Maybe we'll hit the Automat next.

Only a few years ago, I was a human Zagat guide--a walking, talking compendium of everywhere in NYC that you wanted to be.

I knew where to see, where to be seen, where to be seen seeing those who want to be seen. I could point you towards strip clubs and Irish pubs and the one place in Manhattan with a mechanical bull. I could suggest the perfect place to take your drunken bachelorette party or your sober Salt Lake City parents. I even knew a little jewel of a sake bar, so exclusive, you had to enter through another restaurant entirely and head up a back stairwell just to find it.

But as we know, childbirth changes more than your bra size.

Yesterday my delusions of hipness crashed and burned as I enthusiastically recommended a favorite restaurant—that closed three years ago.

I further hear it’s been a good five years since the bridge and tunnel contingent wrested the restaurant away from hipster locals in a full-scale coup after a Friday night performance of Mamma Mia.

I am woman, hear me wimper.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw... Don't fret. Toss those gigunda jumblies around. That will surely make you (or someone) feel better.

I did the same thing when I lived in Cleveland... I lived there for 6 months and rocked the hot party scene on the water - then I went back a couple years later, bragged about it to all my friends, only to find that the whole thing had been practically SHUT down and the "warehouse" district was where are the COOL people were.

Damn those damn warehouse people.

2/21/06, 9:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just did this the other day...I told someone to go to resturant that closed. I was telling them how good the food was, the service, etc...and then someone else was like, "that closed months ago". (insert foot into mouth)

- Jon
- Daddy Detective
- www.daddydetective.com

2/21/06, 2:25 PM  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

hah. Last night I went out for Sushi with a friend in her trendy Chicago neighborhood and OHMYGAWD I felt as out of place as a prostitute at Chuck E. Cheese. Seriously. And I don't even HAVE my kid yet! There was a time when I was cool, though, I just have to remind myself of that. :)

2/21/06, 2:26 PM  
Blogger the stefanie formerly known as stefanierj said...

Oh, good, one thing motherhood can't take away from me is hipness. It's sort of the caffeine to my 7-up: never had it, never will.

I'm going to fit. right. in. in Salt Lake City, yes??

PS thanks for the heads-up about St. George. You're still a walking zagat guide for Utah, at least. But maybe that's *more* depressing than your current quandry?

2/21/06, 3:03 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Thank you my parental partners in loserdom. Our kingdom is vast. (And "prostitute in Chuck E Cheese" MrsFortune? Freakin' hysterical)

2/21/06, 5:21 PM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

I do the same thing ALL the time. I recommend bars that used to be cool, happ'nin places to be and they have either turned into sports bars or tacky restaurants or are obsolete in some other way. You are in good company, lady.

2/21/06, 8:49 PM  
Blogger Julie Marsh said...


I haven't made any erroneous recommendations yet, but I walked several blocks out of my way after an OB appointment one afternoon in an attempt to secure a couple slices of my old favorite pizza on the way back to work, only to discover that the storefront was boarded up. I was tired and frustrated, but at least I was able to use my pizza money as cab fare.

2/21/06, 10:53 PM  
Blogger The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife said...

Yeah, like stefanierj, I have never been hip or cool. Like perky breasts or a flat stomach, I cannot miss when I never had.

And yet, I still feel your pain. Once upon a time I could rattle off every US Senator and on which committees they serve. Now, I know all the Backyardigans and which one is the yeti.

Great post! Thanks for the laughs.

2/22/06, 9:26 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home