50-100 calories an hour. Or about 4 calories in 3 minutes.

"Mommy, what were you doing with daddy?"

"We were cuddling, sweetie."

"Yes, but why was daddy on top of you? And then you were on top of daddy?"

"Well, we were hugging. Just hugging and cuddling. Um...how long were you standing there anyway?"

"You were exercising mommy! Were you exercising with daddy?"

"That's right Thalia, we were exercising. That's exactly right."



Anonymous foodmomiac said...

oh, how I dread that day.

8/14/08, 10:17 AM  
Blogger Whirlwind said...

We recently installed a lock on our door. However, it hasn't stopped Moe from standing out side the door and yelling it "what you guys doing in there?"

8/14/08, 10:27 AM  
Blogger slouching mom said...



8/14/08, 10:30 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Wait until she tells all her friends that you are an exercise fiend! And all your friends, too! Hysterical.

8/14/08, 10:44 AM  
Anonymous Caroline said...

We had one close call and have been locking the door ever since. Nice recovery tho, seriously, I am impressed!

8/14/08, 10:49 AM  
Blogger RuthWells said...

Oh, the humanity. Door locks, stat!

8/14/08, 10:57 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

When my husband was young, he asked his Dad why he was fixing the bed and how it got broken in the first place. His Dad answered, "Mom and I were wrestling."

8/14/08, 10:57 AM  
Blogger Mandy said...

I am praying we never have that conversation in our house!

8/14/08, 11:15 AM  
Blogger Lara said...

it's been too long since i got a good workout.

(and i'm sure you all SO needed to know that too.)

8/14/08, 11:21 AM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

(snorting coffee out my nose!)

8/14/08, 11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is horrible I had a VERY similar situation..... horrible, horrible!!!!

8/14/08, 11:38 AM  
Blogger heels said...


8/14/08, 11:45 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...


We escaped from the toddlers. But here's a thought for all of you -- teenagers. They live in your home, they know more and they stay up late and come and go much more at will. At least I feel they'd be far more scarred than I would.

There, something new to worry about.

8/14/08, 12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We had that happen just recently, only the question was "Are you wrestling with Daddy?" When Daddy said yes, someone said "I wrestle too!" and tried to crawl into bed with us. It's amazing how quickly you can find pants when you need to.

8/14/08, 12:38 PM  
Blogger Little Read Hen said...

Seriously, I'm not sure I could handle that. Aiyeye!

8/14/08, 12:50 PM  
Anonymous FearandParentinginLasVegas said...


8/14/08, 1:03 PM  
Anonymous Amber said...

In response to my inquiry my mom once explained to me that "making love" was when two people really loved each other and kissed and hugged and shared their love. I was satisfied with this answer. Fast forward a couple of weeks, my mom goes to her first back-to-school night (kindergarten). As soon as the teacher realizes who my mother is she exclaims "Well finally, Mrs. K, I've been dying to meet you! Amber tells us that you and your husband make love all over the kitchen every night!"

8/14/08, 1:12 PM  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

Oy. And my big worry so far has been how to explain why it is okay for me to put a tampon in my own vagina but not okay for my girl to stick things in hers.

8/14/08, 1:17 PM  
Anonymous Mir said...

Better you than me.

And thank the good lord above for door locks, world without end, amen.

8/14/08, 1:22 PM  
Blogger Karen Sugarpants said...

Note to our house builder: please ensure there is a lock on the master retreat.
Yikes, Mama!

8/14/08, 1:37 PM  
Blogger Assertagirl said...

"Mommy and Daddy want to be healthy and strong!"

Their naivety comes in handy at times, doesn't it?

8/14/08, 1:58 PM  
Blogger sweetney said...

snort. BUSTED!

8/14/08, 2:03 PM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Aaaand now I have water all over my computer screen. That's what I get for drinking while reading this. Thanks a lot.

8/14/08, 3:24 PM  
Blogger Gray Matter said...

So, uh, what WERE you doing? I don't get it.

8/14/08, 3:32 PM  
Blogger susan said...

Ha Ha. We've had this come up, except the toddler walks in and wants to get on the bed, too. Thank goodness he's still easily distracted!

8/14/08, 3:46 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

Now is the time to say, "You never, ever exercise with your little friend from down the block".

I so hope this never happens to us.

8/14/08, 3:51 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Oh Amber! HiLARious!

Fairly Oddmother - I will take that advice to heart.

And Grey Matter? We were doing pushups. Clearly.

8/14/08, 3:55 PM  
Blogger Issas Crazy World said...

Wrestling. Trust me on this one, go with wrestling. Even if she doesn't know what it is yet, it will make her not think back and freak out one day when she learns what you were really doing.

Least you weren't in the kitchen wrestling when she saw you.

8/14/08, 3:56 PM  
Blogger Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Her future kindergarten teacher will hear ALL ABOUT THIS! Trust me, I'm a teacher, I know things parents never want anyone to know!

8/14/08, 4:25 PM  
Anonymous Motherhood Uncensored said...

How many calories does "exercising" alone burn?

8/14/08, 4:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oooohmygod. You're my hero of the day. :)

8/14/08, 5:02 PM  
Blogger Digits said...

Oh, the time is coming... I know at some point I will forget to lock the door!

8/14/08, 5:26 PM  
Blogger Kyla said...

Ha. Hahahaha.

8/14/08, 6:36 PM  
Blogger Cherie said...

Well I was going to tell you about teenagers... but Jen has already said it all. Try getting any sweet loving with teenagers around!

8/14/08, 6:51 PM  
Blogger Petra said...

Oh yes, we have had this conversation. Except my stepson said "why was Daddy spanking you Mimmy?" We were trying so hard not to laugh that we couldn't even say anything. I said "no, he wasn't spanking me, he was putting rash cream on my bum." Yeah, I am not the best at thinking on my feet!

8/14/08, 6:52 PM  
Blogger CheekySweetie said...

Hahahhahaha! If you haven't seen the "Art Show" Tostitos commercial, you should see it, it reflects this post a bit: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x154qk_tostitos-art-show_ads

(On a side note, my spellcheck suggested "Prostitutes" for Tostitos! LOL)

8/14/08, 7:00 PM  
Blogger the new girl said...


8/14/08, 7:54 PM  
Blogger Anissa Mayhew said...

I will never forget us looking up and realizing 4 y.o. is watching most perturbed. "Will you knock it off, Daddy? You're hurting her!"

Oh sweet jesus, she'll be driving her car one day, have a flashback of that memory and drive straight into a tree.

8/14/08, 8:38 PM  
Blogger Nichole said...


I wanted to pop in and say I saw you in Parents' September issue! You go girl!

8/14/08, 11:01 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Oh shoot Nichole, I've been outed. Now I suppose I have to write about it huh.

8/14/08, 11:07 PM  
Blogger Elaine A. said...

I live in fear of this happening at our house. Thanks for letting me know it would be alright if it did......... I guess.

p.s. found your blog because I saw you in the latest issue of Parents. How cool!

8/14/08, 11:29 PM  
Blogger Jozet at Halushki said...

Heh heh heh heh heh.

At least...

Uh, you know what? I'm not even going to finish that sentence.

But there's s great joke about a kid walking in on mommy "jewelry shopping" I'll tell you sometime.

8/15/08, 1:25 AM  
Blogger Zip n Tizzy said...

You handled yourself well.

8/15/08, 2:39 AM  
Blogger Miss Grace said...

About once a month I read or hear about a walking-in-on story, either from the traumatized child or the traumatized parent, and EVERY TIME I thank everything and everyone I can thank that that has never happened to me, in either role. Phew. Thank god.

8/15/08, 12:27 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

damn, woman! you got so lucky!

when emily "caught" us the first time, she was all "daddy, you need to tell mommy to put some pants on!" i couldn't look at her for days!

8/15/08, 1:59 PM  
Blogger Miller Time said...

My 4 year-old caught us in the act and asked what we were doing. I said just wrestling. And he said, "Do it again so I can watch." I about died.

8/16/08, 12:44 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh no. Time to start locking the door I guess?

(We haven't been caught yet. I know it will happen eventually, though.)

8/18/08, 12:15 AM  
Anonymous Rebekah said...

miller time- I just peed a little. lol absolutely hilarious!

8/28/08, 4:18 AM  
Anonymous La Petite Belle said...

holy crap! you got busted! haha, my kids haven't walked in on us yet... YET!

8/29/08, 4:23 PM  
Blogger sarraphim said...

My mother just had my Gramma watch me whenever they were trying to give me siblings... *shrugs* Hopefully I'll live near enough to relatives or friends who'll watch the little fiends when we're trying to make more of them...

9/7/08, 6:14 PM  

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