5.14.2006

Hi, I'm Thalia's Mom.

The pressure on a momblogger (mommyblogger? female parental unit blogger?) to compose a post suitably eloquent for mother's day must be something akin to what a Cardinal feels when he sits down to write Christmas Day mass. This is our Superbowl, our walk down the red carpet, our hour-long season finale brought to you uncut and uninterrupted, thanks to a generous grant from the Ford Foundation.

The pressure is tenfold, this being my first mother's day and all. And I kind of keep forgetting it's mine. For the past 37 years, Mother's Day was a day to celebrate all the mothers in my life. It's tough to suddenly see it as a day to celebrate me.

Me.

Because I'm a mother.

Oh my God, I'm a mother.

Whoever's in charge of this kind of thing--Mother Nature or the stork or the sperm gods or whoever--is surely thinking, whoops, I must have been on coffee break when this one slipped through the system. Damn those mochaccinos, they're such a distraction and yet--so tasty.

So now here I am, Thalia's mom.

It does have a ring to it, I gotta say.

While each of our experiences as mothers are unique, I believe that most of what we all feel the first year is the same - amazement, exhaustion, anxiety, joy. To elaborate on this would be to tell you what you already know, which is that, like you, I'm amazed, exhausted, anxious, joyous and more. Pass me a thesaurus and the list will go on until you have no choice but say, "yeah yeah we GOT IT already. Motherhood is crazy and you've never been this happy, and who knew, blah blah blah. Join the club."

And I would have to respond, "well thank you so much! I think I will join the club!"

To me The Club is the bonus feature that no one told me about, the free gift with purchase. Gestate a human being for 41.5 weeks, bring her home, raise her up, and you too get a free membership into Club Motherhood. Offer expires never.

The best part about The Club is that I already know the members--they're all the mothers I've ever loved and who have ever loved me. It's amazing how the simple (or not simple; common, maybe) act of having a child has connected me so profoundly to the other mothers in my life. I always knew that my mother loved me. I never knew exactly how she loved me. Until now. And now that I understand this, I am acutely aware of it in every mother I know--my friends, my relatives, the Korean lady behind the register of the corner deli.

It's like I have been granted a pair of those x-ray glasses from the backs of comic books, a pair of plastic specs that enables me to see inside the heart of every woman pushing a stroller down the street, every woman frantically shushing a crying baby on the airplane, every woman staring cluelessly at the rows of formula in the drugstore for the first time. I am connected to them all in a way that I wasn't one year ago. It's sometimes hard to resist the urge to run up to random women in the street pushing strollers, grab them, swing them around, and squeal, "me tooooooo!"

So MommyWars? Bah. Whether we stay at home with our kids or head to work every day, whether we feed 'em from the boob or the bottle, whether we put our babies in their cribs every night or allow ourselves (myself) to be kicked in the head by them all night long--we're all still Mommies, just trying to do the best we can with what we've got. In the end, we have more in common than not. Because even if it's just one thing that binds us, that one thing is the biggest thing in any of our lives.

One year ago today, I dragged my Jabba the Hut-esque pregnant self across the bridge into Manhattan for a very swelegant brunch with the rents. Watching a trendy couple maneuver the Bugaboo between the white linen-clad tables, I thought, that will be me next year. Minus the trendiness.

But today, I wouldn't even see the trendiness. At least not right off. First, I see the motherhood.

And that's pretty cool.

Happy day to all you mamas out there. Thanks for all your beautiful words, and to you HBM, for the inspiration for many of them. Thank you all for being the best of what mothers can be. It's comforting to know that even when we've got a whole lot of stuff going on in our lives, we still make time for each other.

Hi, I'm Thalia's Mom. I'm happy to be part of your club.


62 Comments:

Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

I'm the first to comment? Cool, that never happens.

Yes, the Sisterhood of the Mommies is the best club I've ever been in and there's no secret handshake to learn. There's a little more pain involved than in your typical hazing ritual but its all worth it in the end... or beginning, as I like to look at it.

Happy First Mom's Day. I love that picture of you two.

5/14/06, 11:18 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

This is beautiful, and so spot on. Such a club - and, as Mrs. Chicky said, such a hazing ritual. But well worth it for the welcome, and the perks, and the love.

And ever there was a greater photographic testament to the sweetness of maternal love, I have not seen it.

5/14/06, 11:28 AM  
Blogger Refinnej said...

Well said!

Happy Mother's Day!

5/14/06, 11:48 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

That was such a sweet post! You really put all MY thoughts so much better than I ever could. :) I so agree with you. Great post.

5/14/06, 11:53 AM  
Anonymous Kvetch said...

Wonderful thoughts, so well put. Sweet photo that truly, says it all.

5/14/06, 11:59 AM  
Blogger BohemeMama said...

Hi, I'm Dominic and Dylan's Mama, and your blog rocks!! And on the shoe lust, yes.....make it stop(not really, give me more!!!) Ha..

5/14/06, 11:59 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Spot on. It's amazing to have this connection with so many women all over the world.

Happy Mother's Day to Thalia's Mom.

5/14/06, 12:09 PM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

Happy Mother's Day.

5/14/06, 12:38 PM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

I know what you mean by suddenly getting it, and that kinship that you feel with other women. It's a cool thing.

That was a lovely post. Happy Mother's Day to a great writer and mom, whose beautiful baby girl almost makes me consider procreating again.

5/14/06, 12:41 PM  
Anonymous motherhooduncensored said...

I'm coming out of hiding to say that was beautiful.

I didn't think much about the mom's club when I was preggo - but now that I've found this community of mothers, I feel like it's the best club I could ever be a member.

Thanks for a fitting tribute - to yourself and all mothers, everywhere.

Now back to the beach.

5/14/06, 12:56 PM  
Blogger Piece of Work said...

Aw, Happy Mother's Day!!

5/14/06, 1:02 PM  
Anonymous AuntieFred said...

Next year, I am going to use today's blog as my Mother's Day greeting to my Momsie. You really nailed it. Happy Mother's Day to you, your first!

5/14/06, 1:05 PM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

That my friend, was a beautiful post. Happy Mothers Day.

5/14/06, 1:36 PM  
Blogger Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

We're happy to have you!

This is my second Mother's Day. It's still strange that it applies to me.

5/14/06, 1:36 PM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

That was so beautiful. And it is such a great club.

Happy first Mother's Day Thalia's mom!!

5/14/06, 1:51 PM  
Blogger J said...

Happy Mother's Day, and welcome to the club. ;)

5/14/06, 1:58 PM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

I know exactly how you feel. This is my first mother's day too. One year or so into motherhood and I feel that I appreciate and understand other mothers in a whole new way. And my life is certainly richer for it. Happy mother's day to you and Thalia.

5/14/06, 2:59 PM  
Blogger something blue said...

*Offer expires never.*

Every word is so true. It's one of those things that they say changes the moment you become a mother and before then you think you understand. Then when it happens the words make so much more sense. The picture of you and Thalia really captures the love.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day!

5/14/06, 3:08 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

So true. We're all Mommies and we're all doing a damn good job. Happy Mother's Day to you -- the picture you posted is awesome. I love the way you're looking at each other.

5/14/06, 3:33 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

And we thought falling for our partners was intense . . . little did we know what was in store! Sounds like you got a case of baby love reeeal bad. Me Too. Happy Mother's Day!

5/14/06, 3:56 PM  
Anonymous chelle said...

I am loving the club too~Happy First Mother's Day!

5/14/06, 4:16 PM  
Blogger kidslovecandy said...

right back at you Mom 101-
I love the photo. I can see your little muffin is giving you props for a job well done.

5/14/06, 4:28 PM  
Blogger Mega Mom said...

Enjoy a wonderful first Mother's Day of your own with your beautiful daughter.

This is a really cool club. It is so many cliches all rolled into one, but I'm pretty sure none of us would trade it for the world.

5/14/06, 5:28 PM  
Anonymous Lia said...

Great post thank you.

5/14/06, 5:51 PM  
Blogger PeetsMom said...

Beautifully said!

5/14/06, 6:34 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Yeah, I remember the first time we took Emily out ( after coming home from hospital) and I gave her to Terrance to place in the carseat.

About 15 minutes later, we stopped to get gas and I wriggled back to look at how she was doing.

He had literally PLACED her in the car seat. No strapping in - nothing. Just her, in seat.

The unholy rage that swept over me as I flung myself out of the car to verbally beat him for endangering his newborn daughters life.....

That's how I knew I'd joined the club.

And I L-U-V that photo!

5/14/06, 6:41 PM  
Anonymous Tess's Mom said...

I love this post! That photo is pretty cute too. Happy mother's day!

5/14/06, 8:38 PM  
Blogger Rock the Cradle said...

Welcome to the club!

This from a mom celebrating her 2nd Mother's Day. Seasoned veteran I am NOT. But part of a wonderful new community? Absolutely!

Happy 1rst Mother's Day!

5/14/06, 9:20 PM  
Blogger Kari said...

Thank you for finding a way to express exactly how I feel! I still can't believe I'm a mom but I can't remember it any other way. I see a pregnant woman walking down the street and I want to bake her a cake, lend her books, hug her and tell her the nipple pain doesn't last forever.

I love this club!

5/14/06, 10:53 PM  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Happy Mother's Day, Liz! Next term, I'm going to nominate you for secretary/treasurer!

5/14/06, 10:57 PM  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

I thought a lot about the club when I (desperately) wanted to be a member but could not be. Now I think less about it, because it is just so natural. It is an amazing bonus to life as a mom. (I totally accosted a couple with a new new baby at the drug store the other day. I did hold back from hugging them, thankfully.)

Happy mother's day!

5/14/06, 10:58 PM  
Blogger Jess Riley said...

Oh, what a wonderful post, Liz!!! I can't wait to join the club. The clock is ticking louder and louder. :)

(I love that picture. You both look so happy!)

5/15/06, 12:00 AM  
Anonymous reluctant housewife said...

Me TOOO!

:)

5/15/06, 12:12 AM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

I can't possibly post anything for Mother's Day that would be as good as this.

Which is great, because I only just got home a little while ago from an out-of-control Mother's Day get-together where something like 100 members of my husband's family were trying to squeeze into a little two bedroom city house, and since my son's birthday party was yesterday, and my son got sick after his birthday party because he hadn't eaten anything all day, and then he refused to go to sleep, I haven't slept more than a few hours all weekend, and I am utterly exhausted.

So, you've totally let me off the hook for saying anything good about Mother's Day by writing an awesome post I couldn't possibly match. Thanks! :)

5/15/06, 12:22 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

I've always wanted a public forum to gripe about Mother's Day...in general. The lameness of the celebration as it unfolds in the hands of those who aren't used to cleaning a toilet. However, the club itself is way too wonderful. And I'm glad we're in it together.

5/15/06, 12:37 AM  
Blogger Jozet said...

Lovely, my dear!

And that photo? You made me have a Braxton-Hicks just looking at it. ;-)

Happy Mother's Day!

5/15/06, 1:49 AM  
Anonymous dorf said...

You can't possilbly describe to anyone who isn't in The Club the joys and heartbreaks of being a mother. And when you're in it? You don't have to.

Thanks again for giving voice to all of us whose tear ducts are constantly at the ready when we think of our children.

5/15/06, 5:02 AM  
Blogger Pattie said...

I'm proud to be a member of the club.
Gorgeous picture of you and Thalia!
Hope you enjoyed your first Mother's Day...here's to many more :)

5/15/06, 8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen! Wonderfully stated, fellow club-member. :)

~Jenny
http://blogs.chron.com/mamadrama/

5/15/06, 8:33 AM  
Blogger J's Mommy said...

Yay! I'm in The Club too. Great post and the picture is adorable. You are an amazing woman!

5/15/06, 8:47 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I know exactly what you mean. All of a sudden it's all just differnt. Amazing that only 7 months of being a mom can make such a drastic change! Happy Mother's Day, and what a cute picture!

5/15/06, 9:47 AM  
Blogger zeldafitz said...

OK thanks for making me verklempt and all! You are SO RIGHT and it's great how you always acknowledge the great connetivity of the Internet and us mommies that inhabit it.

That is THE cutest picture too. I love it. Such matching wonder and happiness.

5/15/06, 10:43 AM  
Anonymous Chantal said...

I've been wondering if I should post about Mother's Day, but honestly, it all still feels kind of weird. Even after almost 10 years. I often forget it's about me too!

Great pic of you and Thalia.

5/15/06, 10:52 AM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

It's a club? Damn...I thought it was a gang.

Great post :)

5/15/06, 11:14 AM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

Aw!!!! Wonderful post from a wonderful mamacita. Hope you had a fantastic Mother's Day. Love to your fam.

And I'm right there with the first-mothers day-i'm-a-mother? feeling. Yesterday a neighbor saw me walking by with a stroller and said "Happy Mothers Day" and I froze. Oh yeah! He's talking to me.

xx

5/15/06, 12:37 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

Well said...

Happy(late) Mother's Day, girl...welcome to the club...

;)

5/15/06, 12:43 PM  
Blogger jennster said...

awwww- that was really sweet and cute and dammit, i just wanna hug you. and maybe sleep in your bed and kick your head. lol

5/15/06, 12:54 PM  
Blogger Carrcakes said...

What a beautiful mother's day post. Minimal hazing, a network of millions — Motherhood is the best sorority ever. That picture is perfect.

5/15/06, 1:12 PM  
Blogger Marie said...

The Club rocks! Happy 1st Mom's Day!

5/15/06, 1:48 PM  
Anonymous Kristin said...

That was gorgeous. So is that picture, the love is palpable.

I didn't write a mother's day post because I was scared it would sound syrupy and imbecilic. I'm glad I didn't, yours was better.

5/15/06, 2:26 PM  
Anonymous MetroDad said...

Happy mother's day, 101! Hope you had a great one.

5/15/06, 3:31 PM  
Blogger momsgoneloony said...

Happy 1st Mother's Day Thalia's Mom!! From Nicklaus,Noni, and Nathan's Mom. (And no, I never intended to be sooo damn cheesy, but what could I name Nathan the unexpected? Fred?)

5/15/06, 3:54 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

Happy Mother's Day! I had a similar thought yesterday - that now this day is for ME too. I'm still getting used to that fact, and this is my FIFTH Mother's Day (gulp).

5/15/06, 5:42 PM  
Blogger gingajoy said...

same to you lady. same to you:)

5/15/06, 8:59 PM  
Blogger Stephanie A. said...

OK, that picture is just too, too much. It's easy to see that you both treasure each other!

5/15/06, 9:01 PM  
Blogger Undercover Angel said...

Club Motherhood is great, isn't it! I hope you had a wonderful mother's day.

5/15/06, 9:03 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

It is an awesome club, isn't it? I loved your description of wanting to swing around moms pushing a stroller and yell "Me tooooo!" I feel that same way sometimes. :)

5/15/06, 9:18 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Yep, it's a not-so-secret sisterhood, all right. And even the people that try to use mommybloggers for target practice can't really tarnish that merit badge.
At any rate, I guess I'll drink some Koolaid. It's a hell of a lot better than the alternative.... drinking sour grapes. ;)

5/15/06, 10:56 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

Here's to all of the years ahead of feeling like part of the "Mommy Club"!! Even after I am old and gray and wrinkled I hope to be grateful for the gifts my children have given me.

Beautiful picture . . . almost an Eskimo Kiss!

5/16/06, 2:38 AM  
Blogger Lindsay said...

Happy First MOMs day, it is mine too!!! Isnt it the most wonderful feeling??!! I felt like I was on top of the world all day.. MOM what a great title to have :)

5/16/06, 4:56 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Happy belated Mom's day Thalia's mom!

Great post!

And you are right about the club. I've found I'm not as shy as I used to be. I can be in a room full of strangers from all ages and walks of life and KNOW I have something HUGE in common with most of the women there -- Being a mom! That's hours of conversation just right there. heehee

5/16/06, 12:03 PM  
Anonymous sweatpantsmom said...

this is such a beautiful post. Leave it to you to give the traditional Mother's Day essay a unique twist.

Happy First Mother's day!

(I was waiting to comment on your 'Pink' post until I had time to sit down and watch the video. It made me cry, too.)

5/16/06, 3:14 PM  

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