11.29.2007

A Message From Above? Or Just Bad Timing

There's something just painful about waiting in a cafe behind a skinny little thing with her skinny little ass poking out the top of her skinny little jeans who's ordering the hummus sandwich but ummmm...I kinda don't really want the bread so can you just put it on a plate with lettuce? Oh, and to drink, ummmm...a hot water with lemon?

All while I'm about to order the chocolate peanut butter brownie.


35 Comments:

Blogger PunditMom said...

I hope you tripped her as she turned to leave! Tee-hee! Sorry -- I couldn't help myself! ;)

11/29/07, 2:39 PM  
Blogger Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Ah. Poor girl. She must be so hungry and weak.

And HOT water with lemon? Ew.

11/29/07, 2:51 PM  
Blogger Loukia said...

How can you eat hummus with no pita bread! Sucks to be her! Although when I did Atkins I gave up my carbs. I lost weight but as soon as I reached my goal I gained it all back. A no carb diet works but won't last forever unless you give up carbs forever and if you give up carbs forever life will suck.

11/29/07, 3:10 PM  
Blogger Becoming Mommy said...

Blegch...except for the hummus that sounded nasty.
She needed some tea at least in that hot water...
And that hummus and lettuce needed some fried eggplant, roast lamb, tomatoes, feta and pita. With a side of Baklava. And maybe tiropita or dolmades?

Maybe this is why I'm chubby...ah well, better to better to enjoy the life you have than squander it worrying about a few pounds.

11/29/07, 3:21 PM  
Blogger Feeder of the hungry beans said...

Hot water with lemon is a classic anorexic appetite suppressant. Not to give anyone out there ideas.

11/29/07, 3:31 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

This made me laugh! Annoying I know. Wha-who for the cookies!

11/29/07, 4:13 PM  
Blogger NG said...

So... whom do you think is enjoying life more? You?... or Breadless Hummus Ass?

Hand me a brownie too.

11/29/07, 4:14 PM  
Blogger Tootsie said...

did you tackle her and force feed her a brownie? That would have been totally acceptable, if not down right humanitarian of you.

11/29/07, 4:43 PM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Yeah, let's one up that skinny bread-hatin' bitch and become French.

They have it all figured out. Bread, wine, cheese, pastry, sauces. They don't diet, not a gym to be found over there. And they are skinny.

11/29/07, 6:24 PM  
Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

bread = good
brownie = good
fat = good

hot water with lemon = bad

11/29/07, 8:06 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Yeah, I'd like to be skinnier sometimes. But not THAT badly.

Hand me a brownie too, would ya? And maybe a full-caff coffee beverage to enjoy with it? ;-)

11/29/07, 8:11 PM  
Blogger stephanie said...

I think this is the official menu of Crazy People, sandwiches without bread and hot water. With lemon.

I'm suddenly starving just thinking about this poor woman...

Rejoice in the brownie! Order it loudly & proudly :)

11/29/07, 8:59 PM  
Blogger Girl con Queso said...

I think it's a sign that being skinny is completely not worth it. Viva la brownies!

11/29/07, 9:23 PM  
Blogger Bon said...

i was behind that same ass in its skinny jeans today at Subway...except, to my veggie-sub-loving surprise, she got this baloney and lunch meat sub with extra mayo and no veg except pickles, on white bread. and sat down and ate it, all the while with me staring at her in confusion.

i swear, she weighed six pounds. must be malnutrition.

11/29/07, 10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I probably would have smacked her one! And ordered 2 brownies so I could eat one for her.

11/29/07, 10:06 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

bon, she was not a New Yorker with that order. That's all I can say.

11/29/07, 10:27 PM  
Blogger Julie Pippert said...

Someday she will realize it's not worth it because (a) they won't love you for your starvation and (b) nobody has been discovered in the modern equivalent of a malt shop (aka Starbucks) like...ever.

Julie
Using My Words

11/29/07, 11:06 PM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

In my book, YOU'RE a skinny little thing. Have the brownie!

11/30/07, 12:13 AM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

Oh, Liz. If I had a dollar for every time... Every day. Solidarity, sister.

11/30/07, 1:27 AM  
Blogger Be Inspired Always said...

I have seen that happen WAY to often. That poor girl, I'm going to order two brownies today because I never want to become THAT woman!


Jillian

11/30/07, 9:18 AM  
Anonymous esther said...

amen

11/30/07, 10:06 AM  
Blogger BOSSY said...

Bosy says: Maybe, but you will not be on your death bed wishing you had indulged in more hot lemon water.

11/30/07, 11:28 AM  
Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

What? You mean you don't have cravings for lettuce? Baaahaaaa!

I hope that PB brownie was yummmmy! You should have eaten it right in front of her to torture her.

11/30/07, 12:19 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Life is too short to skip the chocolate peanut butter brownies.

(Though I admit to enjoying a hot water with lemon... and sugar, lots of sugar. Hot lemonade is SO GOOD on the throat in winter.)

11/30/07, 1:48 PM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

Humpf??? You caught me with a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie...

http://wordgirl5.typepad.com/half_of_the_sky

11/30/07, 2:05 PM  
Blogger Jhianna said...

Huh - hot water with lemon as an appetite suppressant? I might have to try that!

(just so you don't get the wrong idea either go look at my profile or know that I'd have been ordering the chocolate peanut butter brownie but after hearing her order I'd have added the hummus with pita bread and throw in her pita too please! Mmmmm, pita and hummus LOL)

11/30/07, 3:21 PM  
Blogger caramama said...

I love a hummus sandwich, but with no bread? Huh?

That chocolate peanut butter brownie sounds good! Even better than the 2 cookies I had after a huge steak burrito.

I've gotta have my desert. It's for the baby, really. She needs it in the breastmilk. Really.

11/30/07, 3:58 PM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

I feel sorry for her, missing out on the brownie.

11/30/07, 4:12 PM  
Blogger b*babbler said...

You really have to feel bad for her. All that energy expended on denying herself anything caloric. It's sad, really.

11/30/07, 9:41 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Sounds like a nice appetizer. Too bad she didn't order a real meal with it, too.

If it wasn't for my crazy breastfeeding appetite not letting me ever turn away food, I would want to shove that brownie into her mouth.

11/30/07, 10:41 PM  
Blogger movin'mom said...

THIS is my life...

only I wish I were playing the part of the skinny little hot water drinker!!!

But really.......who's living life? Hummous on lettuce?

12/1/07, 12:30 AM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

. . .but, if you both walked outside and were hit by a bus, who would be the happier with her 'last meal'?

And, I bet you still had better boobs.

12/1/07, 7:32 AM  
Blogger Mitzi Green said...

God, I hope you ate her.

12/1/07, 8:56 PM  
Blogger Meesh said...

Life is too short to eat chickpeas, lettuce and lemon.

Eat brownies, rejoice, and take comfort that no one rolled their eyes when you ordered it!

12/2/07, 11:50 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Hot f*ing water with lemon? Yikes! Her life is obviously devoid of pleasure (or so I will choose to believe...)

12/5/07, 7:31 AM  

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