2.03.2007

Midwestern Hair

I have been asked by several readers of my last post if I wouldn't mind further explaining the concept (or perhaps my concept) of Midwestern hair.

I swear, I'm not one of those New Yorkers who discusses "flyover states" without irony, or says things like, You're from Idaho! No way, do you know Bob from Ohio? But there is such a thing as Midwestern hair, even if not all Midwesterners have it. It's a fact. Just like there's a New York accent or a California tan or a Texas inclination to put minor felons to death.

Truth be told, you don't even have to be Midwestern to have Midwestern hair.
The Patron Saint of Midwestern Hair. Cue the harps.

Midwestern hair is a cut that just misses (at best). It generally incorporates style tricks from a decade or two earlier, like angled overgrown sideburns in front of the ears or a spikey top with shorter sides. Or perhaps it's just a sad helmet-looking thing that hangs there over your head as if it weren't even attached to your scalp in the first place. The word shellack comes to mind.

To say nothing of the color. The word shellack comes to mind.

Indiana hair. For real.

South Dakota hair.

Of course living on a coast does not guarantee one a spectacular haircut, I assure you. I know my own hair is hopelessly inadequate. It always has been, ever since my mid-80s Ducky 'do. Or even sooner. There's one photo in my baby album of a 3 year-old me, just out of the pool, with an opaque mess of dark unnatural looking curls parted down the center, falling into my face and covering it in spotty patches. Years later I came across the photo and asked my mother whether I was wearing her wig.

Indeed, my hair is my beauty cross to bear, which is why I work the cleavage. Much rather you look there. However since in New York we pay six times as much for a cut--or sometimes 32 times more for it--we feel entitled to act as if we look better than everyone else.
Orange County Mom Hair looks great on the over-70 set!


NYC hair. Don't look directly at it - use a mirror for your own safety.

However we do have one thing in NYC that other cities don't: Better hair salon names.

Our salon owners, for the most part, seem to save their creativity for the inside of the salon and simply use their names for the outside. But in smaller towns and cities, wow, you just can't beat the salon names.

I've always loved driving through unfamiliar places and checking out the name of beauty establishments. They are simply the best in any retail category, bar none. And because I am a total freak whose mind works in absolutely useless ways, I mentally categorize them, if not actually jotting them down somewhere.

First of all, there are the cliche names that you see absolutely everywhere: A Cut Above. Shear Elegance. Mane Expressions. Pizzazz. Foxy Lady.

Don't believe me? Google "foxy lady" and hair, and you get 124,000 hits.

Then there are the fast and loose spellings which seem to permeate this retail category like no other: Nogginz. Sassi Styles. Topp Notch Hair. Changez. Kutterz. Hairdooz. These are also the people whose children are named Madysynne and Tymythy, no doubt.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why Topp Notch Hair was chosen over Top Notch Hair. Maybe the latter was already taken?

This summer when we were driving down from Raleigh/Durham to Carolina Beach, I caught perhaps my favorite name ever: Best Little Hairhouse. It absolutely works as a pun. Do I want to go to the best little hairhouse? Why, yes! Yes I do! Other salons are not so smart about their puns. I can only imagine what hair do's and don'ts occur at the following establishments:

Scissor Happy, Lowell, AR
"Take just a little off the si...no? Um, okay."

Doc Scissors, Boise, ID
They make you wear those paper gowns.

Tangles Hair, Freemont, NC
Bring the kids!

Anything Goes for Hair, Omaha, NE
Is this a good thing?

Fanny Brice Salon, Reynoldsburg, OH
Evidently that other contemporary style icon, Ethel Merman, was already taken.

All About Nails! Columbus, NE
The first place you should think of for a cut and color.

Curl up and Dye, Logan, WV
It just gives every customer a warm fuzzy feeling.

Headgames, Madison, WI
Maybe we'll give you the cut you want...maybe not. You'll know when you take off the blindfold.

Crosshairs, Kansas City, KS
"Next victim?"

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow, Lincoln, NE
A truly transformative experience

Although there is one single worst name for a salon that I uncovered this morning while searching for hair salons. I kid you not, this is an actual place, and more frightening yet, it's a chain. I saw it time and time again, in cities across America from coast to coast. I beg of you, go someplace, anyplace else. Please. For me. For the children.

It's called J.C. Penney


91 Comments:

Blogger Heather said...

I think I have a place that has all of those names beat. I live in a rather white bread city, and we have a place called "Kountry Kut 'n' Kurl. I shit you not.

2/3/07, 11:58 AM  
Blogger WM said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2/3/07, 12:29 PM  
Blogger WM said...

The midwest also dresses "midwest". The Husband is from Chicago and every time we visit for a long time (more than 3 days -- which is all that I can handle my ILs for) I work in our Chicago office. I always think "midwest dress" when I am in Chicago. It is just not quite "right". And this is coming from a fashion-moron! I think it is department store dressing rather than shopping the small boutiques like most people do in NYC. Weird though.

Not necessarily WRONG (like mullet wrong), but just not quite right either. I thought was the only one who noticed this.

2/3/07, 12:30 PM  
Blogger B said...

Ha! Well then, I am glad I moved from Iowa to the west coast at the tender age of 17.

Cut N Corral
101 N Main St
Galva, IA 51020

Seriously.

2/3/07, 1:14 PM  
Blogger Stephanie T. said...

Not only do we have a Shear Elegance salon in our town, we also have:

Shear Artistry
Shear Beauty
Shear Essence
Shear Excellence
Shear Happiness
Shear Magic
Shear Odyssey

And my favorite "cutesy spelling" salon:

Kut Klose Hair Salon (Using "C's" just would not have provided the same ZAZZ factor!)

2/3/07, 1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Growing up, I had my hair cut at Thrillz.

2/3/07, 1:23 PM  
Blogger gingajoy said...

there IS such a thing as Midwestern hair, and I have trolled the deepest darkest portions of this fair region in order to find a nice Gay Boy who can think outside the helmet.

He exists. At LOCKWORX (gettit? gettit????)

2/3/07, 1:33 PM  
Blogger Mona said...

My in-laws are Midwesterners and they use so much hairspray that if they dunked their heads under water, their curled helmets would still be in tact when they came up for air. They also wear mom jeans with pockets so big they also use it to carry around their casserole dishes.

2/3/07, 1:41 PM  
Anonymous dutch from sweet juniper said...

when I first moved to san francisco, I got my hair cut at a place called "bladerunners." Because it was on haight street! and they all had tattoos!

here in detroit, we go to Barberella. She's no joke, though.

2/3/07, 1:43 PM  
Blogger slouching mom said...

Dear god, is this funny:

Evidently that other contemporary style icon, Ethel Merman, was already taken.

Evidently you've spent some time thinking about hair.

Thank you for the explanation. We were all waiting with bated breath. You rock.

2/3/07, 1:45 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Here in Columbus, we also have a Best Little Hair House. Although we also have The Chop Shop, Brett's Of Coarse Hair Salon, Aftermath, Final Cut, and Hair Raisers.

My hair certainly can't be compared to any of the pictures you used, but it certainly isn't high fashion, either. It's hard to find a good salon in town that won't butcher my hair, but won't charge more than my mortgage to make me look good.

2/3/07, 2:12 PM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

Everytime I get a hair cut, someone tries to give me midwestern hair. So now I am just refusing to get it cut.

2/3/07, 2:14 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Oh my goodness, you're all making me laugh so hard! Christina - Aftermath? Seriously? Dutch - Bladerunners totally works on Haight Street. Maybe not so much on Main Street.

Stephanie T- Yes yes YES! When I searched around, that Shear_____ thing was everywhere. Makes you wonder whether they think they're being original or just don't really have the time to come up with something else.

Like Aftermath.

2/3/07, 2:24 PM  
Blogger PoconoMom said...

ahhhh....here in pennsylvania we have "unique designs" "malcolms" "a cut above" and "the lemon tree"...thank god for the lemon tree!

2/3/07, 3:08 PM  
Anonymous Laura said...

Oh-so-many years ago, I got a Bride of Frankenstein perm at JC Penney. I actually returned a week later to have it straightened! Oh boy, it was bad. And that was back before I discovered fitness and health, so the way-too-curly 'do only accented my Popeye's Chicken cheeks! Ugh.

Never again!

Signed,
Laura in Indy (Home of "Headquarters" - heh heh)

2/3/07, 3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Curl Up and Dye is the name of the hair salon in Blues Brothers, which makes me hope that the WV owners have good taste in movies rather than homicidal tendencies.

2/3/07, 3:36 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Good catch, anon! I'm humbled by your comedic knowledge.

2/3/07, 3:43 PM  
Anonymous Carla said...

OK, I grew up and MOVED away from a little town in Idaho that has a Salon with the name, "Country Hair Illusion" For the life of me I can't figure out what that means. But the pictures in my head are priceless. It truly scares when I realized this same woman/salon owner used to substitute teach in our school system.
Timely post,not more than 5 minutes ago I posted about my own hair angst.

2/3/07, 3:49 PM  
Blogger Carla said...

OK, I grew up and MOVED away from a little town in Idaho that has a Salon with the name. "Country Hair Illusion" For the life of me I can't figure out what that means. But the pictures in my head are priceless. It truly scares when I realized this same woman/salon owner used to substitute teach in our school system.
Timely post,not more than 5 minutes ago I posted about my own hair angst.

2/3/07, 3:54 PM  
Anonymous LOD said...

Where I went to school, there was a place called Follicle Follies. Seriously.

If I went to a salon, it would be called Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.

And don't deny that your hair is awesome. From what I saw on Wednesday, it bounces and behaves as well as any I've seen.

2/3/07, 4:16 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Curl Up and Dye?! LOVE it.

And I grew up in a town that had a Best Little Hairhouse. Sad, but true. Also sad, Midwest hair is sometimes really horrible but we've got some doozies around here too. It's called "Worcester Hair". Think big. Really big.

2/3/07, 4:34 PM  
Anonymous binkytown said...

What did the Midwest do to hurt anybody? I assure you, not everyone in the Midwest looks like this, maybe the 40-55 age group like in the photos you posted but the under 40 set does not dress or style their hair like this. Especially not in Chicago.

Liz you slammed Milwaukee not too long ago. If you ever get sent back drop me a line, Ill show you the side you didn't see and I promise you won't even know you are in the Midwest.

2/3/07, 5:06 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Oh Binkytown, I no sooner think that all Midwesterners have Midwestern hair than that all Californians get tofu enemas. Only some of them. See paragraph 2.

Dig through my archives and you'll see I've riffed on New Yorkers, Angelenos, North Carolinians, New Jersians, Rhode Islanders--and myself--far more than anyone from the Midwest.

In fact if I have my way, our next president will be from Illinois.

2/3/07, 5:31 PM  
Blogger canape said...

Carrying their casserole dishes in their jean pockets. That made me laugh. And snort while doing so.

2/3/07, 5:37 PM  
Blogger slouching mom said...

You said it! And his name is Obama, not Osama (CNN's fairly egregious error). I've been posting about him to the effect that we should not believe the ridiculous argument that he is unelectable because he's black. That's what THEY (read: Republicans, or even Hillary's camp) want us to think. I am so with you here.

Unless there's another presidential candidate from Illinois I am missing?

2/3/07, 6:04 PM  
Anonymous Selfmademom said...

Hailing from Chicago, I should be offended by such a derogatory use of the word Midwestern... then again, I'm still getting my hair done in Detroit. I really shouldn't admit that in public.

2/3/07, 6:52 PM  
Anonymous Suzy said...

God I LOVE the name Curl Up and Dye. Maybe it's because I'm a standup comic and we see so little humor in things like hair salons. I also loved Best Little Hairhouse.

I live in the Hollywood Hills, under the Hollywood sign and our local salon is called Desire. What the fuck does that have to do with hair?

Are you in the real LA this time? Last visit you were in Manhattan Beach, and that is SO not LA. It's like people who live in Jersey and say they're from NY. We're all about the real fake thing here.

2/3/07, 7:05 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

I've got a thing about names too. In New York, it was Minardi. East 60-something, near Barney's. Back when I could afford it.

Now it's Zoe. Kyle actually booked me a cut and highlight there the day after we arrived in town, and I've been so happy that I haven't gone looking anywhere else.

2/3/07, 7:34 PM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

Maybe it's more like "Politican Hair?"

2/3/07, 7:37 PM  
Anonymous Asha said...

There's a salon here in Portland called "Dirty Little Secret." I'm never tempted to set foot in that place. We've also got "'Do or Dye." We're so cool.

2/3/07, 7:55 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Davis said...

We have many of those Midwestern-named salons here. I currently go to A Cut Above. Used to go to the Hairy Canary (painted almost entirely yellow, inside and out). We have many salon's named for the owner, too, but they are places like Delia's Touch of Beauty, and Paula's Styling.

My mom always referred to her salon, whatever its name actually was, as "the beauty shop" and she went in every Friday for a wash and set. Talk about midwestern hair...

2/3/07, 8:16 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

You know, lovey - everytime I have Seen a JC penney with a salon, I have seriously wondered just WHO was getting their hair styled at Penneys.

I ain't no fashion maven - shit, it's taking like 8 years for my hair to grow back - but I can tell you if the salon is worth staying in about 4.7 seconds.
Product. It is all about the product.
I suspect that Garnier "Nutresse" is big at some of those salons....

P.S. There is a "Older Montreal woman" cut - -which is short, spiky and dyed an unnatural burgundy color. Just for your files....

2/3/07, 9:02 PM  
Blogger Mitzi Green said...

"crosshairs" in kck is SO appropriate i can't stop laughing. (kck would be the funky ghett-to.)

but then, i go to a north kc (mo, thank you) salon called "looks avant garde." so i guess i can't poke fun.

2/3/07, 9:47 PM  
Anonymous Amy said...

As a midwesterner, and as a former JC Penney associate during my sophomore year in college, I have to ask whether or not you know this or whether I just don't get the joke, because JC Penney isn't a hair salon. It's a massive department store. You know, in the same mall as like, Macy's. (True, many of the JC Penney's out there do have salons in them.)

And really, I'd take JC Penney over the Kut 'n Kurl any day of the week.

2/3/07, 10:24 PM  
Anonymous Isabel Kallman said...

In NYC, the names can be pretty bad. There's the "Dramatics" chain where one during college led to my face being burned by a curling iron (I know! It was the early 90s). After that I called it "Traumatics." Then, there is "L'Amour de Hair"-- gag.

You should do a series on breastfeeding shops' names throughout the US. There's the "Upper Breast Side" in honor of its Upper West side location in Manhattan. Then, there's the famed "Pumping Station" in LA. Those names naver fail to make me chuckle-- though I'm lame like that.

2/3/07, 10:39 PM  
Blogger krystynecheerful said...

There used to be a salon here in Las Vegas called "Scissors Palace"...which I thought was a great play on words. Apparently though, the then-owners of Caesar's Palace, DID NOT like the play on words and sued the owner of Scissors Palace forcing him/her/them to change the name. I forget what they changed it too (obviously something less catchy as I stopped paying attention to the place), but it's gone now...burned down in a fire about 3 months ago.

Other salon names here:

A Wild Hair
Hair Diva
American Hair Force
Snips
Snaps
Tangles
Who Duz Your Hair
Wild Roots
The Cutting Room
The Hair Port
Hob Nob Salon

And to hit the 'shears':
Shear Action
Shear Irony
Shear Paradise
Shear Trends

:-)

2/4/07, 12:41 AM  
Blogger Lady M said...

I will admit that for my four years of high school, I got my hair cut at the local J.C.Penney's salon where a nice Japanese-American lady took care of my perm (it was the 80's after all). I don't think that any salon could really make 80's big hair look really good. ;)

2/4/07, 12:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I grew up in Sherman, Texas and got my hair cut at "Blow and Go."

Now, I live in Nelson, New Zealand and get my haircut at "Hairanoia."

It's a global phenomenon.

2/4/07, 1:29 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

I lived in Columbus, OH for two years and my biggest complaint beyond the weather was the fact that I COULD NOT get a good haircut. No matter how specific I was and how many times I changed stylists/salons my hair would end up square and mullety. I thought it was some kind of midwestern conspiracy to assimilate me into the collective and make me eat nothing but bratwurst for the rest of my life.
Good luck out there, I hope you find what you need to get settled quickly.

2/4/07, 5:52 AM  
Blogger David said...

Best.

Post.

EVAH.

this is coffee-spilling funny.

of course, I'm surrounded by Southern hair coiffed at places like "Hair and Beyond," and "Unbridled Style."

2/4/07, 9:51 AM  
Anonymous Kvetch said...

Too funny, Mom101. I held my breath at the midwest hair part, being IN the midwest and all, although I am not FROM the midwest, which I am sure makes a difference. I do think you forgot, which you'll be thrilled to know still exists, the midwestern mom and women who wear bows in their hair. I think it has something to do with matching the floral dresses.

2/4/07, 10:08 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

My best girlfriend lives in a little town in N. California, and their hair salons include, "the classy lassy", and "the beligerent duck". Not kidding. I told her if she ever calls me and tells me she went to such a place I was driving up there and rescuing her asap.

2/4/07, 11:51 AM  
Blogger Lauri said...

Now I'm all paranoid about getting my hair cut next weekend..I'll have to request it specifically not be midwest hair. Scary thing, hubby went to get his hair cut last week and the lady said mullets were coming back...I may have to move! I know those words would not be spoken in LA or NYC

2/4/07, 3:40 PM  
Anonymous surcie said...

I'm a couple of miles from the town of Carolina Beach, and Lord child, do we have some hair here!

I can vouch for the accuracy of your SD hair photo. My husband's mom, 3 aunts and 2 uncles live there and they ALL have that do. Even the men! They're farmers with curly perms! I am NOT joking!

Think Dorothy Hamill's old hairstyle will ever come back into vogue? Because when I was seven, I wore the "wedge", and it was bouncin' and behavin'.

2/4/07, 4:30 PM  
Blogger crazymumma said...

I always wondered about that hair thing going on in the midwest.

I personally like something I heard on a shopping channel late at night many years ago when I was up to late doing who knows what "The Higher The Hair The Closer To God".

2/4/07, 6:07 PM  
Blogger Roola Lenska said...

My all time favorite is not a salon name but a hair related band name - Hell Toupe

2/4/07, 7:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best Head in Arlington Heights, IL beats 'em all!!

2/4/07, 8:41 PM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

My salon switched it's name to end with SPA. Now I get charged $20 more.

Bitches.

PS. How could you forget Dallas hair?!

2/4/07, 9:44 PM  
Anonymous mrs. q said...

I remember my sister going to Sandy at Scissorhands in Providence. A clever name, yes, but not the most settling idea if you remember some of Johnny Depp's hair creations in the movie.

2/4/07, 10:11 PM  
Blogger Julie Pippert said...

Oh...oh NO!

It's not regional...it's individual!

Maybe it's due to the 90s when I went several years with The Rachel. I just got used to names for hair.

See, when I got my first haircut after moving to the Yonder Regions from the Northeast...I got LYNN CHENEY hair.

I see now you'd prefer that be named Midwest hair. (Where is Lynn from, anyway?)

I was deeply, deeply traumatized. That's what I get for going someplace called Beaute (with an accent). In fact, I can say no more at this time about it other than it was a hard two years. But I'm over it now, and found a lady from Jersey (I know, but honest, she's GOOD) who cuts my hair well.

I will, however, concede Dallas Hair and Jersey Hair *if* you give me NYC glasses (those little cat black frames, which I sometimes suspect are stocked with plain glass).

Did you find A Wild Hair? I could never go there...my main concern would be writing a check and just losing it and finishing up with Across My Ass.

2/4/07, 10:48 PM  
Blogger Julie Pippert said...

Mrs. Chicky,

I'm all on top of:

Lynn, Lynn City of Sin...

You can take the girl out of Southie...

But Worcester Hair?

Photo evidence, please. ;)

2/4/07, 10:57 PM  
Anonymous BFF said...

This post is the greatest!

Where I grew up there was a hair salon called "Upper Cuts."

The sign had an artist-rendered image of a woman with boxing gloves and a SHINER. I'm not. even. kidding.

Her hair looked great, though.

2/5/07, 7:30 AM  
Blogger roaringmommy said...

Here's a few...

"Cuts in Curves" (I for one don't want "curves" in my hair--scarey)

or

"Wave Lynx" (I don't even know what they were going for)

2/5/07, 8:54 AM  
Anonymous MetroDad said...

I'm embarrassed to admit how much I spend on my hair. But it's part of living in NYC, isn't it? I can't be walking around with a $7.00 SuperCuts haircut. Even the homeless people wouldn't take me seriously!

2/5/07, 9:54 AM  
Anonymous ali said...

ah, the lovely midwest with their hair and their clothes. it's like being in a time warp when i go and visit my mother...and don't get me started on the women wearing packers earrings...

2/5/07, 10:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a native New Yorker, I can seriously appreciate the comedy that is midwestern hair.

Lest one thinks that all New Yorkers are fashion icons, I have three words for you...

Staten Island Hair.

2/5/07, 10:14 AM  
Blogger Vikki said...

My mom used to get her midwestern hair done at The Hairport in Sunrise Beach, MO.

Can those of us living in the midwest send you photos of ourselves for diagnosis? Because I'm really hoping I don't have midwestern hair. I think I'm o.k. but now you've got me worried.

In exchange, I'll accept photos and diagnose bad lesbian hair for any concerned about that horrible phenomenon.

2/5/07, 11:03 AM  
Blogger jen said...

THIS? cracked my shit up. absolutely hilarious, and spot-on accurate.

in my brief time here in Texas I have noticed a similarly unfortunate trend of geographically-distinctive hair. and not surprisingly, it holds true to the old adage...

"everything's bigger in Texas."

2/5/07, 1:20 PM  
Anonymous Jessica said...

Holy shit! I just laughed out loud at work! Not only because you are very funny but, mainly because we got our son's hair cut there last week (JCPenny!). Well, to be fair his Grammy did. He cried. And, I tried to do the whole, shut up it looks fine thing but, I just couldn't get it all out with a straight face. Poor kid he looked like Eddie Munster! Sidenote-I am such an awesome Mother that I still haven't gotten it fixed, thanks for the reminder!

2/5/07, 1:43 PM  
Blogger movin'mom said...

Being a former hairdresser
I gotta throw my past out there

1. receptionist turned hairdresser at the typical mall salon Regis Hairstylist

2. different location different mall
Regis Hairstylist

3. Shear Madness

4. Scissors

5. Shana's International Hair Studio

yep....thats about it!

2/5/07, 2:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One small town we lived in (in the midwest) had a hair salon called, no joke, "Curl Up and Dye"

2/5/07, 3:32 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

You are unbelievable. This is so funny! Thanks for making me laugh harder than I have in a bit!

2/5/07, 5:59 PM  
Anonymous dorothy said...

As a born, raised, and still-living-here Midwesterner, I know you are right on. Sadly, eighties bangs are still alive and well in southwest Iowa and western Kansas.

Yes, they are.

2/5/07, 6:02 PM  
Blogger BOSSY said...

Bossy's mother thought it might be neat to open a salon in the International Terminal with the name Hair Port. But then again Bossy's mother is midwestern.

2/5/07, 7:08 PM  
Blogger Sunshine said...

The place I went in central Iowa for a wedding I was in to get my "bridesmaid hairdo" was called ShearLock Combs. That has to be waaaaaaay up there for hair place names.

2/5/07, 10:41 PM  
Blogger Janice said...

This is by far the funniest post/blog I've ever read!!! Unfortunately I live about two miles from a salon named "Shear Elegance" - you can't miss it, they have a HUGE 20 foot vertical pair of scissors right outside their parking lot.

And thank you for the great comment!! Having two children 22 months apart - wow - you're in for a great ride! Hope you write about how things go. :-)

2/5/07, 10:49 PM  
Blogger penelopeto said...

there is a salon in the toronto burbs called the mane society. everybody comes out of there looking like a dog. waka waka.

2/6/07, 11:30 AM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

We had a hair salon in Livermore Falls, Maine that was called, "Just A Hair Off The bridge." It was less than a mile from the main bridge leading into town.

2/6/07, 2:51 PM  
Anonymous Leah said...

My boyfriend says if he ever opened up a hair salon, it would be called "A Little Off the Top." And the stylists wouldn't wear shirts. Now that's what I call "klassy."

2/6/07, 3:56 PM  
Anonymous Charlotte said...

Wow. I LOVED this more than I can express. As a 40-year-old 'Third Culture Kid' (figure that age inconsistency out) who grew up on both coasts and overseas, I am woefully trapped in Indiana at the moment (not for much longer, if there is ANY kind of divine force in the universe.)
I think I blew an aneurysm over your 'Indiana' entry. For the record, my hair fits no midwestern criteria - whew !- but the benefits of Hoosier Livin' are that this is a great place to people-watch, and that we have some of the best salon names in the land. I could go on for hours with examples, but my very favorite is 'BEAUX CHEVAUX.' (Granted, just one letter off, but the intended 'Beautiful Hair' immediately morphs into 'Beautiful Horses.' Somebody wasn't paying attention in French class...
MY salon? 'Gorgeous'. Run by stylish girls from London (the one in England), no less.

2/7/07, 12:25 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Curl Up and Dye would be great for a place that specialized in punk/goth looks! I'd go! (Apologies if someone already made that comment. You have too many frickin' groupies and I can't read through them all. Good luck on your nominations! Yes, I'm jealous.)

2/7/07, 12:47 PM  
Blogger Jess Riley said...

In 8th grade I got the worst perm ever at a place called "Country Styles Beauty Salon." Not particularly clever or funny, but they had no business pairing the words "country" and "beauty."

2/7/07, 1:44 PM  
Blogger The other me said...

We had one near us called Herr Kutz which always made me think it was clever but I never went in in case they made me look like a German putt thrower.

2/7/07, 4:54 PM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

Oh, you're too funny! I partially grew up in the Midwest, so I know exactly what you're talking about!

2/8/07, 4:08 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

There's a salon near us called WHO CUT YOUR HAIR. Every time we drive by it we have to yell that at each other. WHO CUT YOUR HAIR. YOU TELL ME OR SO HELP YOU

2/9/07, 12:03 AM  
Blogger BlogWhore said...

ouch! that stings.

2/13/07, 3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm... I'm wondering if you've ever actually been to the "Midwest" (which is a massive, diverse area of the U.S. (and Canada), variously defined, that almost never includes Idaho.. incidentally). I recently moved to the greasy, dated (not intentionally, hiply funky/retro, like you'll find in the Midwest) diner-filled swamp that is the Washington, D.C. metro area and find myself pining for the comparatively culinarily sophisticated, organic food-loving, "exotic" culinary term-knowing (I actually had a college kid from Joysey confess he'd never heard of "pico de gallo" before I'd asked him to leave it off of my California Tortilla [a D.C. chain] black bean/veggie burrito).

Please, keep on flying over those fly-over states (on your way from Jersey to San Jose, or wherever you're coming from/going to).

I'd go on to explain that helmet hair is a middle-aged female phenomenon that really has nothing to do with one particular geographic region, but I'm tired of talking to you.

4/14/08, 6:22 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Anon 4/14, I apologize on behalf of all coastal city dwellers for the teenager working in the chain restaurant in DC who did not know the nuances of Mexican condiments. Kids these days.

Anyhow good luck at Beaux Chevaux. I hear every horse that comes out of there looks amazing.

4/14/08, 7:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mom101--you're actually pretty funny when you stick to pure sarcasm and wordplay. Your satire, however, is abysmal. Remedy the cultural geographic ignorance and try again, why don't you? :)

5/5/08, 4:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I currently live in Chicago and I used to live in Manhattan. I think the women in Chicago are just as fashionable as you "East Coasters". What is the bias against the Midwest? The entire time I lived in NYC I had to deal with your snobbery. Enough already! Just because Chicago is far cleaner, more beautiful, and friendlier than NYC...? The more you criticize us the more I think to myself, "Jealous much?"

7/31/08, 4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just read this today. I am from & still live in Indiana. I went to a wedding in Indiana about a month ago. The bride is from New York (her parents moved here while she was in college; she followed them once she graduated).

On of her brothers & his wife are from New York & still live there. Well, the wife showed up at the wedding with a scrunchy in her hair. I about died and wondered why on earth someone from New York wouldn't know better than to wear a freakin' scrunchy EVER, let alone to your sister-in-law's wedding!!!

My mom had midwestern hair & did the every Friday salon thing when I was a kid. She's been dead almost 5 years now. What I wouldn't give to see her midwestern hair again. :)

11/3/08, 12:54 PM  
Anonymous deborah l quinn said...

okay, I know this is an old post, but it cracks me up - I AM from the midwest and had huge post-Farrah hair (some of which disappeared during a bad encounter with a bong, but that's another story) - but right here on 2nd avenue in Manhattan: Haironymous. As in, you know, Bosch. Why would you want to get your hair cut there, I'm wondering?

5/24/09, 8:17 PM  
Blogger kilgore said...

Chiming in on this a few years later because I have to share the name of a local hair salon: Hair Force One.

That is all.

7/2/09, 11:31 AM  
Anonymous notacoastie said...

so, if you're wondering why i am commenting years after this was posted, it's because the new girl linked to this.

I'm just going to say that I think it's hilarious that someone who equates pico de gallo with nuanced mexican cuisine can mock midwesterners for lack of sophistication. i mean c'mon. it's pico de gallo. taco bell has it.

2/27/10, 1:19 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Notacoastie

Oh silly. Pico De Gallo doesn't make Mexican cuisine nuanced. Pace picante salsa does!

Duh.

2/27/10, 7:02 AM  
Blogger jack smith said...

Generally, the experts offering you these courses will ensure that you are offered an ample and appropriate training with the aid of the best training expertise in town.Hairdresser training

1/3/14, 7:22 AM  
Blogger Rita Holappa said...

Here's my problem. If a clinic was serious about its treatments and really had the client's best interest at heart then why intentionally put the client on a weaker laser knowing that you're going to try and sell them the stronger laser. Money is the reason. Www.HairStudioLDK.Com

2/10/14, 12:48 PM  
Anonymous perce said...

Hi
Thanks for sharing these article marketing tips with people. This is very important information that you share. Article marketing tips are very useful for people

3/4/14, 3:39 AM  
Anonymous RVD said...

Hi
I read your post and i appreciate your efforts. The information that you share in the above article is very nice and useful .All the things that you share with people, are very nice. Thanks for this article.

3/24/14, 5:40 AM  
Blogger sathyam shonkho said...

i am at the 2nd session of IPL photofacial and its seems like i can feel my improvement

4/26/14, 11:58 AM  
Blogger Mark Smath said...

I like your blog on this topic is well-written and original. Your information is really interesting to all readers. Hope you continue to keep up with this blog and will provide us some more information like this.Salon in fresh meadows ny.

6/16/14, 7:44 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home