8.18.2006

Mom-101, P.I.

What goes on when your sitemeter says someone clicked on 14 pages in 1 minute, 09 seconds:

PAGE 1
I wonder who this blogger is that Amalah linked to...

PAGE 2
What's this? Boring.

PAGE 3
Boring.

PAGE 4
Oh, snore. If she has nothing to say why even bother to post?

PAGE 5
Hm, what about...hm....skim skim skim...okay that's sort of funny...

PAGE 6
That's not funny at all. And long as shit. She expects us to read all that?

PAGE 7
That's too long for me.

PAGE 8
Blah blah blah, you don't like going to work. Yeah, we got it.

PAGE 9
Too long.

PAGE 10
Seriously, Amalah really reads this crap? Too long. But cute baby.

PAGE 11
HA! That's kind of f-...oh wait, I thought this was going somewhere else. Pass.

PAGE 12
Pass.

PAGE 13
Pass.

PAGE 14
Skim skim skim...cute baby picture, whatever. Hey wait, a link to Amalah. I'm out.


32 Comments:

Blogger penelopeto said...

I find site meter a total tease; look! 87 people checked out my blog today.

50 of them stayed for exactly 0:00
8 of them were me, at various times of day
6 got to me through google searches for dirty things
and 23 real honest to goodness readers who i love spent an average of 2:57.
i have hit double digit comments like, twice.

and yet, on site meter's site meter, it will site that i stop by at least twice a day.
bloggers are masochists.
(that will probably net you at least a few dirty google search readers)

8/18/06, 11:18 PM  
Anonymous Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom said...

Damn that site meter! As a newbie, I was so excited at my numbers when I started. I was equally so excited that so many people in my very own city had found my site. Needless to say, I was sorely disappointed when I realized that all the hits from my city were from me. Damn that site meter...

8/18/06, 11:39 PM  
Blogger Chantal said...

I often envy those who can read that must in so little time. I tend to prattle on and they manage to get through 15 pages in less than a minute.

Now I know what they're doing!

8/18/06, 11:39 PM  
Anonymous nonlinearpapa said...

I don't really have anything to say except (a) that couldn't have been me because I, for one, enjoy your blog and (2) "1 shards of brilliance" was bugging me.

8/18/06, 11:39 PM  
Blogger Veronica Mitchell said...

Ah, sitemeter. Without it I would not have known that most of my hits are from Eastern Europeans looking for Veronica Mitchell the porn "actress."

At least folks expect you to be clothed.

8/18/06, 11:48 PM  
Blogger Mary-LUE said...

How does that 0 second thing happen anyway. I've been getting kind of tired of StatCounter. Unless it is giving me someone's name, address and email... I don't really know anything. What good is a dot in New Jersey to me? I want details!

Okay... enough about me. This was very clever Liz, Mom, I'm still not sure what to call you. Hey YOU, funny post.

8/19/06, 12:13 AM  
Anonymous zygote daddy said...

Yeah, I'm never quite sure how those things are calculated. I am such a nerd that I use three different counters, none of which provide consistent information. So I can safely say that yesterday I had somewhere between 20 and 150 hits.

Also, I'm kind of dense that way, but when I first read through your post I thought, "Ouch, Mom101's being kinda harsh today." Then the realization of my own idiocy swept over me. *sigh*

8/19/06, 12:23 AM  
Blogger movin'mom said...

My name is Movin' Mom and I am totally obsessed with site meter,

I am obsessed with the fact that I have someone that visits me daily and @ times more than that from Great Falls Montana. NEVER comments!!!

Why is this?
Who are they?
and even more...*Why do I care?

*refer to line one

8/19/06, 1:01 AM  
Blogger metro mama said...

I need to spend less time looking at site meter. It brings out the obsessive-compulsive in me.

8/19/06, 7:39 AM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

That post describes my blog reading habits a little too well ... is there a way that that site meter can stalk me?

:)

8/19/06, 7:54 AM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

I don't even know what a sitemeter is.

But it sounds addictive and unhealthy. And like something I really need.

8/19/06, 8:58 AM  
Anonymous chris said...

Oh I know what you mean. It makes you want to put a paragraph in a huge font up at the top of the blog...Keep reading, you will love me too. Really. Don't go

8/19/06, 9:07 AM  
Blogger Karen Rani said...

The 0:00 just means they didn't click anything - they might have read your first entry or your whole front page. You'll never know - cue the duh duh duhhhhnnnn...

Site Meter also is extremely inaccurate, erring on the side of not recording all hits.

Therefore you are not boring. If you were, I wouldn't come and visit you, pretty lady!

Karen
xo

8/19/06, 10:02 AM  
Blogger Dana said...

Damn you (!!), for being so creative! I was looking for a way to post like this! Someone does this on my sitemeter, too. I'm starting to think I'm the most boring blogger ever and that no one reads me, but skims me! :)

8/19/06, 12:01 PM  
Blogger DaniGirl said...

This is a completely gratuitous plug and I am in no way being compensated for it, but if you like Sitemeter, you should try the inaptly named Add Free Stats (http://main.addfreestats.com/). You can see which pages people are clicking on and reading, and a little bit more ISP info than on sitemeter. I use sitemeter for a quick fix, but when I really feel like obsessing over the stats, nothing scratches the itch like Add Free Stats. (Now with 20% more navel-gazing.)

8/19/06, 1:05 PM  
Blogger DaniGirl said...

er, try THIS link instead:
http://www.addfreestats.com/

8/19/06, 1:07 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Davis said...

Hilarious! Sometimes Sitemeter tells me more than I want to know.

And now I am also self-conscious about appearing to be on someone's blog for 30 minutes, reading and commenting on ONE post, when in reality I am fighting off interruptions (can I have a drink? where are my shoes? oh crap, are those clothes still in the dryer? is that my phone?) for 25 of those 30 minutes.

8/19/06, 2:38 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Yeah, I have that problem too. Except mine is oh, what kind of rambly crap is this.

Liz, truly you are one funny chick....sitemeter knows nothing.

8/19/06, 2:57 PM  
Blogger ephelba said...

HA! I'm feelin ya! Sorta. My blog is a baby and I'm lucky if two people hit it. But I'm just fascinated by the fact that I don't know those two people. FASCINATED.

8/19/06, 4:03 PM  
Anonymous neva said...

so... this amallah person, is she funny, or what? xoxo

8/19/06, 4:54 PM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

LOL! That is very funny, and exactly what I think when looking at my sitemeter. I also wonder about the people that stay for 0.0 seconds. Gee, nothing like making a good first impression. Sometimes I think about ditching my sitemeter altogether. It's really quite a crutch.

8/19/06, 5:34 PM  
Anonymous Y said...

Who's Amalah?

8/19/06, 5:35 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Your toys are scarier than Amalah's. FYI.

8/19/06, 6:17 PM  
Blogger DaniGirl said...

Ew, ick, I just reread my comment and it looks frighteningly spammish. Really, I'm not on their dole, I promise.

Of course, three comments on one post may in fact officially qualify as spam anyway.

(Step away from the keyboard, DaniGirl...)

8/19/06, 6:41 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

I'm sorry, site meter? Stat counter? What are these things of which you all speak. I know nothing of these things. And if I did I would not, Would Not, be checking it obsessively to see what my numbers were on any particular day. I'm much more secure in myself to have such toys on my blog.

(whistling)

That was totally believable, right?

8/19/06, 8:15 PM  
Blogger Stefanie said...

So true. I have wondered that many times myself. In fact, I'm not sure what constitutes a separate page. I just think that if you scroll down one long page then you're looking at a lot of entries right? Who the hell knows. I just try not to look at my site meter if I can help it.

8/20/06, 12:54 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Oh that's funny. I've wondered that stuff myself. Site meter can be evil like that.

8/20/06, 2:19 PM  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

My sitemeter often tells me I've been Googled by someone looking for "child-bride", "Asian child-bride" and lately, "child bride, penis." I have this one chappie in Uzbekistan who keeps coming back after having Googled the former, above, and he must know by now that I'm married.

'Course I am only 9.

Overwhelmingly, most of the Googlepervs who got to my site have been from Saudi Arabia, which surprised me, but I guess they just don't have enough state-sanctioned subjugation of women there. Or something.

8/20/06, 5:34 PM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

Or,

maybe someone was wanting to link to a post of your that they found particularly insightful, or bookmark it so they could nominate you for a perfect post or something later, only they couldn't remember what the title of the post was, or when it was posted, but felt they would know it when they saw it.

Hmmmmmm?

8/21/06, 11:00 AM  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Good point jaelithe, but that rather falls apart when you consider none of my posts are perfect. Indeed they're mostly two streets away from perfect.

8/21/06, 8:40 PM  
Blogger tania (urban_mommy) said...

Definitely someone trying to trace back something they'd read before. Like you don't know how awesome your blog is. Psh.

8/25/06, 9:49 AM  
Blogger markira said...

Yes, I am reading this in September (I JUST discovered Mom 101, and I am totally linking her in my blogroll). I *just* wrote a blog myself *yesterday*on how I (coughcough) accidentally frig up the data on other people's sitemeter. oops. Sorry.

I think I've been on this page for like two days now. Really need to just bookmark and move on.

Hugs,
markira

9/25/06, 7:42 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home