11.10.2008

"When I'm a parent, I'll never be one of those people who...oh wait. Scratch that."


We've become Those Parents who trot our child out and ask her to perform for company.

God help us.

It starts innocently enough - Thalia likes singing the goodbye song from school. She likes showing company how many rhymes she can make. (Telelphone...delephone!) She likes the knock knock jokes.

The next thing you know, we have a roomful of brunch guests, with Thalia at the center of them all, showing them her Dancey Dance moves and reciting the Redskins fight song.

And here Nate and I are justifying it, oh look, our guests are charmed! They think it's great! They love our kids! Here we are not even contemplating for a moment that our friends are going to go walk out the door and before the elevator has reached the lobby, they're going to be grabbing each other and saying, "Did we really just spend our entire Sunday listening to a three year-old rhyme ball with mall then tell us all about how she poops by herself?"

I think you could say we're officially parents now. The plaque is on its way.


33 Comments:

Blogger Russ, Anna and Pepper said...

Ha Ha Ha!!!! Yes, we just received our plaque last week.

11/12/08, 8:36 AM  
Anonymous WaltzInExile said...

Wait'll you get the Karma Mom plaque that comes the first time you channel your own mother and her words - the ones you swore you'd never say to YOUR kids - come flying out of your mouth. Mine's hanging on the wall in the kitchen.

11/12/08, 9:15 AM  
Blogger natasha said...

I have LOTS of those plaques.

Especially the ones that involve letting toddlers watch TV and listening to, oh GOD, children's music. Shudders.

Never thought I'd be doing either of those...

11/12/08, 9:25 AM  
Blogger SuZ said...

Ha.... I love those moments.

11/12/08, 9:36 AM  
Blogger Summer Saldana said...

You mean people don't just die for those moments with our kids? Really?

Oh shoot...

11/12/08, 10:47 AM  
Anonymous Johnathan said...

I misread at first. I thought you had written "The plague is on its way", indicating that you considered your official parenthood to be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

11/12/08, 11:31 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Johnathan, that fits too.

11/12/08, 11:52 AM  
Blogger Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Oh yes, we do this too. And I don't care if people don't like it cause I think it's just fabulous!

11/12/08, 12:31 PM  
Blogger Lynette said...

mine liked to sing I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas...I'm sure joy was leaking from the eye of every guest. LOL

11/12/08, 1:04 PM  
Blogger Tracey said...

Hey, for what it's worth, I would have TOTALLY enjoyed watching her perform. 3 year olds rock.

11/12/08, 1:25 PM  
Blogger Elaine A. said...

I remember this stage with my older son. His father taught him all kinds of things to say and do that HE thought was funny & would then make him "show off" in front of our family & friends. I am sure my younger son is destined for the same fate...

11/12/08, 1:33 PM  
Blogger Lasha said...

I used to tell people "She's not a monkey!" when they tried to get my daughter to do something, but now that she's actually saying words I'm the one saying, "What's on Mama's shirt? An owwll!? That's right! Did you hear that?"

11/12/08, 1:49 PM  
Anonymous MetroDad said...

Be careful, Liz. There's fine line between parading the kids around at cocktail parties and becoming the next Lynne Spears!

FYI...I'm sure your guests would be much more amused by the outfits you and the Mister were wearing on Saturday night!

11/12/08, 2:31 PM  
Blogger Mr Lady said...

I find that cleverly placed swear words in the mouths of 3 year old are ALWAYS crowd pleasers.

11/12/08, 3:37 PM  
Blogger Issas Crazy World said...

Oh shit. I think we're those parents too.

I remember thinking to myself, I'm never going to be one of those moms who walks around for hours without noticing the spit-up on her outfit. Yeah..I'm that mom now too.

11/12/08, 4:13 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

when you are done with the plague and had your name engraved, send it this way (I should be shunned by my friends, totally shunned for the dog and pony we do).

11/12/08, 6:10 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

omg - I said "plague".

11/12/08, 6:12 PM  
Blogger doow said...

Johnathan had me scroll back up. I thought it was plague too.

I remember having to sing "Away in a Manger" to some relatives at home because I was going to be the head angel in the nativity at school. It would have been a perfect chance to show off, had I not completely forgotten the words.

11/12/08, 6:22 PM  
Anonymous The Yummy Mummy Cooks Gourmet said...

OMG! I am so one of those parents now!

My husband is producing a Broadway show for the Christmas holiday and Lucy could easily be in the finale and I have been secretly "encouraging" her for the last couple of months to get her ready to make her "Broadway debut". (When I say, "Broadway debut" I make the jazz hands.) I'm afraid I might become one of those stage moms that end up on Sally Jesse Raphael.

Seriously, stop me before I start dragging her to auditions and making her wear lip gloss to preschool.

Kim

11/12/08, 7:43 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

I'm certain she's absolutely charming. But I have three performance artists of my own who keep me captivated, so I might be a bit biased in favor of kiddie-tertainment.

11/13/08, 12:18 AM  
Blogger Lady M said...

I'm sure the guests are totally charmed. It only gets bad when you start having her play full length concertos while everyone waits for brunch.

11/13/08, 12:52 AM  
Anonymous Alexis said...

Yeah, it's impossible to resist--we swore that we'd never have our children be performing monkeys, but we do. Can't be helped. Maybe people with dull and uninteresting children can refrain?

11/13/08, 3:19 PM  
Blogger mpotter said...

i'm terrified & quite sure i'll be falling into this.
she's 4mos old, and when gramma & grampa come over, i'm all "smile! c'mon... smile"

oh god.

11/13/08, 3:23 PM  
Blogger help4newmoms said...

Hey, at least you didn't make your guests watch videos. A live performance is always better.

11/13/08, 3:51 PM  
Anonymous anita doberman said...

Yes, mamma mia (as we say in Italy!)
:)

11/13/08, 9:11 PM  
Blogger yes, i am the real mom said...

whoops....i suppose teaching my son my college fight song (Purdue) and having him raise his hands at the end falls into this category???

Is it really our fault as parents that they are so darn cute?

11/13/08, 11:08 PM  
Anonymous Liz@thisfullhouse said...

Heh, wait until your kids get older and expect you to, you know, start paying for ALL that entertainment ;o)

11/15/08, 11:15 AM  
Blogger Daisy said...

ROTF!! Oh, yes, they're probably saying, "Let's come over next time after the kid's in bed, not before."

11/15/08, 8:05 PM  
Blogger Overwhelmed! said...

Too funny! Our son (almost 4) has always been rather shy but our 21 month old foster daughter is quite gregarious and has no problems showing perfect strangers how she can "shake her booty" when we turn the music on.

I'm sure our friends laugh with us just to be kind. :)

11/18/08, 1:29 AM  
Anonymous DallasCowboyFan said...

Your daughter sings the Redskins fight song?
You should be reported.

11/18/08, 1:30 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Dallas Cowboys Fan - You and my brother would have a lot to talk about. Or wait, maybe you're he?

11/18/08, 7:52 AM  
Blogger caramama said...

I was about to write "Who wouldn't love to hear the Redskins fight song?" Then I read DallasCowboyFan's comment. So far, we've taught the Pumpkin to say "Go Redskins!" and hubby is working on the fight song. We think it's adorable. ;-)

When I try to get our 20 month old to do or say things for other people, I always add, "Dance, monkey, dance!"

11/24/08, 4:29 PM  
Blogger laurah_082000 said...

my mom refers to my two year old daughter as Mommy's little puppet!! I look at it this way.... I made her and i can screw her up if i wanna!!! If you come to my house it is just required you will have to see her use her finger as a microphone and sing Islands in the stream!!!

11/25/08, 12:06 PM  

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