4.14.2006

See if You Can Tell What These Things Have in Common*

1. I hate milk in my cereal. Hate it. Yuck. Get it away from me.

2. I have been in three commercials: At 16 I was cast in an ad for Orajel Brace-Aid where I smiled for the camera and revealed a full set of railroad tracks on the pearly off-whites. They made me wear an ugly blue crew-neck sweater and (gasp) a collar, and I was mortified by the wardrobe. But it was fun to be at house parties (just called "parties" back then) when I came on TV. In my second advertising job, I was filmed shooting flaming arrows at a Chinet paper plate after our model called in sick, but only from the chin down. A few years ago, Frankenstein painted my toenails in a close-up for a Universal Orlando Resort ad, when our talent turned out to have long, gnarly, creepy feet.
(Notice a pattern here, by the way? The older I get, the less of me they show. In a couple years I'll be like, "hey, you can see a microscopic closeup of my clogged pore in this Bioré spot!")

3. I speak a little Bosnia. And that's pretty much what I can say: I speak a little Bosnian, in Bosnian. Also, a really bad insult that pretty much translates to Go back to your mother's [p-word euphemism deleted]. By the way, I have no problems with the P word. I just don't need any more freak-show headcases stumbling onto my site via MSN searches for "pictures of my mother's [euphemism deleted]."

4. I bungee-jumped off a 150' crane over the Hudson River. Twice.

5. As further evidence of my mastery of the laws of nerddom, I try to commit all the MTA's Poetry in Motion posters to memory when I ride the subway.

6. As Judd Nelson said in the Breakfast Club, "everyone can do something." What I can do is a spot-on impression of Beaker from the muppets.


*The answer: They are all things you didn't know about me. Six to be precise. Now see what I did here? I titled this "See if You Can Tell What These Things Have In Common." Because if I had called it "The Six Weird/Interesting Things You Don't Know About Me Meme that Wendy Tagged Me For," you wouldn't have read it, would you. Admit it, you hate memes. Hate them with all your heart. You just come here for the free booze and loose women. By the way, I would never tag anyone for a meme, but if I were to, I would tag Melanie, Catherine, Sam, Sweatpants Mom, Stephanie, Kevin, and Binky, the ever wonderful, should be required reading Binky...just so you know.)


55 Comments:

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Um, where's the free booze?

4/13/06, 10:39 PM  
Anonymous neva said...

...and your glamour rating continues to soar! commercials! braces! flaming arrows! frankenstein-painted-toenails! damn girl... you get around! color me more than a little impressed!

so here's what we now know: you're beautiful, you're talented... and you've got nerves of steel (i thought about using the term "balls" there, but then someone would surely have done a stupid MSN search for "moms with [euphemism deleted]"... and i figured you didn't need that freak-show, either!) : D

4/13/06, 11:02 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I've definitely seen that Frankenstein commercial. What a small world! I have always wanted to bungee jump, but I always chicken out.

4/13/06, 11:20 PM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

Very creative. Bring the foot video and the beeker impression to blogher. Can't wait.

4/14/06, 12:05 AM  
Blogger Cityslicker Mom said...

What? no milk in your cereal? What do you eat your cereal with? :)

4/14/06, 12:29 AM  
Anonymous chelle said...

ok it totally rocks that you can do a Beeker imitation!

4/14/06, 1:21 AM  
Anonymous Chase said...

Darn it! I was going to tag you with this one earlier today but thought to myself "nah, she doesn't do memes."

Son of a...

4/14/06, 2:13 AM  
Blogger cameo said...

the toenail commercial still runs here! i am so paying closer attention to it next time.

4/14/06, 3:52 AM  
Blogger Pattie said...

Great list! Wow, bungeeing twice over the Hudson River? You are one brave woman! I don't think I could do it, even one time *sigh*

4/14/06, 6:56 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Your life just gets more and more interesting the more I read. I starting to have more trouble hiding my envy.

I, too, am going to pay more attention to the toenails the next time I see the Disney commercial.

4/14/06, 7:31 AM  
Anonymous Tammy said...

Is there like a number we can call to check out the Beeker impression? I've totally got the "any adult in a Charlie Brown cartoon" thing down to a science.

4/14/06, 8:20 AM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

Great List. But I too want to know where I sign up for the free booze?

4/14/06, 8:44 AM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

Another person who spurns the glory of milk in cereal? I thought my husband and his siblings were the only ones who espoused that particular belief. I'll have to tell him he's not alone!

I loved reading more about you. Thanks for sharing.

4/14/06, 9:24 AM  
Blogger gingajoy said...

i like the stealth technology in the heading there. very interesting. i will now go and eradicate my six things title and come up with something more alluring/deceptive.

beeker? ME TOO!!!

4/14/06, 9:39 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Suzanne: is it possible you are married to my brother? Because he is the same way. Hmm...

2bad and Sunshine: Well, there was booze earlier. I think Kristen finished it all off.

4/14/06, 10:16 AM  
Blogger Marriage-101 said...

Okay I definitely remember the Chinet and Universal commercials. I do a pretty good Beeker myself. I may have to challenge you to a Beeker dual.

4/14/06, 10:34 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Can't wait to see the Beeker impression at BlogHer.

4/14/06, 10:45 AM  
Anonymous reluctant housewife said...

I'm so excited that I've seen your toes on TV!

4/14/06, 11:16 AM  
Blogger Lauri said...

Hmmm..Bosnian? I know that 'mother' phrase as well, must be the universal 'teach the foreigners this' phrase. Hubby worked over in that area of the world for a few years so on my visits to see him, I picked up some of the language.

We have a fairly large Bosnian immigrant population and I always want to try out my mad skills but am afraid I'd get mixed up and blurt out the 'mother' phrase instead.

4/14/06, 11:20 AM  
Blogger Lola said...

Can I add to the list? She invented the name "Momsie" for a grandmother.

4/14/06, 12:20 PM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

OMG I've seen your FOOT on TV!

BTW I always thought that was quite an elegant foot.

My closest claim to TV fame is just that I was a panelist on a local access cable talk show for a couple of seasons when I was a teenager. I even have the VHS tapes to prove it. Unfortunately.

My husband hates milk in his cereal, too. He eats it with his hands out of the bowl, with no milk, usually while sitting on the sofa. Which means I spend every morning after he goes to work picking up cereal crumbs off of my sofa with a lint roller.

Ah, true love :)

4/14/06, 12:22 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

cereal is icky. cool deal 'bout the commercials. and very cool blog. :)

4/14/06, 12:43 PM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

I can't believe I've actually seen all three commercials. Holy COW. I hardly ever notice commericals. Everytime someone asks me if I've see the (insert funniest-ever commercial here) I just look at them like I'm suffering from an apoplectic fit.

Speaking of which, I'll have a margarita if you've got one.

4/14/06, 12:46 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

I love those Poetry in Motion posters. Much better than Dr. Zitmore's stupid ads.

4/14/06, 12:48 PM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

That is a funny list. Bosnian, really? I know a few unfriendly terms in Polish.

4/14/06, 1:32 PM  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

I'm holding my breath for the Mom101 impression of Beaker to come out on YouTube...

4/14/06, 1:37 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Toyfoto: If you've seen that Orajel ad I'll...I'll...I don't know what. It only ran on MTV for a couple months back in 1984. So if you remember tuning in to the Music Television for hours on end, just waiting for the extended version of Thriller to come on, then yes! You just might have caught me.

4/14/06, 1:58 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

hey, I know your feet!
Great way to disguise a meme, by the way.
Pass me an Electric Lemonade!

4/14/06, 2:12 PM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

Ooh, I don't like milk or cereal. i used to as a child but not anymore. I'd love to hear your Beaker impression :)

4/14/06, 2:38 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

My, my, but you are CLEVER. First disguising the meme, then disguising the tag...So now I suppose I have to get serious about honing down my long list of weird things, being that this is my THIRD tag, huh? Well, okay... but only because ya'll offer up such great free booze.... wait, that's not right, either!!

4/14/06, 2:42 PM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

1984 ... the year my mom broke down and got us MTV ... after four YEARS of begging. So that would explain it!

4/14/06, 2:42 PM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

Damn the free booze. It gets me everytime.

And for the record. I can do a mean Swedish Chef. If you are worried about finding us at blogger, look for the 2 muppets. LOL.

4/14/06, 2:48 PM  
Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

I live for Beaker.

4/14/06, 3:21 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Cool, I know a famous foot. Was having a guy dressed as Frankenstein paint your toenails really as creepy as it seemed.

4/14/06, 3:31 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Nice!

So, uh, where does one go about signing up for that 'clogged pore' gig? I've so totally got that one locked. ;)

4/14/06, 4:07 PM  
Blogger Carrcakes said...

You've showed your face, but why not your feet? Bring on the frankenstein ad.

4/14/06, 5:00 PM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

So what DO you put in your cereal?

I ask the tough, hard-hitting questions...

4/14/06, 6:00 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Sadly my only good impression is that of Morrissey, from the Smiths. And I have to be quite stoned.

4/14/06, 6:55 PM  
Blogger Bridgermama said...

Great feet! I know the commercial and your toes are fabulous! Oh and your Beaker ain't nothing compared to my Donald Duck. Great meme.

4/14/06, 8:18 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Just wondering...what do you put in your cereal if you don't like milk? This will keep me up tonight so please reply soon. :)

Nice meme!

4/15/06, 1:22 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Inquiring minds who want to know: I eat cereal dry if at all, preferably right out of the box with my fingers. If it is in a bowl, then dry. Crunchy. The way God intended it.

4/15/06, 8:38 AM  
Anonymous krista said...

That was fun. I have somehow remaied unscathed from this meme... but Actually, yours was interesting to read.

4/15/06, 1:47 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

Love milk on my cereal. LOVE it.

4/15/06, 2:39 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Wow. We should get you and my nephew together. He's 2 and reminds me so much of Animal from The Muppets.

Beaker and Animal were the best ones anyway!

4/15/06, 3:16 PM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

blogher. blogher.

I interned with a girl who ate dry cereal from a bowl. I never got that. I would just eat it from the box. Why bother with the bowl and spoon?

4/15/06, 6:18 PM  
Anonymous sweatpantsmom said...

Ha! Loved your list. I am jealous, as I had just started a post a couple of days ago about how I am the only one in this family who has not made it onto a movie poster. Husband, kids - enjoying their fifteen minutes of glory shilling fine entertainment, and me - not even a back-of-the-head shot.

And I agree with the others - pictures or a posting on YouTube is in order.

(Got the tag - am fervently working on my list.)

4/15/06, 6:24 PM  
Blogger Veronica Mitchell said...

Fascinating. The flaming arrows fact was my favorite. Ever try that at home?

4/15/06, 9:10 PM  
Anonymous neva said...

wait a sec... you mean you're not supposed to eat cereal dry?? who knew?

by the way, doing Beaker impressions is not just cool, it's...(are you ready for this?)...

tres bhic

sigh...i know...i'm in one of those weird moods... and i used the term tres ghic (tres geek?) at the end of a post, and (sniff) no one got it... so much for clever-only-in-my-head "word play"! (now i'll quietly go away... and nibble on some Quaker oatmeal squares--out of the box!)

4/16/06, 12:11 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

I tagged sweatpantsmom too! I think this meme is interesting.

That Universal ad runs all the time here. It says something like "your kids have grown up, shouldn't your vacation?" or something, right? Next time I see it I'm totally checking out your foot.

And Neva is on to something-Quaker Oatmeal Squares are delicious right out of the box.

4/16/06, 2:00 AM  
Blogger Kirdy said...

Those are your feet? I love them. Not that I have a foot fetish, mind you. They just are very attractive, sandal wearing feet. I do not posess feet like that, so I notice those sorts of things.

Beaker had a very spastic Zen thing goin' on. I always loved him.

4/16/06, 1:53 PM  
Anonymous MetroDad said...

Funny. I always try to memorize the MTA poems. Only difference is that I then try to pass them off to my wife as I had written them myself. Ever wonder how they pick those poems? Do they do it by committee? Or is it actually someone's job to select them? I've always wondered...

Also, I feel like a total butthead for not knowing that there was a Bosnian language. I'm not sure what I thought they spoke over there. Yugoslavian? Anyway, I'd love to hear how that phrase goes. You never know when something like that will come in handy.

Thanks for sharing!

4/17/06, 4:18 PM  
Blogger Clare said...

I'm way too lazy to scroll through this comments box and see if Sami has already mentioned it...

But do you remember she tagged you for another meme a few weeks ago and you told her to remind you when you were back from LA?

Well this is me reminding you...

Yes. Cheeky. I know.

[cheeky grin]

4/18/06, 12:54 PM  
Anonymous Wendy said...

love it! you are just more interesting now - all the best people have the coolest quirks - rock on Mom101..

4/20/06, 8:59 PM  
Blogger Stephanie A. said...

Hey, I speak a little Bosnian, too. Kikiriki. It means jar. My Bosnian students were speaking Bosnian duing class and I liked how it sounded and demanded that they translate. It was so much more romantic before I knew what it meant.

By the way, have you ever had any Bosnians make you pita? Holy cow, the taste is awesome! If you haven't had it, force the next Bosnian you meet to make it for you- w/ sausage.

4/21/06, 9:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kikiriki does not mean "jar" but "peanut". Jar is "tegla". Perhaps you had a jar of peanut butter out.

11/3/06, 10:59 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home