5.11.2008

Sage, My Sage

Sage,

I've had one year to prepare for today. I've had one year plus a day, this being leap year. And yet somehow I'm blindsided by it.

One? Really? Is it possible?

Forgive any triteness that may follow.

You'd think that one year is long enough to prepare, ample time to know what to say to you today that's not unworthy of the joy and beauty and pure love that is Sage. And yet I find myself hesitant, afraid of finding the wrong words.

As your grandma always said to me, "You are a child for the first time and I am a mother for the first time so we'll just have to learn from each other." I am a second-time mother for the first time and I think the adage holds.

I want so much for you to be your own person, to find your own way, to live independently of the shadow of Thalia. And while I am spending all this time anxious about it, about I realize it's exactly what you have done, with or without my help.

I hope I can help you continue growing into the person you already so clearly are.


I hope you never stop being the confident girl who wants that thing, that one - yeah, that one over there, almost...within...reach... and will stop at nothing to get it.

I hope you never stop being the joyous girl who claps to the beat of any song.

I hope you never stop being the mysterious girl who giggles to herself when no one's looking.

I hope you can always enjoy bread with the abandon you do now.

I hope you never stop being the girl who loves her daddy beyond anything else, even bread.

I hope you never stop being the happy girl who smiles with her whole face. And yet I hope you know that you never owe anyone a smile, and that the ones earned of you are worth far more than the ones given easily.

Most of all, I hope you understand that coming second doesn't mean coming last.

I will always think of Thalia in terms of how she transformed me - she made me a mother. But I will always think of you in how you transformed us all into the family that we are.


I don't always have the time or attention to photograph every single smile, every eyelash flutter, every outreached arm or toothless shriek of joy. I don't write bad poetry to you (for that you will be grateful, trust me) and I don't have a baby book plastered with firsts and nexts and almosts and soons.

What I do have is enormous love for you.

And the willingness to learn from you, Sage my sage.

Know that regardless of when you were born, there are spaces in my heart reserved for you and only you.

This much I am sure. Even after only one year.

Happy birthday Sagey. Your birthday made my Mother's Day.


43 Comments:

Blogger marasmoma said...

Awww that was SO touching!
My own number 2 is turning a year in less than 2 months and you have completely summed up my feelings about my own little guy.

5/11/08, 9:05 PM  
Anonymous debra said...

What a beautiful little girl. Happy birthday to her and Happy Mother's Day to you!

5/11/08, 9:06 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

Oh, how time flies! I can't believe she's already one!

I hope you both have a wonderful day, celebrating your motherhood and her entry into one of the best families in the world! Happy Day!

I hope you enjoy everything about it.

5/11/08, 9:07 PM  
Blogger slouching mom said...

She's got an inner light that's really beautiful.

Happy Birthday, Sage!

5/11/08, 9:20 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Happy Birthday, Sage!

Very, very sweet.

5/11/08, 9:25 PM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

you done good, mama.

5/11/08, 9:42 PM  
Blogger H.E.Eigler said...

What a gorgeous girl you have! Happy birthday to her and Happy Mother's day to you :)

5/11/08, 9:57 PM  
OpenID wish.wait.hope.pray said...

Awww happy birthday Sage!

5/11/08, 9:59 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Happy birthday Sage! Mira is right behind you, ready to turn one and cross over to toddlerhood. It really surprised me just how different the second child can be from the first.

Happy Mother's Day!

5/11/08, 10:09 PM  
Anonymous Glennia said...

She's as beautiful as her mama. Happy Birthday, Sage!

Happy Mother's Day, to you and your sweet, sweet family.

5/11/08, 10:23 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

"I will always think of Thalia in terms of how she transformed me - she made me a mother. But I will always think of you in how you transformed us all into the family that we are."

I love this. Happy Birthday to Sage, the smiley-est baby I have every had the pleasure to meet. Her pictures get more and more beautiful.

5/11/08, 10:46 PM  
Blogger Patamomma said...

Happy Birthday Dear Sage, and Happy Mother's Day to you! That was touching and you blogged what I would like to write to my 2nd child She will be 4 next month, and I feel the same about her. Thank you for that. Patty

5/11/08, 10:59 PM  
Anonymous dana said...

That was so beautiful. Sage is so beautiful. I have tears. Happy ones. :)

Happy Mother's Day, Liz!
Happy Birthday, Sage!

5/12/08, 12:06 AM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

What a lovely, happy day for all four of you. And such a beautiful tribute to your sweet girl.

5/12/08, 12:33 AM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

5/12/08, 1:47 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

Just beautiful - both Sage and your words.

Happy 1st birthday sweet girl.

5/12/08, 2:10 AM  
Blogger mo-wo said...

Happy birthday to a truly unforgettable, show stopping whole-face-smiler. Man she is a darling.

"she transformed me - she made me a mother. But I will always think of you in how you transformed us all into the family" -- ain't that the truth.

Beautiful.

5/12/08, 2:28 AM  
Blogger sweatpantsmom said...

Awww - that made me cry. But in a good, Mother's Day kind of way.

Happy Birthday Sage!

(My 'baby' turned twelve last month, and my other 'baby' turns ten soon. It certainly does fly by.)

5/12/08, 4:42 AM  
Anonymous Alexis said...

Happy Birthday Sage!
It is so true that the first baby changes your life completely and the second baby transforms mommy, daddy and baby into a family.
My smallest is turning three in August and I am shocked at how fast it is all going! Thanks, Mom-101, for reminding to pay attention, even in the face of the frenzy of daily life!

5/12/08, 10:01 AM  
Anonymous chris said...

Happy Birthday, Sage!

5/12/08, 10:02 AM  
Anonymous Busy Mom said...

Happy Birthday, Sweetie!!

5/12/08, 10:24 AM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Weepy. All sorts of weepy now. *sniff*

I can't believe it's been a year. Happy Birthday Sage!

5/12/08, 10:39 AM  
Blogger AnotherMomCreation said...

That was such a beautiful tribute.

Hope you had a wonderful day yesterday!

5/12/08, 12:02 PM  
Blogger Kimber said...

That was the sweetest thing. What a beautiful babeh! Hope a great, fantabulous weekend was had by all. (Especially the sangrias! Yum!)

5/12/08, 12:15 PM  
Blogger Lady M said...

A whole year already! Happy Birthday, Sage. Beautiful post and adorable girl.

5/12/08, 12:51 PM  
OpenID theobvious said...

It is a privilege to be allowed a peek into love such as this. Happy Mother's Day and happy Birthday, Sage!

5/12/08, 3:18 PM  
Anonymous Y said...

Wow, that was fast.

What a beautiful post. What a beautiful girl. What a beautiful mama.

5/12/08, 4:31 PM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

*Sniff*... That was gorgeous. She is gorgeous. I cannot believe it's been a year, already. Wow.

5/12/08, 7:27 PM  
Blogger Julee said...

OK, so I have tears in my eyes...then, I read aloud to my seven year old (eldest) son the part about the first child makes you a mother and the second (in my case twin boys) transforms us into the family...wow...THAT was powerful...thanks.

5/12/08, 8:43 PM  
Blogger Susan Getgood said...

Happy Birthday Sage. Be a good Taurus and drive your parents crazy.

And oh I love that one pic of her in the towel. It is so wonderful.

5/12/08, 10:32 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

Who needs a baby book when you have this post? So lovely. Happy Birthday to your beautiful Sage.

"But I will always think of you in how you transformed us all into the family that we are."

Yes, what a perfect way to describe number 2.

5/13/08, 12:22 AM  
Blogger Krisco said...

She is so cute! And isn't it amazing how the second one is a completely different person than the first? Amazes me every day.

5/13/08, 12:34 AM  
Blogger Overwhelmed! said...

What a beautiful post! Sage is a pretty little girl.

That first birthday is a tough one, isn't it? My son's 1st birthday was particularly painful for me because, not only was my BABY turning one, but my husband insisted that he get his first haircut that day because he was tired of him being mistaken for a little girl because of his gorgeous ringlet curls!

Anyway, Happy 1st Birthday to little Sage. I love her name, by the way!

5/13/08, 1:04 AM  
Blogger ~Kat~ said...

Happy Birthday Gorgeous! (and Happy "Sage-iversary" Liz... from one "mom of Sage" to another)

5/13/08, 6:06 PM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

So beautiful. It's getting harder for me to remember PunditGirl as a toddler. She's so big and full of her own thoughts and worries now. I hope I can help her find the kind of confidence you talk about.

5/14/08, 10:01 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Happy Birthday, Sage, from my own almost three (!!!!) second-child Sage!

5/14/08, 11:31 AM  
Blogger Liz@thisfullhouse.com said...

Happy 1st Birthday, to the both of you!

5/14/08, 11:47 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

Please pass a tissue.....muchly needed....

Happy Birthday to a little sweetheart.

Happy birthing day to a great mom.

5/14/08, 7:43 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

What a beautiful tribute to your baby girl!

I was hoping my daughter would have her baby girl on Mothers Day (she is due today).

I cannot wait to take beautiful photos of my grandbaby and see her grow into a toddler.

You take amazing photos! They will treasure them when they are older.

5/15/08, 4:45 PM  
Blogger Carrcakes said...

Happy 1st Birthday Sadie and Happy One Year Birthing Day Anniversary to You!

I don't think I've ever seen a baby's eyes smile. You're doing something very right mama.

-Carolyn

5/16/08, 4:39 PM  
Blogger the new girl said...

That kid is double cute.

DOUBLE the ususal amount of cute, I'm saying.

5/17/08, 1:49 PM  
Blogger caramama said...

Happy birthday, Sage!!! You are so adorable!

5/20/08, 4:23 PM  
Blogger tracey clark said...

waaaaaaaaaaaah! such a lovely tribute. i'm all weepy now.

5/21/08, 4:16 PM  

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