Who Knows What Weirdness Lurks in the Heart of Mom101
(Also, Kristen and Catherine are doing it and if they jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, by golly, so would I!)
So with no further ado, I give you six weird things about the already fairly weird Mom101.
1) I spend an absurd amount of hours thinking about totally useless things, although I think you already know that by now. (See: hair salon names) For example, I have never understood the tag line With a name like Smucker's, it has to be good. WHY? What the hell does that mean? Does Smucker's mean "good jelly" in some old Germanic dialect? Is there some sort of arcane law on the books about quality standards of pectin products starting with an S? Or is it because the name is so bad we'd better make our jelly twice as delicious?
Meanwhile, it's not even good. So I don't understand where they get off using this tag line at all.
And yes, I lose sleep over this stuff.
2)I cannot watch Wheel of Fortune. Literally. It makes me crazy. Remember the woman who had seizures upon hearing Mary Hart's voice on Entertainment Tonight? That is me with that freaking theme song. I have to leave the room if it comes on and someone insists on watching the total idiocy that is The Wheel.
Let's be honest, you are watching adults play hangman for a half hour. Hangman! It's not even fun when you play it yourself. And they always buy the damn vowels when they already know the word. What's that about?
3)I once had a small part in a low-budget film that made the NY Film Festival back in the mid-80s. (Yes it's on IMDB, but no I 'm not on there so don't even bother.) I was terrible, and so was the film. I was playing some guy's teen daughter and his girlfriend brings him home a t-shirt advertising Stiff Records that says If It Ain't Stiff, It Ain't Worth a Fuck. My big line was, "well if you don't want it, I'll take it."
The director has also dabbled in gay porn, or so I've been told.
4)I'm a huge devotee of runes. It's an old Nordic method of divination, like Tarot, only very positive. It's helped me through some tough spots. It also scared away about about six boyfriends.
5) I love the feeling of a leg wax.
6) Once I have an incorrect lyric in my head, I cannot possibly get the right words to come out ever again. To this day, if we are ever at a party together and Stayin' Alive comes on, you will hear me sing those illustrious lyrics, "We can try to understand the New York Times' old anchor man."
Okay so maybe some of these aren't so much weird as peculiar. But I don't know you all well enough to discuss my third nipple or my taste for lamb's blood.
(Kidding. Please don't call PETA on me.)
I think I'm supposed to tag someone to do this next so...I'm thinking fellow bridge-jumpers Chase, Stefanie and Christina will have something fun to say on the subject.