You're Good Enough, You're Smart Enough, and Doggonit, People Like You As Long As You Shower

It's two weeks to the BlogHer conference and I am already seeing a heapin' helping of nervous twittering around the 'net. And I don't mean Twittering twittering. (If you don't know what that means, you can learn about it at BlogHer, right?)

In general, there's a whole a whole lot of OMG-ing: OMG what if I don't meet anyone? And OMG what if no one likes me? And OMG what if one of the popular girls spreads rumors about me and everyone thinks I smell and someone puts a Kick Me sign on my back and then another girl trips me in the cafeteria line and I get beans all over my new shoes?

I am here to assure you that none of the above things will happen. It's a professional conference, not a gathering of the Greater Chicago Chapter of the National Mean Girls Association.

You will meet people. You will learn things. You will get to hear Elizabeth Edwards speak inspiring words. You will find many women to clink Yahootinis with, and all will be right with the world.

But just in case you don't believe me, Kristen had this idea for a BlogHer mixer: A scavenger hunt. Only with photos. So don't worry you don't have to steal Lisa Stone's license plate or Mayor Daley's steak knives to win. (Seriously, what is it about Chicagoans and meat? The entire city smells like meat. It's uncanny.)

A few brilliant women offered ideas and help, and suddenly The Great BlogHer Photo Hunt was born.

There are even serious prizes for the winners--stuff any woman would like (not just moms), like jewelry and bags and a one-night stand with your choice of Grey's Anatomy Cast Members. Yes, I have that kind of pull.

You don't have to be a parent. You don't even have to be a woman. I respect your right, men, to want to win that hot leather Rian handbag, if that is your choice.

All the rules and blah blah blah are here.

You may now resume worrying about the size of your asses.



Blogger Mary Tsao said...

Or what shoes we're going to wear. Don't forget about the shoes!!!

It's gonna be a great time for everybody. Anybody wondering if they should go, should stop wondering a buy a ticket. Pronto!

7/13/07, 4:24 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

Shoes are very important! Worth 15 points, in fact.

I'll be the one wearing Laura Ingalls braids and black nailpolish, whoring myself out for linkage. They're 10 points each, people!

7/13/07, 4:37 PM  
Blogger Lady M said...

I'm totally wearing braids. Maybe I'll make new friends!

7/13/07, 4:50 PM  
Blogger Baby in Broad said...

Great. Now I'm seriously bummed that I can't go. Scvenger hunts are the best! I cannot wait to see the pictures.

7/13/07, 5:43 PM  
Blogger prescott said...

You're not kidding about the meat. Even the wheat grass smoothies here come with a side of bacon.

7/13/07, 6:17 PM  
Anonymous Y said...

Dude. That's way too complicated for someone on The Legal Drugs.

I think anyone who gets a picture of MY ENORMOUS ASS should win, because I plan on running from any camera that I see and I have promised My Ass that the cameras WILL NOT WIN.

I hope that doesn't sound like a dare, because IT IS NOT.

7/13/07, 7:07 PM  
Anonymous Asha said...

I'll miss you -- have a fantastic time.

7/13/07, 7:08 PM  
Anonymous Kvetch said...

I have a blue cell phone!!!

7/13/07, 8:12 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

I'll have a baby with me who is attached to the boob all day long. 15 points, people! :)

7/13/07, 8:46 PM  
Anonymous Selfmademom said...

Hello, I love the scavenger hunt idea, but what's with the diss on the way Chicago smells? If you go west enough of Michigan Ave., all you smell is chocolate. I swear. By the lake? I can't vouch for that.

7/13/07, 9:01 PM  
Anonymous Selfmademom said...

I love the idea of the scavenger hunt, but what's with the diss on how Chicago smells? If you go far enough west of Michigan Ave, it only smells like chocolate. I swear. By the lake? I can't vouch for that.

7/13/07, 9:03 PM  
Anonymous mayberry said...

Girls, I'll give you a hint: I'm from one of the states that could earn you 5 WHOLE POINTS! Maybe I'll even bring a pen & paper to sweeten the deal.

7/13/07, 10:48 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

Whimper. . . Don't have TOO much fun without me! C'mon, I'll be on vacation with my husband, three kids and my mom! Beat that!

7/13/07, 11:31 PM  
Anonymous RookieMom Heather said...

I'll miss you too. And I'd be so easy to spot (nursling, red ponytail falling out in clumps, delirious smile, comfy berkeley shoes).

Darn that brother of mine for getting married.

7/14/07, 7:48 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Guess what: I'm going now.

AND I have an orange cell phone.

7/14/07, 9:33 AM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

Even though I'm not attending BlogHer, I will nevertheless worry about the size of my ass in a dramatic show of support.

7/14/07, 12:17 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

Actually, I worry more about the dwindling size of my chest with baby eating more solids and less mama milk.

7/14/07, 1:25 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Are asses one of the categories?

7/14/07, 8:46 PM  
Blogger Motherhood Uncensored said...

none of this two-fer crap.

ass? indeed i have a sizeable one.

7/14/07, 9:15 PM  
Blogger Kim Moldofsky said...

I'm going to dress to match my blog. Is there a category for that?

Also blogging at http://www.chicagomomsblog.com

7/15/07, 1:05 AM  
Anonymous Cynthia Samuels said...

Just to be a little idealistic here - I didn't meet anyone last year who wasn't as lovely and generous as it is possible to be in a crew of 750 amazing blogging women! And I have been known on most occasions to wear "sensible shoes" so if nobody's mean to ME.......
PLUS I learned an amazing amount and my world expanded to an almost hallucinagenic (howdja like THAT?) degree. So come on down! (or up..)

7/15/07, 4:03 PM  
Anonymous Liza said...

Kristen promised me in the comments on her blog that pumping pics count as nursing pics (I'm not bringing my little one), so now I have to decide just how far I'm willing to go to drum up blog traffic and meet people. :)

Seriously, though? Awesome and hilarious idea.

7/16/07, 3:30 PM  
Blogger Staci Schoff said...

I'm at peace with my ass for the moment -- I'm worried that everyone will say, "Oh my God, she wasn't kidding when she said she has NO fashion sense!"

7/17/07, 1:33 AM  
Blogger modmom said...

oooooh pictures! i'm going to check out the rules. maybe i can earn points my secret spy takes for me. i would really like to attend, but i am secretly relieved i won't expose my saggy "blogger butt" (i'm trademarking that term).

7/17/07, 11:14 PM  
Anonymous lizriz said...


7/19/07, 8:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not a blogger, but I'm a happy blog reader, and I just want to say.... to all the people going to BlogHer... I hope you will all have a wonderful time... and watch out for those women who frequent Urban Baby message boards! WTF is with those New York Chicks?!!? I'm frightened off by them, would never post there, it's like swimming with the sharks! I hope they never come to your blogs, either. With love from a non-blogger.

7/20/07, 9:41 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Ha, thanks anon. I used to be one of those UB New York Chicks but I swear I was nice 99% of the time.

They'll never read blogs--they don't know what they are. Shhh...don't tell them.

7/20/07, 6:02 PM  
Blogger Katherine said...

I'll also gladly pose for a nursing shot!

7/24/07, 3:17 AM  

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