5.19.2006

Sex! Innuendo! Product Placement!

Last week I received a sample of KY Sensual Mist Personal Lubricant--yeahhh, baby--that was sent to me by a fancy fancy PR firm so that I might write about it and help create some buzz. Because, you know, I'm just that influential. One word from Mom-101 and women everywhere drop what they're doing, leave their cookies to burn, abandon their children, and flock to their local drugstores. In other words, KY couldn't afford Susan Sarandon, and Christine Lahti had a prior committment.

Here's a quick analysis:

The name: I could not for the life of me remember it. I kept saying to Nate, "Hey baby, we have to have KY sex for my blog. Go get that Happy Rainbow stuff."

"Happy rainbow?"

"Vanilla mist. Raindrop surprise. Summer Fog. Something that sounds like a douche. Go get it?"

The product descriptor: "Personal lubricant." I question this. I mean, is there any lubricant that is impersonal? Like a lubricant you apply through a glory hole in the bathroom wall of a Christopher Street bar or something? Ew, I just went a little too far there, didn't I.

The functionality: Okay noooooow I understand why it's called Sensual Mist. You spray it. Like you would a sticky lock, or a germy bathroom. And that makes a mist. The whole process is a little mechanical, if I may say so. Or as Nate put it, "I get it. When you lube up, your hand gets all goopy. So they're just trying to take the goopy hand out of the equation." In other words, it's for couples who don't want to actually touch each other.

I can just imagine who they recruited for their focus groups. What I would have paid to be behind that 2-way mirror, and not just for the free MnMs.

The verdict: I'm so so so sorry fancy PR agency, but I have to give the product a 6. We like our, er, relations...just a little more slippy slidey than the water-based KY Sensual Mist allows. And Nate gave me permission to mention that it works better for two than it does for one, if you catch my drift. So you lose that dual-use that's so integral to our purchase decision in this category.

But on the upside, the packaging is convenient for travel, and sometimes it is nice to have a goopy-less hand option in the personal lubrication department. Besides, it was worth it just to have Nate put the baby in the playpen and hear him say, "sorry sweetie, this will just be a few minutes. It's mommy's research for work."

Heh.


45 Comments:

Blogger Andrea said...

What list did you get on and can I join? I want free samples like that.

Thanks for the honesty. I'll know better than to trust that dual-purpose mumbo-jumbo now.

5/19/06, 11:04 AM  
Blogger bunmaster said...

I thought the glory hole bit was funny. Does that make me a pervert?

I don't know, I think the whole spray mist thing would make me feel like the hubby was about to start pan frying up something on my privates. (Man I am weird.)

5/19/06, 11:22 AM  
Blogger Lindsay said...

Great research!!!
you got an awesome Hubby, mine would be blushing for the rest of his life if I wrote about our.. "relations"
LOL..

5/19/06, 11:29 AM  
Anonymous MetroDad said...

I'm with bunmaster. KY Mist sounds like cooking with PAM.

5/19/06, 11:33 AM  
Blogger something blue said...

Some people get to have all the fun!

Be sure not to get it mixed up with your Evian Mineral Water Spray, which by the way works great for rehydrating your skin on airplanes. I don't think the KY stuff would be as refreshing.

5/19/06, 11:37 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Grrrrr...I got a free sample of thigh shaping panty things.


Grrrrr. And please, no more talk of pan-frying privates.

5/19/06, 11:59 AM  
Anonymous krista said...

First Izzy, now you. Is there some secret club I need to know about? I want someone to send me free stuff too damnit. (Must work on that influential thing)

Especially Lub. I especially want free lub.

5/19/06, 12:03 PM  
Anonymous Chase said...

I feel dirty.

But, at least it's in a rainbow-flowery-springtime-waterfall-misty kind of way.

5/19/06, 12:03 PM  
Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

*puts down handbag and keys*

Whew! Crisis averted!

I'd also like to know how one gets to shag ones hubs and call it research. I want that job!

-Blue

5/19/06, 12:12 PM  
Anonymous Imperfect Mommy said...

So, I get an offer to review some new Clorox spray and you get KY?? Hmmm... so I'm the pregnant mother (read: no sex) whose family has been afflicted with every illness from pinworms to pink eye this year... And you? The left coast jet-setting NYC mom gets KY. Now I get it.

5/19/06, 12:48 PM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

So this is what happens when you are famous. ... I'm with chase. ... a rainbow-flowery-springtime-waterfall-misty dirty feeling here ... but still laughing out loud.

5/19/06, 1:01 PM  
Anonymous Motherhood Uncensored said...

"just a little more slippy slidey than the water-based KY Sensual Mist allows"

Hilarious. And don't worry Imperfect Mommy - I was thinking about testing how anywhere the Clorox really is...

ahem.

5/19/06, 1:24 PM  
Anonymous Kristina said...

Um, I find most of the KY products to be ineffective.

5/19/06, 1:55 PM  
Blogger Pattie said...

How come you and Izzy get all the fun stuff to try out?

5/19/06, 1:59 PM  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

Using that for solo sex seems like making sure you don't get any raw egg on your hands while you make the cookie dough, but then eating the uncooked batter out of the bowl.

I mean, I'm not a man, but my sense is that a common way men masturbate involves hands. So I'm thinking the whole "eww, a gloopy hand" concern is maybe not such an issue.

Oh, and now I am definitely going to be mentally replaying the words "glory hole" all day. Thanks.

5/19/06, 2:08 PM  
Blogger movin'mom said...

I feel like we're dating and have taken that next step...
I didn't know when I woke up this morning that we were going to go there!

Remember what a great writer you are and you always seem to provide the visuals for me.

Is it wrong that i can see you and Nate in my head or even Nate all by himself? ;0

too funny-
It would have been funny to ask everyone to go out and try it and return their opinions via Blog- that oughta get some good hits!
Thanks for your response on my post I think the REAL job is that they do not stay adolescents forever.

5/19/06, 2:12 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

HAHAHAHAHA, to freaking funny. I want to know, how are you so cool that you get free stuff? Not that I want that spray KY shit, but...oh well.

5/19/06, 2:32 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Melissa: I'm SO not cool. When I start getting Convertible Audis and Jimmy Choos to sample, then I'll be cool. But don't hold your breath...

5/19/06, 2:39 PM  
Blogger Undercover Angel said...

Nobody asks me to sample anything :( I personally can't say I would want to try lub that you spray on though...

5/19/06, 2:45 PM  
Blogger DaniGirl said...

Hey, I want free stuff too! Damn, I knew about the bloggers who got the free trip to Amsterdam, and I was uberjealous of the ones who got the free Electric Company DVD sets, and I've had two not-very-good books to review - but free sex toys? Sign me up!

(Although, I have to admit, if I got an e-mail offering me free sex toys in exchange for blog PR, I'm thinking they'd go straight into the spam file... Maybe I've been a little too quick with the old 'delete' key?)

5/19/06, 2:50 PM  
Blogger J's Mommy said...

Hmmm interesting. I get what Nate said though, it does get goopy on your hands.

5/19/06, 3:31 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

LOL. Does this count as getting paid for having sex? Hmmm. :)

5/19/06, 3:34 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

I have no words for this because I'm snickering too much.
Happy Rainbow. Raindrop Surprise. Ha!

5/19/06, 3:40 PM  
Blogger Binky said...

You know what I take from this? That there are actually people out there having sex. I got an inkling of that fact last night watching HBO's Sex Inspectors when they stated the average person has sex 2 1/2 times per week. Of course, the show takes place in England, so maybe that's a their statistic. Which makes me even more depressed.

5/19/06, 3:49 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

LOL Too Funny.......for couples who don't want to touch each other. Geeez not only is it remove the need for forplay, but you can't even get the forplay enough to put it on.

5/19/06, 3:53 PM  
Blogger tracey said...

Well, we recently tried the KY "warming" variety and um, not so much. I guess I'd give it a 6. (although I may have given it a 7 if it was FREE!)

I dunno, call me old school.

5/19/06, 4:02 PM  
Blogger macboudica said...

Some fun research project!

5/19/06, 4:19 PM  
Blogger Wendy Boucher said...

SOooooo funny. I'll probably get asked someday to review a product and it will be something toilet related. That's my luck. I'll use the darn toilet wand and have an allergic reaction to the cleanser. That's also my luck.

5/19/06, 5:06 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

That is a fabulous review.

And I'm also in the jealous crowd. How are they picking bloggers to test this stuff? Do I not talk about sex enough on my blog.

Hey KY folks - I have sex too! And maybe if I had a good lube, I might have more sex!

5/19/06, 5:54 PM  
Blogger lynsalyns said...

I think I just peed. Seriously, that was TOO funny. Your Nate-Mate is a sport, that's for sure.

5/19/06, 6:20 PM  
Blogger Mega Mom said...

I'm with Movin' Mom. I can picture Nate too. Combination Greatest American Hero (don't know the actor's name, but I'll bet you do) and the smart guy from numbers. It may be time for his reveal...

5/19/06, 8:02 PM  
Anonymous chelle said...

HAHAHAHAH! Good to know!! Not buying Rainbow Mist! hehehe

5/19/06, 8:16 PM  
Blogger Mama Kelly said...

ROFL ... it's for couples who don't want to actually touch each other ....

maybe if they touched each other they wouldn;t need the lubricant????

ROFL

5/19/06, 8:51 PM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

High fives to Nate for supporting your market research endeavors and little fives to Thalia for her role in this fine review.

Did they send you the warming kind? I didn't like it. It scared me.

5/19/06, 9:11 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Well, having had the cold lube hand hit my ass was terribly shocking, so I'm all FOR lubeless hands.

Why do I sense that Nate will now be recruiting the sex toy shops for your "exclusives"?

5/19/06, 10:24 PM  
Blogger Lauri said...

KY has been bombing I guess. The warming 'massage' gel smells like a mechanical room..blech..

I was hoping this was a good review so I could move on from that!

5/20/06, 12:22 AM  
Blogger It's okay, Sweetie said...

I've seen you on various blogrolls. So today I decide to check ya out and up comes the pic: hand with the condom in it. My hubby is all, "Uh...just what KIND of blogs ARE you reading..."

What a refreshing change of pace. ...not as refreshing as sensual mist personal lubricant mind you. Everyone should get a packet right along with their mortgage statement every month. I'll be back!

5/20/06, 12:26 AM  
Blogger Morris said...

Your husband is very lucky to have you!

Mr. Morris
Ask Morris

5/20/06, 9:46 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

YOU TOO?!?!?

Where can I exhange the control-top reinforced crotch pantyhose OF THE MONTH CLUB voucher for sex aids?

Still, spray lubricant. Right up there with spray-on cheese as an example of product development genius, I'd say. And the cheese is probably a better sex aid.

5/20/06, 9:49 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Thanks for the handy research and review. Or not-handy as the case may be. Maybe randy?

I would guess it is really marketed to couples as opposed to just guys with that douche-like name, so no wonder it didn't work as well for... er... Nate's one-person personal relations. If it really were intended for just guys they might have called it something like "Wet Stuff for Your Dick."

5/20/06, 10:26 AM  
Blogger Queen Haline said...

I just love that this followed the blog about our friendship! What a perfect dessert!

5/20/06, 1:01 PM  
Blogger novembernightstar said...

I agree with Mama Kelly. I just don't "get" lubricants. If you need one, your husband could use some instructions on how to heat up a woman naturally!

7/31/06, 2:35 AM  
Blogger Bobita~ said...

Now, this is funny stuff!

I have always been mystified by the concept of "personal lubricant" in some ways. Certainly, I believe that there are some people who need it, like it and will always use it. But, I can't help thinking that KY is just another way that we let men off the hook when it comes to romance.

A woman's body, for instance, has a natural lubricant that is released during times of pleasure to make the hoochy all wet and slippery. (I understand that there are some women for whom this mechanism does not work...so don't send me hate mail!)

So, my point is this...if we have a natural system in place (assuming the KY is used for heterosexual sex...which is not always the case...again, don't send hate mail!) why do need KY in the first place?

Maybe:
1) so that Mr. Man won't have to actually take the time to turn on his lovely Mrs. Woman?

2) speed up the process?

Either way, what is the motivation for KY wanting to market this product to the masses? Those who don't really have a medical reason for using it?

I, for one, am not letting my irreverent lover off the hook that easy! I might even go so far as to say something like, "I will NOT get the lube. If you want to have sex with me you will TURN OFF the TV, CONVINCE me that I will enjoy it, and then WORK ME INTO A TIZZIE SO THAT I WON'T REFUSE YOU!"

Call me the Nazi-sex dictator...but I'm not budging on this one!

1/30/07, 4:34 PM  
Anonymous Beth B. SVmom said...

All We get to review are books. I feel left out.... Are we not hot enought to get sexy swag?

2/1/07, 12:11 AM  
Blogger this week for dinner - jane maynard said...

liz, you crack me up.

10/5/10, 5:44 PM  

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