Wishful thinking

I just want to live in a home where I am not outnumbered 3:1 by beings who yet have the ability to wipe their own asses.

Is that so much to ask?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daughter just turned 4, and I managed to convince her that 4-year-olds wipe their own butts. I am beyond ecstatic that she's bought into it. One down, baby!

3/8/09, 1:20 AM  
Blogger Two Beautiful Girls Mommy said...

I feel your pain. I am not sure if it ever changes though. I would love to not be out numbered by people who can't pick up after themselves!

3/8/09, 1:24 AM  
Blogger paperfairies said...

I know! Not only am I outnumbered 3-1 by mess makers, they're all MALE.

3/8/09, 1:40 AM  
Blogger MrsEmbers said...

I guess I'm lucky- with my husband and 2 kids, we have a 1:1 ratio of diaper-wearers to non-diaper-wearers.

Good luck with that...

3/8/09, 7:03 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

@Two Beautiful Girls Mommy

Oh, but if they were all people maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

3/8/09, 8:14 AM  
Anonymous Deborah Quinn said...

My four-year old cannot wipe his own butt yet. Or perhaps he can but he prefers my delicate touch. The eight-year-old has had diarhhea for three days and refuses to deal with the aftermath. I know there are bigger problems in the world but at the moment, all I want is to have a few hours where I am NOT asked to scrutinize someone's small butt.

3/8/09, 10:06 AM  
Anonymous Motherhood Uncensored said...

Tell Nate to get self dispensing wet wipes. Those work really well.

3/8/09, 10:32 AM  
Anonymous mrs. q. said...

But isn't it great to feel needed?


Lucas still gets help. He started going on his own. But then one day when I went into the bathroom, there was a small brown spot on the floor. Did someone drop poop on the floor? It was a 'chocolate' kiss imprinted by L's bum when he sat on the floor to put on his pants. Blurrrrgh.

3/8/09, 11:14 AM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

What MU said. I'm really hoping that #3 is the dog, and not that Nate has broken both of his arms.

3/8/09, 1:45 PM  
Blogger The Mother said...

All you have to do is manage to live long enough until they move out. Then you'll only have to deal with your husband's aging complaints.

Sending a kid off to college is THE most rewarding day of a mom's life.

Sending the LAST kid off to college--that's the day you break out a bottle of Dom Perignon and live it up!

3/8/09, 2:25 PM  
Blogger erin said...

Please tell me one of the 3 is not Nate :)

3/8/09, 2:50 PM  
Blogger katesmama said...

mrs Q I am CRYING over here re: chocolate kiss - thanks for the laugh!

3/8/09, 3:08 PM  
Blogger Lara said...

I so needed to giggle today!

3/8/09, 5:33 PM  
Anonymous Alexis said...

If only my people would flush the damn toilet after they poop and not use the entire roll of toilet paper in one go!

3/8/09, 5:54 PM  
Blogger Fiona said...

LOL I'm so glad to be done with that!

3/8/09, 6:18 PM  
Blogger Breathe said...

I no longer hear the scream suddenly piercing the calm of the house "MOMMY! WIPE!"

I love my life. And I've got two more years before I'll send the oldest to the convent. Times are good.

3/8/09, 10:36 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

I think that's the concussion talking.

3/9/09, 7:25 AM  
Blogger Wicked Step Mom said...

Oh yeah, it is way too much to ask... at least for now.

I am so glad the girls are out of diapers.

3/9/09, 8:18 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

You are channeling my husband with this post!

3/9/09, 11:42 AM  
Anonymous Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said...

3:1 LOL!!!

Poor Nate.

Good luck with that!

3/9/09, 12:09 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

3 to 1? Don't you have two kids? Who's the other butt you're wiping?

3/9/09, 1:37 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Well if you're going to set your expectations that high, you're bound to be disappointed! ;)

3/9/09, 3:42 PM  
Anonymous bridget in oregon said...

My Six Word Memoir on Motherhood was:

And the crap just kept coming.

Thankfully, with kids at 9 and 11, we are passed that. I hope we make it through their menses with more success.

3/9/09, 8:05 PM  
Anonymous anita ovolina said...

No, not too much to ask, but we do find joy in the little things ...

3/10/09, 12:04 AM  
Anonymous Elaine said...

For two years, I lived in an apartment which the four-year-old next door thought was his house. Apparently, he'd been close friends with the person who lived in that apartment before me. So this freaky-four-year-old would come over almost daily, use my bathroom, then scream, "WIPE MY BUTT!" Every time, I went to fetch his parents. Every time, I swore I'd lock my door.

All my friends thought this was a hilarious story.

Eventually I moved out. It was a gorgeous apartment, steps from the beach and semi-affordable, but the kid and his parents were far too irritating. Now I live a mile from the beach and pay way too much, but it's quiet.

Then I had a kid of my own. What was I thinking?

3/10/09, 12:30 AM  
Blogger Bobita~ said...

This very morning (as I wiped my baby's cute, dimpled, STANKY backyard) I actually calculated that I have spent the last 7.5 YEARS wiping asses.

I believe I have served my time. Just puttin' that out there.

3/10/09, 12:55 AM  
Blogger Trenches of Mommyhood said...

'Tis a magical day when this phenomenon occurs, trust me. I swear I heard angels singing.

3/10/09, 10:52 AM  
Blogger Mom on the Run said...

I agree the wiping issue is very taxing. Somehow -- perhaps I don't remember -- my older girls did not have a problem. My son on the oter hand is still not wiping properly. It's better since now at least he uses toilet paper, but still aggravating to have stained underwear. He's 5 and really needs to get a grip.

3/10/09, 3:51 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Have Chorizo and Pipi lost their luster or just missed the box? :P

3/10/09, 10:39 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Oh Sarah,

let's just say chronic diarrhea and parasites and did I mention the chronic diarrhea?

Seriously. Am done with all matters fecal.

3/10/09, 10:40 PM  
Anonymous Frogdancer said...

I was outnumbered 4:1.

Now they bring me coffees and wine and help with the housework. (Well, sometimes, especially if I get operatic...)
I just had to wait till the oldest was 17 and the youngest was 12.

3/12/09, 3:56 PM  

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