of control?

At Cool Mom Picks we're pitched all kinds of hand sanitizers, clothes in "naturally germ-resistant fabrics," BYO placemats, and just this week, big floppy disposable plastic mitts for kids to wear in public bathrooms. Then of course, there's the ever-popular dangle your baby from the bathroom door while you pee invention.

I'll just hang here while you do your germ-free thing, mom

(For the best riff ever about it, visit Greg's post at Daddytypes.)

Look, I don't want to rag too much on these products, though lord knows I could. I know it's just a bunch of entrepreneurial moms coming up with what they think is an awesome idea, then spurred onto action by friends who agree, Yes! Yes! Why I WOULD happily carry that harness thing around in my bag at all times just in case I have to pee while I'm out with the baby and can't manage to wash his hands immediately afterwards if, God forbid, he touches anything in the process which will doubtlessly lead to HIV and syphilis and low math scores on the PSATs.

Lest you get the wrong idea, I'm not entirely disgusting. We certainly have the Cleanwell in the diaper bag, and I'm terrified of the communal toys at Bubby's that seemingly haven't been scrubbed since the last Bush-led recession.

But am I alone here in thinking that the fear of germs is going to lead to more earlier demises than the germs themselves?

The Realities of Dating a Comedian on Valentine's Day

The flowers were beautiful.

The card was...well, it was a card.

You Want to Know Why I Get Political?

Here's why.

But today, if you want to hear what's on my mind, you'll have to head over to Momocrats. Which you should probably be doing anyway. There are some nice ladies over there!

Are Our Kids Safe From Lead? The Toy Industry Thinks So.

Ever since I first posted about lead in toys, and then worked with Kristen to set up a comprehensive Safer Toy Guide on Cool Mom Picks, the issue has established permanent lodging in my brain. A year ago I wouldn't have thought twice about bringing home those cheap souvenir maracas from Mexico. But now? I'm compelled to wonder what exactly they're made with and how exactly I'd feel about them ending up in Sage's mouth.

In some ways I feel myself slipping in vigilance, becoming more open to mass-produced playthings than I was during the recall-a-day insanity of November and December. But the truth is, the issue isn't over. It's just less appealing to the Today Show producers.

Then last week Melissa informs me that Bush's yesterday proposed level funding for the Consumer Products Safety Comission in his 2009 budget. Yesterday I see this article in the NY Times about high lead levels in the plastic of baby products. And last month I get a press release (one of the rare relevant ones) about my all-time favorite shop, Wal-Mart (snort) continuing to sell lead-tainted bibs since they weren't "officially recalled" outside of Illinois.

Maybe Wal-Mart can change their slogan to Everyday Low Standards? Catchy!

And so this seems like as good a time as any to remind everyone that we should keep the pressure on. It's also a good time to (finally - sorry!) post the answers that Joan Lawrence, the VP of Safety for the Toy Industry Association, gave to the wonderfully insightful questions that readers asked here of her back in December.

Thanks to Ms. Lawrence for her willingness to face the moms. And big thanks to Rachelle Lacroix of Fleishman-Hilliard who's been amazing at facilitating this all.

I'd rather not editorialize except to say that an emailed Q&A format doesn't inherently have the immediacy and honesty that an actual interview situation can provide. But in any case, the following are the answers verbatim.

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Q: What percentage of toys currently on store shelves have been tested for safety? - Jessica

A: Most toys, especially those sold at major retailers as well as specialty toy stores, are tested against our US standards in their normal course of manufacture. However, when the lead-in-paint recall issue arose, major retailers and toy brands began massively re-testing products from store shelves and warehouses, to ensure the safety of the products and reassure consumers. A conservative estimate is that over 20,000 different types of toys have been retested in this effort by toy manufacturers and retailers.


Q: Anecdotally, I have heard several stories of recalled toys remaining on shelves at a major retailer, only to be declined at register. This means toys with harmful lead content are still in reach of children. Are there penalties for retailers who do not immediately remove recalled toys? - Me

When a recall happens, retailers must immediately remove product from store shelves and post recall notices. As you note, some retailers have an added level of assurance with software systems that do not allow a toy to be rung up at the register if it has been recalled. This is an important safeguard that prevents the sale of recalled toys, in the event that a toy was not in its proper shelf-space when store employees were clearing the recalled product. This safeguard prevents the recalled product from leaving the store. If you have concerns, notify the store manager immediately.

Penalties can be imposed against retailers that continue to sell product that violate U.S. laws. More importantly, reputable retailers are highly motivated to remove recalled toys because they value and rely on the trust of their customers, and need to protect their good name as well. Just another reason to shop with retailers you know.

(Mom101: I guess Wal-Mart needs some more motivation then. Ack, sorry. Can't help just a wee bit of editorializing.)

Q: While there are there is testing of random samplings of cosmetics, food, and drugs, why don't toys get the same treatment, and do you believe they should going forward? - Angela

A: Normally, toys are sampled and tested at the point of manufacture -- and to a lesser extent, once product has reached store shelves. However, testing “at manufacture” (at design, then again before, during and after production) is the most efficient way to ensure compliance so this has been the emphasis of recent efforts to strengthen the toy safety testing system. In this way, potential issues can be addressed early on before the toy gets to the marketplace.

New protocols are being developed for the timing, frequency and sampling of testing to ensure consistent compliance with standards, in light of recent recalls for lead in paint. In this effort, the toy industry is working with the American National Standards Institute (ANSI is an independent, not-for-profit standards development organization) to implement this industry-wide, mandatory program.


Q: How can we implement hand-held XRF analyzers at the manufacturing, shipping, and distributions levels? - Dr Moz

A: There are many types and brands of XRF analyzers. Although they can be a useful screening tool, these are very expensive commercial products that require proper training to use and understanding of the toy safety regulations. There is the potential for variability in results depending on the materials tested and the training of the user (and we have seen examples of these misuses in the media lately, providing erroneous info to consumers). Instead, manufacturers use a variety of testing methods and protocols (including federally mandated test methods) to insure that paints are lead-free, and testing at the earliest possible point in the manufacturing process allows for issues to be detected and corrected early on. (That’s why as an industry we are developing protocols to include testing before, during and after production – before products are shipped – as that is the best way to prevent issues.) Look for future news on the toy industry’s efforts to strengthen the toy safety system at www.toyassociation.org and www.toyinfo.org


Q: Many have called for the resignation of CPSC president Nancy Nord for among other things, her opposition to a bill that would increase CPSC's budget and staff, accredit testing labs, and make regulations stricter. What's the TIA's perspective on this bill? And how does the TIA reconcile your plans with the apparently negative attitude of the CPSC towards regulation? -Julie and Candace

A: The Toy Industry Association (TIA) has gone on record in support of increased funding and staff for the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) to perform its important role on behalf of consumers.. While CPSC is an agency of dedicated, highly knowledgeable professionals, it does need increased resources to cover the 15,000 different types of products under its purview. In addition, TIA has specifically called on Congress to pass legislation for mandatory testing of toy safety, by accredited labs, and this will be key to strengthening the toy safety assurance system. TIA’s initiative with American National Standards Institute (ANSI, see #3 above) is intended to directly complement and enhance such legislation. The CPSC as well as legislators, have commended the industry on these ongoing efforts and the industry’s commitment to strengthen the toy safety system.


Q: Research is now determining that federal lead paint standards are so high that some manufacturers are producing product whose lead paint level is far below the limits. Do you support changing the safety standard? And do you support federally regulated lead levels in all parts of the toy (not just surface paint), as is the law in Illinois? -Caramama

A: Recognizing that it has been nearly 30 years since the lead in paint regulation was implemented, TIA and its members recognize that the lead paint standards need to be reexamined. We support the concept of stricter limits for lead, consistent with scientifically based hazard requirements, in accessible components of children’s products. In some cases, however, electronic components for functional reasons might need to be excluded since children would not be exposed to these inaccessible components. The toy industry also supports changes in the lead requirements for toys at the federal level, rather than having a patchwork of inconsistent laws in each state.


Q: The initiative that TIA has developed "to make sure none of this happens again," is it voluntary or law? What happens if a company chooses not to participate in it? -David

A: That’s an important question. In addition to our TIA initiative in conjunction with ANSI, TIA and its members have called upon Congress to make toy testing mandatory going forward. This is key to our initiative as the improvements to the system need to be consistent and industry-wide. Our initiative and federal legislation are meant to work hand-in-hand.


Q: How can parents participate in the standards-setting process? - Anon

A: US toy safety standards are developed under the standards body, ASTM International and include participation by a range of stakeholders including industry, retail, pediatricians and other medical experts, government, and consumer representatives. Parents and other consumers can participate directly, or have their concerns raised through various consumer organizations whose mission is to represent consumer interests. (Contact astm.org for more information.)


Q: Since Europe has enacted stricter standards governing the use of phthalates in toys China now has separate phthalate-free factories. If Europe is using a phthalate substitute with success, why aren't we? - Mrs. Chicky and Suzanne

A: There has been a lot of talk about the safety of phthalates in children’s products over the past few years. (Phthalates are substances added to vinyl specifically to make it soft and pliable, which makes for toys that resist breakage, eliminating the chance of sharp edges and small parts.) Recognizing that toxicology should be determined by health scientists (not by me :) or by toymakers!) we as an industry turned to such scientists in seeking answers on the issue. The industry commissioned a comprehensive review of the existing data on DINP, the phthalate most commonly used in toys, which confirmed that there is strong science supporting the safe use of phthalates in children’s products. In addition, U.S. government health scientists in an independent, extensive, peer-reviewed study specific to DINP use in children’s products, found that DINP is safe as used. Other scientists and expert panels, including those in Europe, have come to the same conclusions.

So why would phthalates be banned in Europe? Even the European Commission’s own scientific experts, the European Chemicals Bureau, after a multi-year study of DINP, found no reason to ban the substance in children’s products. Oddly enough, the European Commission ignored there own experts’ recommendation.

So why not just switch materials anyway? US government health scientists specifically cautioned against moving away from a safe substance like DINP to lesser known, less tested alternates that could present acute risks. The fact is that none of the potential substitutes for phthalates have the safe track record that DINP, does. With nearly 50 years of safe use, and extensive study specifically demonstrating its safety in toys, DINP is a good choice for children’s products.

For more information, see the Industry Statements on this issue and reference a copy of the study at toyassociation.org.


Q: What are the measures in place to regulate other toxic chemicals in toys including cadmium, chlorine, pvc, arsenic and mercury? - Jule

A: The US Consumer Product Safety Commission can and does regulate the use of hazardous heavy metals in children’s products (such as cadmium, arsenic, mercury and others) under the Federal Hazardous Substances Act (FHSA). These heavy metals are also limited in paint and similar surface coatings under the US toy safety standards of ASTM International to reduce children’s exposure to these naturally occurring substances. These substances are never intentionally added to a toy and the federal requirements and safety standards limit amounts of these naturally occurring substances, that may be picked up in the environment, to trace levels..

In contrast, PVC is not a heavy metal and is widely used in lots of products from life-saving medical equipment to cars, clothing, shoes and accessories, and children’s products. There is a lot of misunderstanding about PVC. Under the FHSA, if PVC products contained hazardous heavy metals they would be restricted from sale and banned by the CPSC. When CPSC finds a potential hazard, the agency acts through recall and other means. (See Q#9 above regarding phthalates, which are the softeners added to PVC to make it soft, pliable and durable, and eliminate the chance of breakage, sharp edges and small parts.)

(Mom101: But evidently the CPSC does not always act if a product contains a hazardous heavy metal. Like lead. See also: The Illinois-only bib recall. Okay, I'll shut up now.)


Q: What happens to the recalled toys? How do we dispose of recalled toys safely? And is there any way to regulate toys that are resold by either unscrupulous or uninformed individuals through venues like eBay? - Kristen, Jessica, Nancy

A: Consumers should return recalled toys to the manufacturer, who is responsible for proper disposal. (Companies involved in lead-in-paint recalls are working with environmental experts to conduct appropriate disposal and to avoid environmental contamination.)

As for regulation of the sale of recalled products online (or through other second hand markets), this presents a challenge. It is difficult to control the resale of toys via eBay or even garage sales. eBay has been working with the US Consumer Product Safety Commission for several years to post notices to buyers to prompt them to check recalled product lists before buying. In addition, eBay does attempt to monitor its marketplace for recalled toys, but given the number of products sold there at any given moment, buyers still need to beware. (Second hand stores like those run by national charity organizations are also trying to screen products.) Any retailer or re-seller of products are subject to CPSC jurisdiction. CPSC has the authority to stop sale of dangerous recalled products wherever sold in the U.S.

We always recommend that when buying toys on eBay or in second hand outlets, check the recalled products list first. If you are aware of a recalled toy that is being placed on sale, you should bring it to the attention of the individual seller and/or manager of the online marketplace

Q: Obviously consumer confidence in Chinese-made toys is way down. Why do we believe that a country with an atrocious human rights record cares about making toys safe for our children? And why do we continue to grant them the best possible access to our market while they keep their market relatively closed to us? - Candace

A: Countries don't make toys; companies do. And products sold here in the US, regardless of where they are produced, must comply with our US standards. Companies planning to sell in our US market need to be responsible for ensuring the safety and quality of their products. That’s why the US toy industry is focusing on improving its toy safety assurance process, including making sure that its manufacturing suppliers (be they in China or anywhere) know the US requirements and abide by them.

At the same time, China has recognized that consumer confidence has been shaken. They have demonstrated their concern about the lead paint that infiltrated some of the supply system, and they have increased their on-site inspections at the factories as well as at the ports. In many instances, they have embargoed goods until appropriate proof of testing could be provided and have closed factories that could not demonstrate proper compliance. In these ways, China has demonstrated its commitment to address its current product safety issue. We, as an industry, will continue to encourage this support and increased vigilance by China’s government.

For info on the toy industry’s efforts to ensure safe and fair working conditions in toy factories, see www.icti-care.org

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Thoughts?

Me? Undecided? Inconceivable.

It is less than twelve hours to go until I pull a lever for the Democratic presidential candidate and I remain firmly, staunchly, hopelessly, on the fence.

This is a first for me. I tend to have wildly strong opinions (shocking!) on most everything from politics to kids clothing to the correct lyrics to nursery rhymes. Nate insists that the last line of Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Bear is Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? and it drives me crazy apeshit bonkers because the proper cadence and appropriate play on words can only be achieved with Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he? Seriously we could fight for six hours about it. And we have.

(Even so, he did get me on how it's out came the sun that dried out all the rain for that stupid spider. I always liked the parallels between down came the rain and up came the sun but yeah, I suppose the sun is coming out from behind the clouds and not up first thing in the morning to make things all dry.)

But I digress.

Because I'm stalling.

Because I have no idea what to do.

My political post here last week could be called the Rorshack post, in that Hillary fans saw it as an endorsement of their candidate, while Obama fans shouted yeah! That's why we love him! Yet I meant it when I said I was undecided. In truth, I am swinging between two teams like Anne Heche in her heyday. Every time someone gives me a good pro-Hill argument I'm like yeah! She's my woman! Go Hill! And then every time I hear a strong Obama endorsement I'm like whoo yeah! Obama! Rock on!

(So forgive me in advance for this ramble. I'm using it in part to sort through my feelings.)

I see in Hillary a strong, confident leader. A woman who can shake off any mud flung her way, who could take on any opposing candidate on issues both foreign and domestic, who will probably be reforming legislation and reaching out to repair severed diplomatic relationships within 13 seconds of taking that left hand off that bible in January. I don't think she "plays both sides" as her critics declare, as much as she is authentically moderate on many issues - perhaps the first essential step towards re-uniting the old reds and blues.

And then I see in Barack an amazing inspiration. A man who gives me goosebumps, not only when I hear him speak, but when I think of the young people he's mobilized, the numbers he's drawing in states like Iowa. He's not just a man you want to follow, he's a cult you want to join, a guy with a whole quart of Kool Aid with your name on it, only this time it really will take you to a better place. I think he has good fresh ideas and will surround himself with good, smart people.

If you haven't yet seen this video - thanks, Laura! - it's profoundly moving. Who these days writes folk songs about candidates...um, ever?

It makes me believe that whether he is as "ready" (so to speak) as his opponent is right now, that in 8 years, the positive legacy of an Obama presidency could last for generations. Also, that an Obama White House will be so far removed from the wretched one of the past 7 years, that he could be one the true knight in shining armor coming to right the wrongs, undo the curse, kiss the frog, melt the wicked witch, banish the evil king, destroy Voldemort, toss the ring into Mt Doom, and do it all against a Black-Eyed Peas soundtrack.

And then I think, ack, I'm buying into the media narrative. Let's go back to the issues. Let's go to who could win. Let's go to who's the right person for the job.

Then I visualize how pitting old farty flip-floppin' McPlain up there against Obama could start a real revolution, if not a damn near civil war in this country over the next nine months. And I kind of like that.

Can't there just be a Clibama candidate, as Rebecca suggested?

Okay, I am definitely Wallace Shawn in the Princess Bride, saying "So then clearly I cannot choose the vial in front of you!" before going on to justify why he can clearly not choose the vial in front of himself, either.

And we all know what happens to Wallace Shawn in the end.

I look for guidance.

"What do you feel in your gut?" my mother asks. "Doesn't your body tell you before your head knows it? Doesn't your stomach get just a little bit queasy when you hear that one candidate in particular is behind in a poll?"

Yeah, there is.

There is.

I will proudly, happily, avidly support either nominee with unwavering conviction. But there is one candidate for whom my heart will ache just a bit more, who will inspire a greater number of longing what if's, if left behind after tomorrow.

I think it's Obama.

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Edited to add: Funny enough, I had a paragraph in here about how each candidate's supporters truly believe with all certainty that their pick is the only one who can win. I took it out because this damn thing was rambly enough already. But commenters are proving it to be so.

I don't believe that only one person can win. I know it's a long race. I know a lot can happen in nine months. I know that VPs matter. Perhaps that's why I'm having trouble choosing.

Whatever happens, this is all totally fascinating to me, and I think we should all be wise to know that very soon, all (well most) of us Dems will be on the same team, pulling hard, and putting our collective voices to work for the much needed betterment of people kind.

Something Old, Something New, Something a Little Disturbing

I'm amazed and honored at the great discussion my recent political post generated. It's so nice to see a group, even with diverse opinions about candidates and priorities - including those who posted anonymously - all be able to discuss this stuff so civilly and thoughtfully.

(Okay, so there were a few anonymous exceptions that I had to delete. It's so awesome when people say the most offensive things about women, minorities, liberals, diverse families, and then go wait a minute, why did you delete me? What did I say? Ignorance isn't bliss. It sucks. And I'm not going to allow it here.)

It's not easy to be level-headed when we all take this so personally. As we should. And so the fact that this awesome little exchange took place right here, under this stupid little off-center masthead of mine, well that's just cool.

This is why I'm especially honored that Liz Thompson, aka The Hardest Working Blogger in Blogdom, saw fit to take a break from her 87 writing assignments and family of like, 72, and honor the post with a Perfect Post award.

Click over to Petroville and Suburban Turmoil for other winning posts that are definitely more worthy of your time than most of what's on TV this weekend.

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Congrats Julie, my dear friend, and now mama of three. Feel free to hit her blog and wish her a big "whoo!" on the birth of Oliver Sebastian and the end of cankles forever. No, this time for real. No really. Seriously. This is the last one.

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Overheard from Thalia to Nate this afternoon: That's not a booger. That's mommy.

I suppose it's good she knows the difference?