5.06.2007

May 6

"Well I guess we didn't win the car," were the first words out of Nate's mouth this morning--his way of acknowledging having slept through the night without a mad rush to pack a peanut butter sandwich before hightailing it to the hospital.

The free car was the least of my thoughts this morning.

I'm now officially past my due date of the 5th and on my way towards the 7th, shattering our nine month-long fantasy of having a first child born on 07/06/05 and a second on 05/06/07.

The weather is beautiful, I'm on hiatus from my dayjob, and I'm feeling about 600,000 times better than I did at this point in the last pregnancy.

So how come every time someone asks me how I'm doing I feel tears stinging the backs of my eye sockets? I'm fighting the urge to let them flow freely in front of people or I'll have to explain my feelings. Which I can't. It 's just visceral; the effects of an evil, inebriating cocktail of of anxiety, frustration, hormones and too much Entenmann's coffee cake that wreaked havoc on my blood sugar.

Yes, I feel claustrophobic in my body, itching to shed this bloated shell of limitations and discomfort. I hate my reliance on Nate, my mother, strangers, to reach that doodad for me or bend down and get that thing, or please, please, can't you rub my back, just the right side, I know you did it every night for the last week but it just hurts that much...

But despite whatever physical afflictions I'm enduring (and whining about despite my self-loathing for doing so) the emotional purgatory of the unknowable is my real Achilles heel. It always has been. I'm not one for sitting back and waiting for life to happen, and when I can't make it happen, just the way I want it, it tortures me.

Suddenly I'm envying those celebrities with their scheduled C-sections and simultaneous tummy tucks. Britney Spears, my mommy role model. Who'd have ever thought it.


30 Comments:

Blogger aka_Meritt said...

This will sound CRAZY from your side of the fence... but from mine, I'd say that knowing the baby is going to come literally any second, I'd use today to take photos of my 9th month pregnant belly, rub it, stare at it and revel in its beauty.

By next week it will be gone... the baby will be in your arms. Believe it or not you are going to look back on today with a wistful smile.


:)

5/6/07, 9:22 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

aka meritt: You're psychic. I did that yesterday. Or maybe you're my neighbor with a view into our living room?

5/6/07, 9:27 AM  
Anonymous Mir said...

Sending hugs and sympathy and more hugs. It will all be behind you soon but I know it doesn't feel that way.

5/6/07, 9:40 AM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

Oh, I remember those feelings. My last one was a week past due and I was ready to pull him out myself.

We're thinking about you and hope it is soon (for your sake much more than ours, of course!) Does Nate have instructions to get a post up ASAP so we know when she arrives? Because you have way too many nosy friends who want to know the news!

I'm sending you a virtual back rub right now. Feel any better?

5/6/07, 9:51 AM  
Blogger Suburban Hostage said...

Good for you! I totally forgot to take the photos. Will you send me some so I can pretend they're mine? (You don't know me, so I need to tell you that I'm kidding.)

Holy crap, I had no idea that they could've tucked this flap in at the same time they took the kids out. What a waste.

5/6/07, 9:51 AM  
Blogger slouching mom said...

oh, liz.

that is frustrating.

hugs to you.

5/6/07, 10:01 AM  
Anonymous madge said...

I think you need to post those pics.

XOXO

5/6/07, 10:21 AM  
Blogger Tracey said...

The birthdays would have been cool, but the day's not over yet! Good luck. Keep your chin up, cuz it'll be over soon. The end IS near, even if it feels indefinite.

5/6/07, 10:28 AM  
Blogger metro mama said...

That's the hardest part of this gig, isn't it. The complete and utter lack of of control.

Hang in there. Won't be long now.

5/6/07, 10:30 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Even though the due date is just a contrived date, it still feels lousy to go past that date and keep waiting. Hope something gets going soon. Keep working on all those natural induction techiques. (but avoid the castor oil unless you're really desperate)

I'm just hoping I don't go past my due date, because the way this kid is growing, a 10 pound baby doesn't sound appealing.

5/6/07, 10:53 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I wish they didnt give due dates. It is the best torture for an already beaten woman.

I remember sitting there as my due date passed and thinking, "Okay, your time has come. You can leave, now." Didnt help that it was my first child and I was so scared of what was going to happen and if I would know when it was happening.

I wont feel to envious of scheduled C-sections. Yes, it is nice to know the exact date baby removal will take place. However, I was left feeling that he was taken before he was ready. A doctor chose my son's b-day not him. There are bigger fish to fry, though, and he hasnt complained.

I guess you never win when it comes to kids and life. *sigh*

5/6/07, 11:05 AM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

There's something wonderful about not knowing. I envy you a bit. Annabel was an emergency C and because of that this one will be a planned C. There's some weird kind of letdown in knowing the birthday beforehand. I suppose the grass is greener ...

Although I can wallow in the letdown of passing the optimum date: The penned me in for the 19th of June. Had they sceduled me for the 18th Ittybit and Thing 2 would have shared the same day exactly three-years, six months apart. (How's that for stretching the excitement of a date?)

5/6/07, 11:08 AM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

Hang in there, sweetie. She'll be here before you know it! I'll be thinking about you ;)

5/6/07, 11:17 AM  
Blogger Kyla said...

My kids were born on 4/22/02 and 2/22/06 respectively. I don't have to waorry about birth dates, just remember who goes to which month. They were both 5 days late, though.

Hang in there. I hope you pop soon.

5/6/07, 11:43 AM  
Blogger BOSSY said...

"So how come every time someone asks me how I'm doing I feel tears stinging the backs of my eye sockets?"

Hormones, maybe? Although Bossy despises when this excuse is a blanket for everything female.

Anyway, Bossy is sweating your site for news - if she checked it more often she'd be eligible for OCD medication.

5/6/07, 12:54 PM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

Hang in there, my friend. Thinkin' of you!

5/6/07, 1:19 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

I envy you being able to anticipate your upcoming (albeit overdue -barely- labor). I never got the opportunity with any of mine (1st: next day c-section, 2nd: induced VBAC, 3rd: emergency c-section). So, enjoy. Enjoy these last few moments of your pregnancy, and your time with Thalia. It will never be the same (in a good way) again.

Enjoy.

Oh, and get as many backrubs as possible! :)

Carrie

5/6/07, 4:10 PM  
Blogger MotherBumper said...

Good golly, if you are holding Brit-Brit up as a role model for parenting... yikes! I hope it happens soon :)

5/6/07, 4:52 PM  
Anonymous binkytown said...

I realize how lame this sounds, but this baby will be here before you know it. Sleep girl, while you have the chance.

5/6/07, 8:00 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I suck at waiting. Patience is not one of my virtues. Hang in there .. don't go all Brit on us yet :)

Wishing you good good thoughts for the eventual delivery of beautiful baby # 2.

5/6/07, 8:04 PM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

I know, I know, I know. Nine months of pregnancy seems to be a lot shorter than the last few weeks where you've blown past all of the milestones and you're just waiting for the finish line to appear mysteriously out of nowhere. We're thinking of you.

5/6/07, 8:19 PM  
Blogger Suzanne said...

I wonder, have people stopped asking you when you are due?

I have been asked that tired question a million times throughout the whole pregnancy... until of course I was overdue. Since then I keep waiting for that very question so I could blurt out, "Last Wednesday," just to see how folks would react to that. But, now that I'm overdue, no one asks anymore!

It's a little disappointing. Kind of like turning 21 and not being carded at a bar.

Anyway, I'll be thinking about you and wishing you a speedy, efficient, uneventful, labor.

And... I'm sure you're probably sick of this question too, but, have you picked a name yet - or is "packing the name books in the hospital bag," part of the peanut-butter-sandwich-fueled early labor plan?

Best of luck to you.

5/6/07, 8:47 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Ha Suzanne, such a great analogy! I am happy to report that yesterday someone asked me and I got to say "today." Also, someone (a kind, kind soul indeed) just last week asked "how many months left." I'm keeping that one close to my heart.

Names: Close. Getting close.

5/6/07, 8:56 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

I have to admit my inner project manager was secretly pleased to know exactly how birth #2 was going down.

But that still didn't curtail the consumption of sugar-laden goodies in the final weeks.

5/6/07, 8:57 PM  
Anonymous reluctant housewife said...

I literally feel your pain sister. I was there not so long ago.

Then the baby came and I was reminded of what life with a newborn is like. I HATED IT when people told me this, but try to enjoy the relative peace?

I was hoping for a 5/6/7 baby for you. I really was.

5/6/07, 9:24 PM  
Anonymous Selfmademom said...

I'm so sorry you're late! I remember waddling into a diner 40 weeks pregnant on my due date, and the waitress asking me when I was due and getting to tell her "today"! The look on her face was priceless. Needless to say the greasy french dip sandwich didn't do much to start labor (it took 11 more days to have my son.) I suggest you try a french dip slathered in hot sauce. Maybe you'll have better luck than I. Good luck!

5/6/07, 9:31 PM  
Blogger Aurelia Bell said...

Baby boy came two days late; he was due on a Saturday and Friday night I yanked the phone out of the wall because if I had to hear "Are you in labor yet" I was going to kill someone. No, thank you, I am not contorted with pain at this moment, which when I said this, they would sigh and say "Hopefully soon!" Um, yeah. But by Sunday afternoon, I was desperate for pain - anything to get him the hell out of my huge belly.

I feel ya sista.

5/6/07, 9:40 PM  
Blogger Parent said...

Sorry. I think I like Portis over Close and Getting Close.
HEH.

Okay. Just think of all the fabulous days left!

My Birthday
Mother's Day
Memorial Day (HAHA Kidding)

5/6/07, 9:42 PM  
Blogger Parent said...

And parent is me Kristen (MU)
My alter ego -- apparently google thinks I'm a parent.

5/6/07, 9:42 PM  
Blogger cce said...

As my Mom always liked to say when I was moaning about being late..."It's easier to take care of them when their contained within the uterus. Once they're out it's a whole new set of anxieties." I know this doesn't help. In fact it's infuriating. And, both times I totally discounted this little bit of maternal wisdom and order inductions because I am nothing if not impatient.

5/7/07, 6:07 AM  

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