The Fifth Annual Morning After Oscars Recap
The Oh No She Di-int Award: To Cameron Diaz who explained to Ryan Seacrest that she arrived late so that she "wouldn't have to talk to anyone."
The Johnny Weir Costume Award: Neil Patrick Harris sporting sequins.
The Robyn Byrd Costume Award: Miley Cyrus sporting bikini strap marks with a strapless dress.
Most Likely to be Mistaken For Bubble Wrap, Packed in a Cardboard Box, and Shipped Back to Pier One: Jennifer Lopez.
The James Cameron Commemorative Humility Award, Runner Up: Costume Designer, Sandy "I already have two of these" Powell
The James Cameron Commemorative Humility Award: James Cameron
Most Likely to Make Every Gen X-er in the Audience Run to Facebook and Start Emailing Their High School Friends: The John Hughes tribute
Best Method Audition for the Upcoming Cabbage Patch Boobs Biopic: Charlize Theron
Best Ever Delivery of the Line, I'm here to present the award for best makeup: Ben Stiller
Best Parody of an Interpretive Break Dance Number: The Interpretive break dance number.
Best Achievement in Comedy: "Nicolas Schmerkin"
Biggest Achievement in D'Oh: Leaving Farrah Fawcett out of the dead people tribute. They include Michael Jackson as an actor but not Farrah Fawcett? Not even Farrah Fawcett's hair?
Best Actor Accepting the Wrong Oscar Award: Jeff Bridges who I think gave The Big Lebowski acceptance speech.
The Reality TV Distinguished Alumni Award: Mo'Nique, Flavor of Love Charm School host turned Oscar winner.
Best Actor in a Real Life Drama: George Clooney who played a depressed, brooding guy all night.
The Dorian Gray Award: Demi Moore. No plastic surgery? Really? Dammit. Runner Up: Sigourney Weaver.
(h/t Alpha Mom)
The Bigger Wanker Than Even John Mayer Award: Comcast
Biggest Upset: Katherine Bigelow, who may have inspired more jealousy from Barbra Streisand than from James Cameron.
Biggest Loss of the Night: Me, having seen none of the the nominees besides The Princess and the Frog and A Serious Man, which I'm still not entirely sure I understand. I'd like to thank the Academy, and motherhood.
[photos: e online]
Oscar Recap 2009
Oscar Recap 2008
Oscar Recap 2007
Oscar Recap 2006