The volcano thing? All my fault.

Dear Travelers,

I must apologize, for it is I who caused the eruption of the Frjeosoyzxxxhjorn volcano.

You see, going back to the 90s, I have always had an international travel jinx. While my many advertising colleagues have enjoyed meetings in Toronto, commercial shoots in Portugal, focus groups in Argentina, award show judging in the south of France, and miscellaneous conferences across Europe, I have never once employed a passport on company business.

The shoot would be canceled at the last minute, the client would leave, the project would be pulled - you name it. If there was even a chance of me getting out of the country on someone else's dime you could pretty much guarantee that it would go away.

It became a joke at my offices: Oh wait, Liz is going on that trip? Not gonna happen.

But this time, this was different.

This time our shoot was scheduled for Prague. Our airline tickets booked. Our hotels secured, and our dinner reservations confirmed. And of course, my child care for the next 8 days covered as Nate beg his chefs for daytime hours, grandparents step up, and sitters agree to take on the noon to midnight shifts. I grappled with the leaving the kids for a week thing, came to terms with it, and even allowed myself to start getting excited.

We fly out tomorrow.

Or not.

Probably not.

Because I made the Fjyhssfollnuuplxxyk volcano happen.

So really, to everyone who's been stranded away from their families or their work, or God forbid stuck in Newark for the last several days: I have to step up and take the blame.

I'm terribly, terribly sorry.


Blogger Mommaspearls said...

Hillarious! Please keep us all apprised of your travel itinerary so we can go the way opposite direction. :)

4/19/10, 8:21 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

I'm glad that you stepped up and took responsibility. So refreshing in this day and age.

4/19/10, 8:22 AM  
Blogger Banteringblonde said...

Oh my! Here's the thing, if you aren't able to travel I say pretend you are and at least hide in the garage together for a few days.

4/19/10, 8:24 AM  
Anonymous red pen mama said...

There are a few European airlines who would like to have a word with you.

4/19/10, 8:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mom,

Actually some of our crack scientists have already determined that global warming is responsible for increased volcanic activity, so maybe you can beat the rap on this one.

4/19/10, 8:46 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

What? No! But global warming is a propaganda tool of those lying liberal darwinian types!

4/19/10, 8:53 AM  
Anonymous Hi, I'm Natalie. said...

I thought it was because of healthcare reform. You and Rush should really get your stories straight.

4/19/10, 9:07 AM  
Anonymous From Belgium said...

So, you are responsible for the fact that my parents are now stuck in Oezbekistan (not a joke people, not a joke! Yes, my parents chose to vacation there, yes my parents are at wee bit weird). If I could get on plane right now you would be in soooo much trouble...

4/19/10, 9:10 AM  
Blogger Mahlers On Safari said...

Well... now at least I know.

Prague, huh? Damn. Using a soundstage instead?

4/19/10, 9:14 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

That is so funny! I really hope you get to go tomorrow. That sounds amazing.

4/19/10, 9:14 AM  
Blogger tara said...

I've yet to hear anyone pronounce the name of that volcano (probably because I tend to read my news) but I think I would have given money to see/hear some of the first on-air reports.

I hope you get to go.

4/19/10, 9:28 AM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

We've become bored with watching actors give us phony emotions. We are tired of pyrotechnics and special effects. While the world she inhabits is, in some respects, counterfeit, there's nothing fake about Liz herself. No scripts, no cue cards. It isn't always Shakespeare, but it's genuine. It's a life.

(But, seriously- I really hope you get to go!)

4/19/10, 9:36 AM  
Blogger C (Kid Things) said...

I'm sorry. But it is funny. In related news, I spent 20 minutes trying to pronounce the name of that volcano over the weekend. Still can't do it. I've since taken to calling it Fred. Much better.

4/19/10, 9:41 AM  
Anonymous Marci said...

What rotten luck. Here's hoping that you still get to go.

4/19/10, 9:54 AM  
Anonymous Rita Arens said...

Oh, no!

4/19/10, 9:54 AM  
Blogger AlyGatr said...

I have the same effect on the weather whenever I move to a new place. I've been responsible for the worst two winters in 100 years AND the flooding of the Red River in North Dakota and the longest heat wave in recent Texas history...and a drought. I'm surprised people don't up and move when I move into the neighborhood. Oh yes...and then there was the house four doors down that got hit by lightning last summer. Oops.

4/19/10, 11:18 AM  
Blogger Amy B. said...

As a response to tara, I actually heard the volcano's name pronounced (on NPR, by an Icelandic native) on Friday before I ever saw it spelled, and I gotta say, the one has absolutely nothing to do with the other. It is utterly unpronounceable, whether you have heard it or seen it. Fred is an acceptable alternative.

4/19/10, 12:02 PM  
Anonymous joy smith said...

That was so funny!!
I was laughing so hard at that.

4/19/10, 12:05 PM  
Anonymous momtrolfreak said...

I would like to echo Marinka's kudos to you for stepping up and taking responsbility. When are you going into rehab? I hope you don't lose your endorsements.

4/19/10, 12:29 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

I knew a mommy blogger had to be behind this.

Once you finish cursing me, I really do hope that you get to go.

4/19/10, 12:36 PM  
Blogger Mama Cas said...

That's hysterical. I'm glad to see someone else has a "jinx." Mine is rain. If I plan a backyard BBQ, IT WILL RAIN. Perhaps I could put this power to use by visiting some drought-stricken area and planning a GIANT, super-expensive, non-re-scheduleable, outdoor event.

4/19/10, 1:37 PM  
Anonymous Stacia said...

What's Prague in the spring without a little ash to breathe in? Consider it an appetizer for the pilsner. (Hope the trip works out.)

4/19/10, 3:58 PM  
Anonymous NotJustAnotherJen said...

I always knew that you were a strong and powerful woman, but I had no idea the extent of your super powers. cool. I know who to call when I need help with world domination.

4/19/10, 4:32 PM  
Anonymous dusty earth mother said...

I live near Newark and can hear the wails of despair from here. Shame on you.

But in all seriousness, the minute I saw the title of your post, I said, "Oh no! Prague!" My lower lip is stuck out for you...

4/19/10, 9:09 PM  
Blogger Ericka said...

huh. i also have this travel curse. things just happen and i'm sorry to those unfortunate enough to be near me. we must never try to travel together.

hope it all works out!

4/20/10, 12:27 AM  
Anonymous WarsawMommy said...


Huh. Your powers are astounding... do they also make 'snow days' happen when you want a day off work?

4/20/10, 4:17 AM  
Blogger Meemo said...

Sitting at work with not much to do. Thanks to you, I suppose. No really, thanks. It's been kinda nice, but it can't go on this way. Please fix it soon.

We deal with the international airline community and with no flights, there's not much work.

4/20/10, 7:05 AM  
Blogger Liz@thisfullhouse said...

Safe travels and looking forward to pics of my great-grandmother's homeland...laced with volcanic ash, or no.

4/20/10, 12:40 PM  
Blogger Emma said...

Oh dear.....sounds like my business trips too :-(

4/20/10, 3:53 PM  
Blogger just making my way said...

That's some serious power you're yeilding. Hope you tone it down enough to get to go on your trip!

4/20/10, 6:35 PM  
Anonymous Kami said...

oh how embarrassing for you, Liz. But don't forget. You totally got to go to Spain. With Nate. For free. (right?) With no international fallout. Shit. Did I just burst your hypothesis?

4/20/10, 8:33 PM  
Blogger Table4Five said...

I KNEW it wasn't global warming that caused that volcano to erupt! Crossing my fingers and toes that you actually make it to Prague because it just sounds like such a cool place.

BTW, "Frjeosoyzxxxhjorn" is pronounced "Fer yo SOY zix horn", right?

4/21/10, 11:36 AM  
Blogger anon1 said...


let's hope someone out there has an opposite curse so you'll be able to go.

just think, a little ol' icelandic lady is writing in her blog right now that everytime she opens her windows on an april evening, all odd-weather-related flight cancellations then become, well, cancelled themselves.

so, lady- go open your windows.
prague sounds awesome!

4/21/10, 2:26 PM  
Blogger Aging Mommy said...

Sorry it was not your fault at all but mine!! You see every time my husband plans a business trip to Europe I get sick, usually just after his outward flight clears the runway like last June when I went down with the flu the evening he left. We have no family living here so that means I have to somehow crawl out of bed as the living dead and deal with our toddler daughter. Anyway, the volcanic eruption in Iceland was a gift to me, because it meant my husband did not get to fly off to Germany on Sunday, because Sunday night I went down with stomach flu and this time took to my bed as he was here to look after our daughter!! So blame me!

4/21/10, 7:05 PM  
Blogger the weirdgirl said...

Sounds like a gift to me! Can I call you next time I'm forced to go to a family event?

4/22/10, 12:43 PM  
OpenID Summer Embee said...

I, too, am a travel curse, but I only bring floods. 2004 tsunami? Caused by my honeymoon. New Orleans? Yup, me. I was just in Los Angeles, so I hope they've got their rain gear out.

4/26/10, 4:58 PM  

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