Cinderella, The Retelling. Or: Why I Should Never Write Children's Books
"Well, that's Cinderella. She's a storybook character. A princess. They were out of Dora, sorry. "
"Read it to me."
"Well, I don't have the book."
"Read it to me!"
"Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl named Cinderella who lived with some, um...her step...well some mean people. They made her do all kinds of cleaning up around the house. But wait, cleaning up isn't bad. That's not why they were mean. They were mean because they never helped her clean up. So she had to do all the dishes by herself. And sweep all the floors..."
"I like sweeping!"
"Yes, sweeping is fun. That's right. But she didn't like it. So anyway so she wanted to go to a big party called a ball..."
"A ball! I like balls"
"Right, but not a ball like you throw, a ball which means a big party. At the castle. But Cinderella didn't have anything to wear so a magic fairy godmother came down and gave her a beautiful dress and cleaned up for her and then something about a mouse...and then she turned a pumpkin into a um...well, a carriage - do you know what that is? It's like a cart with horses - so Cinderella could get to the ball. And then the prince fell in love with her. But she lost her shoe on the way home which was made out of glass for some stupid reason and then when the prince came to find her....oh wait, I forgot the part about how she had to leave really quickly before she told him her name. I don't know why. So anyway she tried it on - the shoe, I mean - and it fit so he knew that she was the one he loved and they lived happily ever after in the castle...oh wait, something about midnight. Okay forget that. It's not important. Okay so they lived happily ever after in the castle where they played all the time, and painted and did art together and read lots and lots of books.
Because smart, cool girls always like reading lots of books.
So, what do you think?"
"Can I watch a show?"