Because It's a Sloooooow Weekend in Blogsville, USA
I AM George W Bush, Pres'dent of the You-nited States. (I know! Can you believe it?)
I WANT to rid the word of evil-doers. Actually I don't want to do that. I just want the credit for doing it. I'd rather be playing Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06 on PS2.
I WISH good people didn't have to die. Like Ronald Reagan. And Jim Varney.
I MISS the annual Spring Fling at the Skull 'n Bones--rum punch, togas, and snorting blow off a sorority pledge's B-cups. Good times.
I HEAR that Condi scribbles, Mrs. Condoleeza R Bush in the margins of her notes during meetings. Heh.
I WONDER why bacon is just so tasty. Sometimes, during security briefings I just can't stop thinking about bacon. I wonder if other presidents had the same problem.
I REGRET that Jefferson had to go and write that constitution thing and ruin it for the rest of us.
I AM NOT a fan of the French. Them speakin' all French and everything, like they're hot stuff. What's wrong? English not good enough for 'em? F*cking French.
I DANCE around Helen Thomas' questions pretty well, don't I?
I AM NOT ALWAYS as stupid as I sound. Sometimes I just don't feel like putting the words together in the usual ways. I call it creativousness.
I WRITE good.
I CONFUSE the Axis of Evil for the Axe Effect. Which one is the deodorant again?
I NEED a beer.
I SHOULD probably help Laura with the TV Guide crossword. Movie Star Brad P---? Darn it, I'm never good at the football questions.
I START my days with fifteen minutes of tai chi and a chai latte. Ha! Fooled ya. Bet I coulda convinced you I drive a hybrid too.
I TAG Jesus. We just talked last week and he told me he's been itchin' to do a meme.