5.28.2006

Because It's a Sloooooow Weekend in Blogsville, USA

A meme, courtesy of Issa.

I AM George W Bush, Pres'dent of the You-nited States. (I know! Can you believe it?)

I WANT to rid the word of evil-doers. Actually I don't want to do that. I just want the credit for doing it. I'd rather be playing Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06 on PS2.

I WISH good people didn't have to die. Like Ronald Reagan. And Jim Varney.

I MISS the annual Spring Fling at the Skull 'n Bones--rum punch, togas, and snorting blow off a sorority pledge's B-cups. Good times.

I HEAR that Condi scribbles, Mrs. Condoleeza R Bush in the margins of her notes during meetings. Heh.

I WONDER why bacon is just so tasty. Sometimes, during security briefings I just can't stop thinking about bacon. I wonder if other presidents had the same problem.

I REGRET that Jefferson had to go and write that constitution thing and ruin it for the rest of us.

I AM NOT a fan of the French. Them speakin' all French and everything, like they're hot stuff. What's wrong? English not good enough for 'em? F*cking French.

I DANCE around Helen Thomas' questions pretty well, don't I?

I AM NOT ALWAYS as stupid as I sound. Sometimes I just don't feel like putting the words together in the usual ways. I call it creativousness.

I WRITE good.

I CONFUSE the Axis of Evil for the Axe Effect. Which one is the deodorant again?

I NEED a beer.

I SHOULD probably help Laura with the TV Guide crossword. Movie Star Brad P---? Darn it, I'm never good at the football questions.

I START my days with fifteen minutes of tai chi and a chai latte. Ha! Fooled ya. Bet I coulda convinced you I drive a hybrid too.

I FINISH the funny pages every Sunday. Garfield is my favorite. He's always getting into trouble!

I TAG Jesus. We just talked last week and he told me he's been itchin' to do a meme.

-------

A Perfect Post


47 Comments:

Blogger carrie said...

Hee hee, thanks for the laugh. Now I can go to bed happy!

"I can write good." Classic.

5/28/06, 3:00 AM  
Blogger Jozet said...

BA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!

5/28/06, 3:59 AM  
Anonymous Nila said...

Wow, a glimpse into the mind of our president. Too funny! Too scary! Probably pretty darn close to what really goes on in that there wee little brain of his.

5/28/06, 5:26 AM  
Anonymous Christina, aka Kitty said...

In the spirit of our dimwitted president, 'what the heck is a meme'? I keep pronouncing it like the french word for grandma, but now think maybe it is 'ME' 'ME'! Can you tell I don't have a blog?

5/28/06, 7:29 AM  
Anonymous madge said...

My Dad actually watched him do the "I Miss" one. How did you know???

5/28/06, 7:49 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

I'd laugh my ass of at this if it didn't seem so true.

Mmm.. Bacon.

5/28/06, 7:52 AM  
Anonymous Kvetch said...

You are bored, aren't you? LOL! You certainly have your finger on the pulse of the presidency!Weekends are slow in Blogsville, and it's always funny to me because its when I have the most time. I am not the norm. Duh.

5/28/06, 7:54 AM  
Blogger Mega Mom said...

You really are in the right industry :)

5/28/06, 8:50 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

This was indeed a shard of brilliance.

5/28/06, 9:12 AM  
Anonymous Imperfect Mommy said...

Considering I tagged GW when I did this meme, I am psyched. I had no idea he'd actually do it!!

5/28/06, 9:58 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Laughing my ass off over here. This just too funny! Now you've really hit the bigtime since you got the W-ster (dubster?) to do a guest post. Let's see if Jesus makes an appearance somewhere now. ;-)

5/28/06, 10:09 AM  
Blogger Stefanie said...

That really showed off your creativiousness! And, oh boy, that Garfield! He likes Lasagna! He's like people!

5/28/06, 11:03 AM  
Anonymous Motherhood Uncensored said...

Damnit. How am I supposed to do any justice to this meme now.

It's on! A challenge.

5/28/06, 11:18 AM  
Blogger Pattie said...

Mrs. Condi Bush...too funny!
Um...I hate to say this but I thought Helen Thomas passed away. If I had to do one of those Who's Alive/Dead? Challenges, I would fail...miserably.
Would you hate me if I said I like George Dubya's Daddy?

5/28/06, 11:24 AM  
Anonymous neva said...

this is an excellent/hilarious/wonderfully whimsical version of this meme... and, indeed, you are to be congratulated for this "brilliant shard"!

i've always thought you were a fabulous writer, dear Mom-101 (if that's who you really are...) and i never cease to be amazed by your incredible level of "cleverousness"! : D

5/28/06, 11:33 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

This has to be the most creative meme I've ever seen. Plus, I love me some Bush jokes.

Mrs. Condoleeza R Bush? It DOES have a ring to it, huh? Too funny!

5/28/06, 12:30 PM  
Blogger soleclaw said...

one word:

BRILLIANT!

5/28/06, 1:00 PM  
Anonymous Asha said...

Christina/Kitty: a meme (pronounced "meem") is like a blogging chain letter that gets passed along from friend to friend to be filled out in one's own inimitable style and then posted to one's blog (or sent along via email).

Mom 101: what a hilarious way to commemorate this patriotic holiday!

5/28/06, 2:33 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Holy shit girl, you kill me. I am cracking up. I am so freaking glad I tagged you. Now I can't wait to see what Kristen does.

This is why you have a kagillion viewers, you think outside the box. Here's me being all normal and sentemental. You are my hero. Someday will you teach me to be as cool as you?

5/28/06, 3:09 PM  
Blogger Undercover Angel said...

LOL! That's so funny! That is so creative!

5/28/06, 3:54 PM  
Blogger J said...

VERY FUNNY!

5/28/06, 5:03 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

That. was. awesome.

5/28/06, 9:27 PM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

This is total bullshit. I happen to know for a fact that he is wondering about toast, not bacon. How can you be trusted with the facts when you can't even get that straight?

5/28/06, 10:19 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Suebob - hilarious! You almost had me for a second (what with a name like Suebob and all).

5/28/06, 10:28 PM  
Anonymous Chase said...

LOL!!

I've never seen Jesus do a meme on his blog (www.emailsfromjesus.com). I'm sure he'll be excited to finally be tagged! :)

5/28/06, 10:55 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

That is some good creativousness there! Axis of Evil or Axe Effect? HA!

5/28/06, 11:59 PM  
Blogger EvaRob said...

Love the Chai Tea, Tai Chi....

5/29/06, 12:09 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

I LOVE this post. Every word is genius. Suebob and Mom 101...you're both right. Sort of. He's thinking about Egg McMuffin.

I have to say it wasn't all that slow over at Half of the Sky. I upset more than a few people. Unintentionally.

5/29/06, 8:34 AM  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

This is the best version of this meme I've seen yet. Hilarious! :)

5/29/06, 9:06 AM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Damn! I didn't know you were buddies with the prez.

How'd you convince him to take time off his busy schedule to do a guest post?

5/29/06, 2:27 PM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

Brilliant. Hysterical. effing brilliant. One of my favourite posts you have written!

5/29/06, 3:23 PM  
Blogger Wendy Boucher said...

George, could we have a little off blog discussion? I have a few suggestions along the lines of where to stick it and perhaps, where you should go after you stick it.

Mom-101, you are definitely going to be on the NSA's watch list. Irreverance is not to be tolerated.

5/29/06, 3:25 PM  
Blogger Andie D. said...

Beautiful!

You have him down PAT.

5/29/06, 3:46 PM  
Blogger something blue said...

How lovely that you could climb right inside his head. I always thought it would be roomy. While you're in there, maybe take the chance to do a little redecorating. I think a tranquil shade of blue would be a good color to start with.

5/29/06, 4:01 PM  
Anonymous Feral Mom said...

Hee hee. This is awesome! Thanks for the laugh and the sudden flush of identification-- I, too, find myself wondering why bacon is so damn tasty. A lot.

5/29/06, 4:48 PM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

Jesus has a blog? Fuck yeah!

5/29/06, 5:03 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

This? Was SO FREAKING AWESOME! I've got to show it to my hubby!

5/29/06, 7:03 PM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

You are my hero. Garfield and Jesus were just genius.

5/29/06, 7:23 PM  
Blogger macboudica said...

Hilarious!

5/30/06, 9:32 AM  
Blogger Jezer said...

Oh, holy hell, that was funny.

5/30/06, 7:12 PM  
Anonymous Jai Zeus said...

How many times must I tell you? The Son of God does not do memes!

5/31/06, 2:08 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

thank you for the most inspired post I have read in a LONG time!

made my night!

5/31/06, 9:05 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

hot damn. my favorite? The Helen Thomas reference, natch.

you rule.

6/1/06, 7:32 PM  
Blogger MommyWithAttitude said...

Bwa ha ha ha ha! Perfect!

6/1/06, 8:05 PM  
Anonymous krista said...

Ha, I laughed at "i write good."

You know though, it's true! I haven't been to your site in awhile and I just caught up- and damn- you do write "good"
Haha.

6/3/06, 8:22 AM  
Blogger Pushpendra said...

NAUGHTY BLOGGER TAKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOME.......

11/15/06, 2:47 PM  
Anonymous Mary said...

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!
I am so sick of him by the way...this president. How in the heck did he get elected anyway?

He makes people become democrats. Yeah, I used to be republican.

11/20/06, 1:00 PM  

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