The logic of the 3 year old

Substitute all Ls and Rs for W's for the full effect.

I want someone to sleep with me.
Thalia can sleep with you, Sage.
I want someone tall to sleep with me.
Thalia is taller than you.
I want someone who is the same tall as you to sleep with me.

No, you can't have a cookie. Remember, you didn't finish your breakfast so no snacks. 
But the cookie is not my snack. It can be my lunch.

We're playing orphan.
What's an orphan?
Someone with no mommy and no daddy and no house.

I really need a Band Aid.
What do you need a Band Aid for?
For this cut I have.
That's not a cut, Sage. There's no cut there.
Yes, it's red and it's bleeding. You said if it's red and it's bleeding it's a cut.
Well, I'm looking and I don't see red or bleeding. 
It's bleeding on the inside.

I want to sit in the front seat of the car.
You have to sit in the back, Sage. 
But I want to drive.
You need to sit in your seat. Anyway, your feet can't touch the pedals.
I will use my hands.

Can I have French fries for dinner?
No honey, you had them with lunch. 
But that wasn't on this day.
Yes. Yes it was. It was today at lunchtime, remember?
But it wasn't in a cup. Can I have French fries in a cup?
No, you can't have them at all. You already had some today.
But...but I can't feel them anymore.

Want me to kiss your boo-boo and make it better?
No because it doesn't hurt now so don't kiss it or it will make it hurt.

Finish your sandwich please.
I am not hungry.
That's fine, but no ice cream.
I am only hungry for ice cream.


Anonymous From Belgium said...

When I was three I once told my parents and several of their friends that my doll had 'Malaria on his testicles' during a dinner party. (we were living in Africa at the time, hence the Malaria and I obviously had no idea what testicles were since it was a girl doll)
They must have had a really really hard time not laughing.

6/1/10, 8:00 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I don't write these things down nearly enough! Thank you for the reminder and for the laugh this morning.

6/1/10, 8:58 AM  
Anonymous Lanita @ A Mother's Hood said...

When my daughter was 3 she told me "thunder doesn't make noise when it drinks wine." Hmmm, wonder how she came up with that.

6/1/10, 9:13 AM  
Anonymous Lanita @ A Mother's Hood said...

When my daughter was 3 she told me "thunder doesn't make noise when it drinks wine." Hmmm, wonder how she came up with that.

6/1/10, 9:13 AM  
Blogger Motherhood Uncensored said...

You could cut and paste this and make it "The Logic of an 18 year old" and I'm guessing no one would know the difference.

6/1/10, 9:40 AM  
Anonymous Boston Mamas said...

If Sage is anything like Laurel, you'll be hearing the "I want someone to sleep with me" for a looooong time.

(Says the mom who currently has a 5.75 year old camped out on an air mattress at the foot of her bed...)

6/1/10, 9:42 AM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

I love her.

6/1/10, 9:46 AM  
Blogger moosh in indy. said...

She's a brilliant little nugget.

Good job (and good luck.)

6/1/10, 9:51 AM  
Blogger Adventures In Babywearing said...

We go thru bandaids like water. And I don't even remember the last time they were needed for something like an actual cut or scrape.

She sounds like a fun one. :)


6/1/10, 10:15 AM  
Anonymous Steph said...

I so love 3-year-old logic!! I deal with it all day long and there is just nothing better.

6/1/10, 10:16 AM  
Anonymous Auntie Fred said...

Loved these....brought me back in time when I use to write down "Lanerisms"...Momsie, what if you die in the middle of a blink, are your eyes open or shut? Wonderful post.

6/1/10, 10:16 AM  
Blogger Marketing Mommy said...

Don't you know small children have an extra stomach that's just for dessert?

6/1/10, 10:37 AM  
Anonymous Laura said...

She has the same logic as My 3yo. They would get along fabulously!

6/1/10, 10:53 AM  
Blogger Liz@thisfullhouse said...

Now, I'm hungry for ice cream AND I think I need a bandaid, for my heart, because I'm all of a sudden missing having to replace r's and l's with w's, too :(

6/1/10, 11:37 AM  
Anonymous Kami said...

I like the one about the fries best. When I can't feel them, I sure want more too!

6/1/10, 12:19 PM  
Blogger J at www.jellyjules.com said...

I love this. Love it. She clearly needs more french fries and ice cream in her diet, and far fewer sandwiches. ;)

6/1/10, 12:37 PM  
Blogger Truett said...

When I was sometime around that age I apparently told my mom, when she was all dolled up for a night out, that she looked just like a barbie. she says its the best compliment she's ever recieved

6/1/10, 12:49 PM  
Blogger Issas Crazy World said...

I loved three. It's tiring, but I loved it.

Sage is awesome. Just pure awesome.

6/1/10, 1:17 PM  
Blogger Mahlers On Safari said...

Adorable! (Substitute French accent for American accent for full effect.)

6/1/10, 2:11 PM  
Anonymous Bryony Boxer said...

My favorite: "But I can't feel them anymore." Totally makes sense!

6/1/10, 2:46 PM  
Blogger Jessica {Team Rasler} said...

I, too, am often hungry only for ice cream. I guess some bits of logic we don't outgrow!

6/1/10, 3:57 PM  
Anonymous mojo said...

As always, you can make me laugh at work when I shouldn't be. Sounds so much like my 3 yo, they have their own kind of wisdom, that's for sure!

6/1/10, 4:29 PM  
Blogger Annie Pazoo said...

So adorable. I miss that. 12-year-olds just don't say the same cute things, ya know? (Smartass is more like it) Although they still have the same fondness for French fries and cookies ...

6/1/10, 7:22 PM  
Anonymous Shannon @ nwaMotherlode said...

Don't you wish you could read the things you said at age 3? This will be precious to her later.

6/1/10, 8:42 PM  
Anonymous dusty earth mother said...

This was hilarious.

But I have to be careful not to laugh too much or I might bleed on the inside.

6/1/10, 10:04 PM  
Blogger Melba said...

I've had the same conversation with my almost-3 year old about driving, except that she accepted my explanation that she can't reach the pedals.... ohhhh, ok mommy, you can drive then. I've also had the "i'm only hungry for ice cream" conversation with her many times, the latest being this past weekend. :)

6/1/10, 11:28 PM  
Blogger Sue said...


I like the cookie for lunch the most, I think.

Three year olds are great fun. My husband calls me up at work now and then (he works from home so our son stays with him all day) because Rahul's come up with something that just begs a wider audience!

6/1/10, 11:41 PM  
Blogger jwg said...

If she's like this at 3 thirteen should be really interesting! Hope you are still blogging so we can all enjoy it!

6/2/10, 7:29 AM  
Blogger Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

Clearly, she is as charming and as gifted at making her case as her mother ;-) Ai, I rue the day when I recognize myself in my daughters... oh wait, I already have. Shit.

6/2/10, 12:29 PM  
Blogger Momma Hunt said...

I love it, we have that type of thinking in our house

6/2/10, 1:04 PM  
Blogger RookieMom Whitney said...

Most of her logic is very good! I laughed most at the first story because my nearly 3-year old is exactly like that.

And I myself am usually only hungry for ice cream.

6/2/10, 5:07 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

(I also went ahead and took the liberty of pronouncing all of the "th" sounds as "f" sounds.

Hope you're okay with that.)

6/2/10, 8:02 PM  
Blogger Bramble said...

When my Squiblet stops saying "otay" for "okay" I shall weep. And the fact that "lemonade" comes out "memmalade" just makes me giggle...whatever will I do when he learns to speak clearly? I wiww juss hab to mate up fo it mysewf!! (I'm not nearly so cute, though).

6/2/10, 10:17 PM  
Blogger Boy Crazy said...

I can't feel my french fries anymore. Good god is she cute. (such a great age.)

I love that you snagged these little gems and filed them away for posterity. Lovely.


6/2/10, 11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In all honesty, I am frequently only hungry for ice cream myself.

6/2/10, 11:30 PM  
Anonymous Alexis said...


6/3/10, 12:09 PM  
Blogger sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

My 3yo says "I want a friend to sleep with me." Scares me that this will be his pick up line in years to come.

I totally understand being hungry for ice cream but not a sandwich.

6/3/10, 1:22 PM  
Anonymous 6512 and growing said...

It might be time to start her application for law school; she almost had me on the french fry defense.

6/3/10, 3:43 PM  
Anonymous 6512 and growing said...

Oh, and when i told my three year old daughter it was time to pee she told me "But I peed last year."

6/3/10, 3:44 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

When my now-almost-six-year-old was about Sage's age, and wanted ice cream for dessert even though she had just finished telling us she was really full, rationalized it by saying that ice cream melts when you eat it, so it runs down into any of the little spaces that are left after you eat
your food. Hard to argue with that logic!

6/3/10, 4:14 PM  
Blogger Elaine A. said...

I'm only hungry for ice cream too. But alas, my figure doesn't let it be so... ;)

These are so cute! I love what kids say.

6/4/10, 9:40 AM  
Anonymous Annie @ PhD in Parenting said...

This sounds awfully familiar. And my 3 year old has a 5 year old lawyer to step in with supplementary arguments that benefit both him and his client.

6/6/10, 7:58 AM  
Blogger mrs.notouching said...

Sage and I could totally be BFFs.

6/7/10, 4:05 PM  
Anonymous Deano @ Funny Things Kids Say said...

These are great, it's such a precious time. our youngest is 2 1/2 so I can relate to the age. I would love to republish some of these with credits of course at our Funny Things Kids Say blog.

6/9/10, 10:50 AM  
Anonymous HunterandJade.com Blog for Kids said...

So cute.

6/9/10, 8:17 PM  
Anonymous Gus Delgado said...

i feel relieved and all mushy inside after reading this.

7/1/10, 6:55 PM  

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