Goodness and Light and Rainbows and Warm Fuzzies and Happy Faces and Hearts Over the i in Liz

You, blogosphere (or whatever the cool kids call it these days - blog world? Blogdom? Computer people?), you are amazing.

I needed you and you were there

People I know and love, and then people I've never known but wish I did so that I could buy you each some pie.

And especially you, Laura. We're in this PMDD thing together, although hopefully not for long.

For the first time perhaps in the history of Mom-101, I was nervous to post. I wasn't as nervous when I admitted my dog wasn't my child, or that I let my children cry it out, or that I stopped breastfeeding at six months. But this week, admitting to a possible unwanted pregnancy, boy, I was nervous.

Thank you to those of you who said supportinve things, all of which I read and re-read and read out loud while hugging myself and humming Melissa Etheridge in my head and sweating estrogen out my pores. Thanks also to those of you who wanted to say not such supportive things but stayed out of it because my need to be supported trumped your need to express a different opinion. That is true emotional maturity and you will probably be like Ghandi or something in your next life. Ghandi with an unlimited supply of pie.

(Yes, I have pie on the brain. That is the other thing about menstruation - you don't have a baby, and you want to eat pie.)

Last week while I was away on vacation, from the little I could garner from my limited internet service, I saw the worst of blogging: A site started for the sole purpose of making mean anonymous comments about BlogHer attendees; a bizarre series of emails and posts and attacks from a blogger "jealous" (her words) about "famous" (her words) bloggers who "get on a plane every three days" (As Rita put it -"!"); friends fending off trolls of all manners. Not such good timing for confessing my deepest inner thoughts here.

But you? You reminded me it was okay to be true to myself.

I'll shut up now. I'm getting sappy.

Now any tips on convincing a reluctant guy to get his man parts taken care of? For a friend, I mean. Right. A friend.


Blogger Lisa said...

... You're my blogging idol...

That said im hitting all of your links from this post...

8/4/08, 10:01 PM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

Thank goodness for the "good" bloggers. We need each other.

8/4/08, 10:22 PM  
Blogger Assertagirl said...

Yay for positivity. Just wanted to say your post is making me feel warm and fuzzy about the internet, something I've needed (haven't we all?) lately.

8/4/08, 10:41 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

You put your guy on the phone with my guy, and he'll tell him about it. I just recall a bag of frozen peas and a couple of days of movie watching and all was well. (personally, I think he milked the movie watching, but that's just between you and I).

And, um, everything works just fine now.

Glad the internet showed you love. You get back what you give out, you know?

8/4/08, 10:42 PM  
Blogger Velma said...

I've been working on my DH for a while. He's not opposed, just too damn busy to even schedule a dental cleaning, much less a surgical procedure involving his precious gonads.

My SIL and I are trying to talk our guys into a two-fer, where we send them in for the snip together and then wait on them for a few days. They'll get to bond and watch Man T.V., and we'll get to drink in the kitchen and giggle about what wussies they are while trading childbirth stories.

8/4/08, 11:06 PM  
Blogger Tracee said...

seriously there's a whole site of hateful jealous people?

I see them a lot on the Kate Gosselin posts I've done over at Blog Fabulous. Here's the theme - they hate women who get any success. I mean ANY. They only like wretched poor, damaged women. That's their theme. Sounds like the same folks.

8/4/08, 11:12 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

Well, it was a third pregnancy that convinced Kyle...

But just to seal the deal, I got him an appointment with a urologist who had been Miss Florida a few years ago. I'll send you her card.

8/4/08, 11:20 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

you rock & your FANS love ya :)
take care & know we're thinking about you!

8/4/08, 11:22 PM  
Blogger Petunia Face said...

I don't think I commented on that last post but I meant to so I'm going to pretend you were talking about me, how fabulous I am and how my support got you through a tough time. Because if I could've said the perfect thing I would have. Your blog rocks and your writing has gotten me through the very narrow opening of a rock and a hard place before. Thanks, and keep at it por favor!

8/4/08, 11:35 PM  
Blogger CheekySweetie said...

I'm so happy my words helped! Here's a heart over the i for ya, haha!

PS I totally want Dr Ex-Miss Florida's number!

8/4/08, 11:57 PM  
Blogger CheekySweetie said...

PPS That totally didn't format right, lmao!

8/4/08, 11:58 PM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

Is the obvious "promise more frequent sex" carrot off the table?

How about the "promise way less frequent sex because we could get accidentally pregnant like I thought I was last week" stick?

8/5/08, 12:19 AM  
Anonymous sherry said...

I'm so sorry I missed your original post, but...all I can say is things work out exactly the way they're supposed to. Two is a lovely number. My favorite, actually.

Good luckins on fixing those man parts. When you figure out how to do it, pass that nugget along to the rest of us, won't you?

8/5/08, 12:26 AM  
Blogger Lara said...

i'm going to hijack your comments to tell you a story.

after i was born, my dad got laid off from his high school teaching job. fortunately, he got another job at a new school for the coming school year. he was a football coach, though, and the new school would have to play his old school in football early in the year.

my mom and dad had wanted only two children, and i was #2, so my dad was going to get his "bits" taken care of. his appointment just happened to be the day after the football game against his former school. the players from his new school were ragging him at practice, asking if he was loyal to them or to the old school. so he made them a deal - he promised if they won the game, he would shave his "bits." they, not knowing about his procedure and being a bunch of high school guys, found this HILARIOUS and decided they MUST win the game.

they worked their butts off, and they did, in fact, win the game. on monday, they demanded proof, and my dad agreed to flash a few of them as evidence. (clearly a different time, when coaches and players who were pretty close in age could have closer relationships than they can now.) he did, just quick enough so they wouldn't notice the bruising around the area that came from the surgery.

from then on, the players knew that he was LOYAL, and they all loved him.

the end. hope you didn't mind my rambling story. just tell nate to use the procedure as an excuse to flash a bunch of high school boys. maybe that'll help? ;)

8/5/08, 12:46 AM  
Blogger Mandy said...

There will always be negative people out there and "anonymous" posting seems to have brought out some truly cowardly/unhappy people. But they will always be the minority.

8/5/08, 1:02 AM  
Blogger Tracey said...

Heh. If you figure THAT one out, let me know. I just mentioned to my husband today, over a bowl of man n cheese, that he needed to think about the big snip.

I do believe I could actually HEAR him cringe...

8/5/08, 1:21 AM  
Blogger Lady M said...

and unicorns and fluffy pink tutus to you too.

When my heart is heavy, I feel buoyed by knowing the support is there, in blogsylvania.

8/5/08, 1:43 AM  
Anonymous Karen (miscmum) said...

Happy Rainbows back to you, hon. Passing on a light, you are, 'cause I've had some lovely women click over to me today, from you. The world can be such a groovy place.

8/5/08, 5:53 AM  
Blogger Bragger said...

There's another option...... I have a Merina (?) IUD, and not only does it provide the same level of birth control as the pill, but I have NO MORE PERIODS! Yay! May not be for everybody, but works well for me and my I'll-be-damned-if-anybody-comes-near-THAT-with
a-scalpel husband.

8/5/08, 5:56 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Tracey, "man n cheese" may be the single best typo-slash-Freudian slip ever.

8/5/08, 8:07 AM  
Anonymous Amy said...

I have heard that some guys are squeamish about that. My husband has chosen going in for the quick, office procedure rather than me being strapped down to a table with a tube stuffed down my throat for an invasive procedure. It's all in how you look at it.

8/5/08, 8:39 AM  
Blogger MamaChristy said...

I think the cost of real estate in New York should be reason enough to justify the big "V". Good luck

8/5/08, 9:16 AM  
Blogger Kyla said...

I missed that last post, we've been busy with The Drama that is KayTar in the hospital...but, here is a bit of belated support, mostly because I can't resist the promise of pie.

8/5/08, 10:31 AM  
Blogger caramama said...

I agree with Fairly Odd Mother--you, Liz, are getting back what you give. So warm fuzzies and unicorns and lots of pie back at ya!

Personally, I try to stay away from all the negativity. I don't need any more of that in my life than what comes to me without looking for it.

I like Backpacking Dad's suggestions about the V! I'm going to save that for my hubby when the time comes.

8/5/08, 12:16 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

I have Mirena because my husband was dragging his feet when it came to getting to Dr. Snippy's office. Although he said that he would get it done when it was coming towards the end of the Mirena usefulness. The thought of another baby did it for him. I tried to barter for another baby the other night and got shut down hardcore.

8/5/08, 12:25 PM  
Blogger Jamie said...

It is so funny to me how easy it is to assume people will judge and not understand - we can so easily forget that we all have "less then picture perfect thoughts" I am so glad that you blogged the truth it gives us all inspiration to do the same!

8/5/08, 12:38 PM  
Blogger Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Seriously, my husband had it done, and I quote, "It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!" I even went for a mom's night out the evening after the surgery. Get him to talk to some men who've had it done, it's nothing. NOTHING COMPARED TO PUSHING HUMAN BEINGS OUT OF YOUR VAGINA!!!!! Be careful if he does get it done, though--I have two friends now pregnant AFTER their husbands had it done!

8/5/08, 2:05 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

My husband had it done and it was the best thing that ever happened to our relationship. Yes, there are days I'm not so sure I'm totally happy about the decision, but then I remember how much I hated pregnancy and I feel better. It'll take about 2 weeks for him to feel better after it. Oh, and it's an in office procedure that lasts like 20 minutes, so it's perfect for busy guys!

8/5/08, 2:24 PM  
Anonymous maria said...

Oy...popping out of the woodwork and saying I hear ya. I am catching up, after being gone a few and had a similar scare on what would have been my 4th, but wasn't.

Honey, just close your own shop. It isn't so bad, and the benefits far outweigh the what if's ever visiting again. Luck

8/5/08, 2:54 PM  
Anonymous WickedStepMom said...

I am so glad that you are feeling better.

P.S. For the man part fixing... "Honey, if you get fixed we won't be able to have sex for 3 week. If I get fixed, it will be 3 months."

8/5/08, 4:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, even though I disagreed with some of your post, I get the whole "OH FUCK" of the situation. Any woman who wants to get on her soap box with you after what you've been through ought to be sentenced to 16 months of pregnancy with sextuplets.

As for your guy: Would he rather get married or have a vasectomy? (I'm guessing the snip, so you only have to PRETEND to want to get married.)

8/5/08, 4:09 PM  
Blogger Anissa Mayhew said...

You get to be honest and raw here because it's YOUR space and what makes others jealous or irritable make those loyal to your words love you more. So keep smoking the rainbow, my friend! <--that wasn't a weirdly veiled drug offer either.

8/5/08, 4:46 PM  
Blogger Mitzi Green said...

about that last question...as soon as i figure it out, i'll happily let you know. i've got some "man parts" that need taking care of, myself, and an equally unwilling owner of said man parts.

8/5/08, 8:51 PM  
Blogger the new girl said...

I missed the post but would gladly support you.


P.S. I love, love, love the title of this post.

8/5/08, 9:23 PM  
Anonymous mrs. q. said...

Glad you are in a happy place.

I just got my period. For the first time in TWO YEARS.

Not a happy place.

8/6/08, 9:53 AM  
Anonymous Vicki said...

My hubby talked to a doc just this morning about having that done. The doc said we give you two valiums, one to take before you get here and if you still need it, one when you get here. You go to sleep. We do surgery. Wife drives you home. You sleep some more. Spend a day or two sitting on the couch not doing much. You're all better and you can try out your new toy!

See, its not that bad!!

8/6/08, 9:56 AM  
Blogger Georgia said...

After a couple days absence I just read your big scary post, and wow, I'm sorry to hear about your rough patch...and I hope that's all it is: a rough patch.

8/6/08, 5:05 PM  
Blogger Cynthia said...

feels weird wishing you well since i only know you through your blog, but i wish you the best. i was pregnant and then a new mom in post-katrina new orleans and am just now realizing that i was having a REALLY hard time of it. you're brave to put yourself out there. thanks for giving us readers a community.

8/6/08, 6:16 PM  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Yeah, what is WITH the Internet lately? Lots of vitriol out there all of a sudden. Fortunately, this is perfect timing with school starting and all for me to take a little bit of a break from reading all but my closest friends' blogs... Good Lord.

And if you can convince your "friend" to get his man bits, you know, un-manned, tell me what you said. Because I'm thinking that wouldn't be such a bad idea over here, either!

8/6/08, 7:52 PM  
Blogger susan said...

I'm a little late to the party, but I agree with wickedstepmom and her suggestion. You might point out the a permanent solution for you is major surgery and for him it's an in-office procedure.

8/10/08, 1:06 PM  
Blogger Vivienne's World said...

I just got back from vacation and read the prior post and this one too. Thanks for being real and speaking out. I've lurked for quite awhile but now I have to say thanks for being my "blog" friend! I wish I could blog like you. I hope you feel better soon. Good luck talking N into the little v.

8/12/08, 2:46 PM  
Blogger The Frog said...

Debating whether or not to post, yet another, "Thanks for posting this" comment on your blog, because I can't think of anything clever to say..... but uh... thanks for posting.


More internet warm fuzzies coming your way.

8/17/08, 10:44 AM  

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