7.15.2008

BlogHer '08 Conference FAQ

I'm Speaking at BlogHer 08

What do I wear?
Sweetney will be wearing a prom dress and I suggest you follow suit.

How will I meet people?
There is a secret handshake that will be revealed if you know the secret code word. You can find it out at the secret party that everyone else got an invitation to besides you.

Do I have to go to every panel?
They're actually less panels than court-required classes to keep some of us out of prison. Attendance will be taken and violators' names will be projected on the ballroom screen and shamed.

Will I get free stuff?
Yes, and you are obliged to complain about it in return.

What is the weather like in San Francisco?
It gets very hot in July, like 105, 110. Celsius. Like I said, hot.

How will I get to the hotel from the airport?
Sadly, there is no transportation in most large North American cities. But on the positive side, by the end of the weekend you'll be in the best shape of your life.

Isn't this all just some big man-hating thing?
Oh yes. In fact one of the attending male guests will be drawn at random, then sacrificed. It's always the highlight of the weekend next to the bra-burning mixer and armpit hair challenge.

Will Dooce talk to me?
If you can spot her. She'll be the one walking around with a big black rectangular bar over her eyes.

Will Mom-101 talk to me?
Probably not.

What if I show up with a booger hanging out of my nose and everyone calls me "Booger Nose" all weekend?
You will blog about it and find instant popularity.


34 Comments:

Blogger Black Hockey Jesus said...

Getting sacrificed by a bunch of Mom Bloggers would be so hot.

7/15/08, 10:07 AM  
Blogger canape said...

I didn't try the booger last year, but I did walk through the conference center with my the back of my skirt tucked into my panties.

Sadly, it did not help my popularity. I think people were just intimidated by my buns of steel.

7/15/08, 10:42 AM  
Blogger Backpacking Dad said...

My wife says I can be sacrificed as long as I'm home by midnight.

7/15/08, 11:20 AM  
Blogger Astrogirl426 said...

I am currently fighting the evil pangs of jealousy (and the humidity - oy) that I won't be attending BlogHer. Hope you enjoy - wait, what am I saying? Any event that includes wine, human sacrifices, and bra burning is guaranteed to be a hit. Can't wait to hear about every last humiliating detail!

7/15/08, 11:26 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Schmitty said...

I wish I could go burn my bra and be snubbed by you. That would be awesome. Can I take you up on it next year? Hopefully.

7/15/08, 11:41 AM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

I love that Dooce will be wearing her eye bar. At least you'll know which one is her.

And, you forgot to mention that only "A" list bloggers can sit together and they will scorn any "B" listers who try to communicate with them. Just like high school.

Sigh. Sounds like fun. I'd love to see a male sacrifice.

7/15/08, 11:47 AM  
Blogger Magpie said...

I feel so much better.

7/15/08, 12:11 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

You forgot you've got to find the first light-weight who passes out after the obligatory drinking challenge and PUT STUFF ON THEM for post fodder.

7/15/08, 12:13 PM  
Anonymous Procrastamom said...

See, that's why I'm not coming...for all those reasons right there. I knew the rumours were true!

7/15/08, 1:25 PM  
Anonymous crazedparent/charlene said...

i have my fake booger ready.

7/15/08, 2:07 PM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

I love it. Everyone's fears confirmed in one fell swoop! See ya all Friday!

7/15/08, 3:52 PM  
Blogger Lara said...

i absolutely cannot wait to wander around insecurely and be completely ignored by you and the other "cool kids." seriously, it'll be awesome. just like middle school was.

7/15/08, 5:40 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Aw now, you're just being evil.

7/15/08, 6:27 PM  
Blogger Julie Pippert said...

Exqueeze me, Liz, but I do believe this might be...satire?

I'm pretty sure there is a moratorium on satire this week.

I suppose if you're being honest or facetious or sarcastic it is all right.

Otherwise, I'll have to blog about it and I hear there is no popularity like the insta-popularity of Big Blogger Baiting.

Even more than booger blogging.

(I want you to know I typo'd Bib instead of Big and changed it, but it was making me LOL.)

P.S. I know the secret handshake. I saw Paret Trap with Lindsey Lohan so HA.

7/15/08, 8:38 PM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

oh. my. God.

This. This is why I love you.

Wait?? There are parties? Did I miss something????

7/15/08, 8:48 PM  
Anonymous Veronica @ Toddled Dredge said...

Money and pregnancy will keep me from Blogher. Although maybe I could hvae given birth on the conference floor while passing a hat. I think that would get me noticed.

There's always next year.

7/15/08, 9:02 PM  
Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

Dude! You forgot to tell them about the initiation ritual. You know the one where we make all the newbies wear their underwear on outside their clothes (after we burn the bras, of course) and walk backwards for the entire first day.

7/15/08, 9:03 PM  
Blogger Belinda said...

Soooo sorry I have to stay home.

7/15/08, 9:09 PM  
Anonymous Motherhood Uncensored said...

Hahahaha.

Yeah. That's all I got.

7/15/08, 11:11 PM  
Blogger VDog said...

Even if you won't talk to me, could I get a follow on Twitter?

I'm being totally serious.

What?

Seriously.

For reals!

Bee-tee-dub, me n' the C-list girls are gonna talk smack about the A-list girls the whole time, k? Work for you?

7/15/08, 11:42 PM  
Anonymous FearandParentinginLasVegas said...

I am so the Kathy Griffin of mommybloggers. Oh well, I suppose it's better than being Corey Haim.

7/16/08, 12:36 AM  
Blogger Lady M said...

Also,

Q: Will *anyone* talk to me?
A: No. We will all be tapping away at our laptops and sending tweets.

7/16/08, 1:46 AM  
Blogger AnotherMomCreation said...

You must post the male sacrifice on Youtube.

HAHAHA@!! Now that, I'd love to see!

7/16/08, 8:18 AM  
Blogger Amelia Sprout said...

Life is so NOT fair! Anyone want to stuff me in their suitecase? I'll pay the oversize baggage fee.

7/16/08, 9:54 AM  
Anonymous Jennifer Suarez said...

LOL OMG I love your blog, you crack me up!

Someday I'd love to check out blogher in person!

7/16/08, 10:01 AM  
Blogger Velma said...

Whew! I was worried there for a minute, because I thought you weren't going to cover the booger possibility. Now that I know what to do, though, I'm feeling much calmer about the whole thing. Now I'm off to contemplate my imminent internet stardom and thinking I should change the name of my blog to "The Booger Queen."

7/16/08, 11:01 AM  
Anonymous Shamelessly Sassy said...

I heard the beds were going to be short sheeted and people were going to put cellophane on the toilet seats.

7/16/08, 1:27 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Hahaha! Love it.

You forgot to add that you can win instant popularity by blogging on Thursday night about those damn mommybloggers and how much you hate them and wish they wouldn't sit together in their little groups and be so loud. That is a guaranteed success. (Just borrow Dooce's little black rectangle for your eyes the rest of the time there.)

7/16/08, 3:25 PM  
Anonymous dorothy said...

Could we just sacrifice Corey Haim and call it a day?

7/16/08, 5:02 PM  
Blogger Jozet at Halushki said...

I won't be there. But if you check my blog on Sunday morning, I will have a very special message about Hope, Change, and Unity for everyone at BlogHer.

You're welcome.

P.S. I CAN'T believe Sweetney stole my idea to wear a prom dress! I'd tell her to her face, but I am afraid of her. She is from Baltimore, don't you know. ;-)

7/16/08, 5:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks:) I needed something fun to read as I frantically pack for tomorrow.

Fourth Breakfast

7/16/08, 8:12 PM  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

Crap, I _just_ sold my prom dress. Guess I will have to wear a bridesmaid dress instead.

7/17/08, 1:27 AM  
Blogger Grim Reality Girl said...

Wish I could be there to be there -- even if I was the Booger Nose Chick. Enjoy yourselves! Color me jealous!

7/17/08, 9:59 PM  
Blogger MadMad said...

Aw, man! I didn't know there'd be male sacrificing, or I would have made more of an effort to go!

7/21/08, 12:15 PM  

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