A Tribute to Joey Pants (And a Cute Baby)

Oh, Joey.
Joey Joey Joey Joey.

You cannot imagine how much you have heightened an otherwise mediocre hotel stay, merely by the fact that this is your room.

When I first pushed through the door and spotted the disco-era bedspread and Thomas Kinkaid art, I thought well, not my style but if it's good enough for Joe Pantoliano...

When I unwrapped the smells-like-movie-theater-bathroom-air-freshener soap I thought, well, it's no Aveda but if it's good enough for Joe Pantoliano...

When, starving, I ordered a hearty plate of mac and cheese and it arrived in a thimble, I thought, well, I'll probably go to bed hungry but if it's good enough for Joe Pantoliano...

When I had to interrupt the valet's personal cell phone call--twice--to ask whether I might get my car sometime before the November elections, I thought, well, I usually don't like waiting twenty minutes for my car when I'm the only guest standing here, but if it's good enough for Joe Pantoliano...

And when I was awakened at 5 am by the chirping aviary outside my window, the sounds of which were deadened only by the construction in pretty much every other room in this wing besides mine, I thought, well, I normally like sleeping a wee bit later but if it's good enough for Joe Pantoliano...

Oh, Joey. Sweet, wonderful Joey. Until now, you were just Guido the Killer Pimp. Teddie from Memento. Ralphie. Ralphie's head. But now? So much more.

We will always have room 303.

Hello, Mama? Hi it's me! If you come home tomorrow, I promise to do more cute things so that you have funny material to write about instead of just complaining about your hotel room...Okay...see you then...oh, and while I've got you on the line, would you mind stopping by Fred Segal and picking me up one of those $110 pair of baby jeans with the...no? Oh okay.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


or, mento?

wait, which was the thing I liked...grr!

- Jon
- Daddy Detective
- www.daddydetective.com

4/26/06, 8:57 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Good grief! Thank goodness you're not the one paying for this. But I wonder how much the company is paying these idiots to provide such, um, service?

4/26/06, 9:04 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

This gave me such a giggle when I really needed it this morning. Thank you! Give my regards to Joey, and Hollywood, too.

4/26/06, 9:23 AM  
Blogger Wendy Boucher said...

Someday they'll be calling it the room Mom-101 stayed in. Make your mark, Sister!

4/26/06, 9:34 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

Thank god for Joey. Hope you get better digs next time. Thalia is as cute as ever

4/26/06, 10:00 AM  
Blogger gingajoy said...

MAN, i take my hat off to you lady. (and to joey). hope today is productive and that you get back to that T as soon as poss.

4/26/06, 10:08 AM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

I hope they at least washed the sheets.

4/26/06, 10:13 AM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

Wow, it sounds like a wonderful establishment you're staying at. At least there's Joey.

4/26/06, 10:18 AM  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

I'm wondering what exactly happened in there last night.

Wait. I don't want to know.

4/26/06, 10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, but joe also played cypher... and we all know what a jerk that guy was, so, y'know... you're screwed. oh well, a corporate rate still beats a sharp stick in the eye, right? (but then, you're in those hot gucci shades right now, aren't ya...)

LA is glamour personified... don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

4/26/06, 10:29 AM  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

I don't know if Guido would be enough to pull me through it. Good luck getting back to Thalia.

4/26/06, 10:47 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Here's hoping you get back home, and quick! Clink. (the sound of the complimentary drink I just handed you)

4/26/06, 10:50 AM  
Blogger ms blue said...

Hmmm, no to the expensive jeans. You're not spoiling that gorgeous girl? How about a snow globe from the airport?

I love Thalia's sweater. I can't get enough grown up sweaters on babies. It's too cute.

4/26/06, 11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sure your company would not put a client up in this ****hole of a hotel. So why would they do this to an employee? Not a really conducive place to get you psyched to do great work for them. But the bean counters don't put a dollar amount on lost productivity, because it isn't out of pocket. You should be earning hardship pay for staying there, Joe or no.

4/26/06, 12:31 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Awww. Your little one is so beautiful. Love the photo.

4/26/06, 11:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh My God! "Arrived in a thimble"? I am laughing out loud. Room service can seriously stink sometimes!

4/27/06, 1:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that guy will forever equal Ralphie's head to me. The risk of doing a decaptitation scene I guess. Go figure.

4/29/06, 10:34 AM  

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