6.29.2006

...I'm Gonna Eat Some Worms

Ever have one of those days where you realize you suck?

Like for example: You spot a woman in the local Starbucks with a kid about the same age as yours and you're thinking how great it would be for your daughter to actually have one friend. So you start chatting up this woman, only to realize that you had met a year ago when your girls were newborns, and you exchanged numbers then. She called the next week, you said you'd call her when you got back in town, and that call took place.....never.

You stutter a vague apology and say something completely retarded about being really busy, um, for a whole year; at which point you're faced with a polite, closed-mouth grin and a terse, "well, see you around." Which, as you know, is really code for, "too late, beyatch. And don't think of trying to make any other mommy friends around here either. I've added your name to the blacklist."

Oh my God, I'm like one of Those Guys, aren't I. The I'll call you guys that we spent our entire single years complaining about.

Am I the only one with the best of intentions decimated by terrible follow-through?


49 Comments:

Blogger Karen Rani said...

Guilty. At LEAST 213 times. Easily.

6/28/06, 10:36 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Hey, I've been on the receiving end of the "I'll call you" mommy date. I recently wrote about it. Maybe she's just busy, too. I'll have to give her the benefit of the doubt after reading your note. Don't worry, NYC is big, she could have reached every mommy.

6/28/06, 10:41 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Nah, you're not alone. Bet if she took the time, she'd be able to come up with a time or two when she dropped the ball. Okay, make that if I took the time, I can come up with a time or two (or three or four...) when I dropped the ball. Shit happens, (can't decide whether that pun is intended or not...)especially to new moms. If she can't laugh it off, she's probably in that high maintenance catergory, anyways. Or worse yet, the competi-mommy group. Ick!

6/28/06, 10:48 PM  
Blogger jennster said...

LMFAO- but listen.. people have lives. especially you. tell her to read your blog and then she'll understand... REALLY.

6/28/06, 11:15 PM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

Oh, I hear ya, babe. My excuse is always, "Oh my gosh-- I've been hoping I'd hear from you! I lost my address book."

;)

6/28/06, 11:22 PM  
Blogger Castle Offroad Club said...

I'm so bad about calling people that I've even been giving the shaft to friends of the best-buds-since-we-hung-out-in-the-same-playpen persuasion. I don't know how I even have a friend left. And I have no excuses that are nearly as good as yours. Maybe you should try a different Starbucks next time ;)

6/28/06, 11:42 PM  
Blogger Binky said...

Oh, crap. I just posted the previous comment from my husband's account without realizing it (castle offroad club). Sorry for the confusion!

6/28/06, 11:45 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I did this too. I met a mom on a playground - we found out our boys are the same age and we live a quarter mile from each other. She works and told me to call her. I never knew what time was a good time because she works -- I don't. So I didn't call. Then I saw her again. I told her I'd call. I didn't. Then I met her one day while walking the dog. I felt like such a dumbass. So yeah. I don't even travel or have any excuse like you do!

6/28/06, 11:59 PM  
Anonymous Nila said...

"the best of intentions decimated by terrible follow-through" That is the story of my life. I'm the worst at returning calls. And I wonder why I have no friends. Then again, I also know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of such neglect and the insecurities abound, no matter how old you are.

6/29/06, 12:58 AM  
Anonymous chelle said...

I suck at calling, cripes I cannot even email back sometimes!!!!

6/29/06, 1:00 AM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

i did the same thing. i ran into my first mommy friend while on a "first date" with another. i never called her back because i got busy and then felt bad about never calling so I never called. i felt like such a mommy-playa with a new bitch on my arm. Sigh.

6/29/06, 1:05 AM  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Yep. This happens to the best of us. I've been guilty of this many a time.

And truly, does she know that she is passing up Mom-101? Her loss!

6/29/06, 1:16 AM  
Blogger mrsmogul said...

yes this happened to me this week! I met a mom eons ago abd bumped into her in the street. I totally never called her to get together with her kid and probably she has made me on the blacklist. OH WELL..If I was in NYC, we could meet for coffee..I won't blacklist you:)

6/29/06, 4:40 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don't return my calls! (Probably because that happens to me more than I care to admit - I'm beginning to think maybe there's something wrong with me...)

6/29/06, 7:12 AM  
Anonymous motherhooduncensored said...

I'm the worst at that shit. However, I just use broken bones as an excuse and it seems to work well for me.

6/29/06, 8:21 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Absolutely NOT! I'm horrible horrible horrible at all follow through. And especially calling people! I'm not sure why. I'm always like.....I'll do it tomorrow. And I could do that for like 2 years in my head. LOL

6/29/06, 8:45 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

meh, she doesn't sound too fun... too rigid.

i was very good about socializing with my boys and getting them out and about... my daughter has not one friend... just me.

HAHAHAHA... start saving for the therapy now!

6/29/06, 9:06 AM  
Anonymous MetroDad said...

I think it's hilarious that moms who don't call other moms are now being compared to single men. Too funny. Maybe you can write a mommy relationship book and title it "She's Just Not Into You."

Don't worry about it though. The Peanut would love to be friends with Thalia. We'll have to get them together one of these days!

6/29/06, 9:41 AM  
Blogger Geek Daddy said...

How can she be so unsypathetic to the mommy brain suck? If she has had a child herself, she has to know that at least half of all remaining, active brain cells are sacrificed with each birth, resulting in a horrible short term memory and marginal long term (at least that's what my wife says).

Really, the nerve!

6/29/06, 10:04 AM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

Ah, life. It's slippery like that. My advice? Get a copy of the blacklist. ... Those people on it probably won't mind if you never call.

6/29/06, 10:37 AM  
Blogger Mother Bumper said...

Oh thank god I'm not the only one guilty of this crime. I'm positive I'm on the Toronto blacklist. Somehow time just slips away... and then it's six months later. Your single men comparison made me laugh and nod my head in agreement. For once I'm the one not calling back! I'm just waiting for some mommy to yell at me from across the street "lose my number bee-auch!" like I did to that guy ten years ago. Is this karma running over my dogma?

6/29/06, 10:43 AM  
Blogger sunshine scribe said...

Guity as charged.

Next time give her your blog url instead of your phone number :)

6/29/06, 11:08 AM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

I think any mommy who gets pissy about that stuff has too much time on her hands. It's one thing to issue an invitation - come over on Sunday at 4pm for pizza - and have it be completely ignored, and it's another thing entirely to exchange contact information and never get around to getting in touch.

6/29/06, 11:53 AM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Guilty. Totally guilty.

And worse, I've done (am currently doing) the equivalent of not calling after hooking up: I've stopped attending the mom's group that I was at one point so desperate to hook up with because, um, they just don't do it for me (which is to say, they DON'T LAUGH AT MY JOKES.) They still e-mail me; I make vague excuses. One of these days, I know, I'll be uttering the words 'it's not me, it's you.' Or, worse, they'll catch me sneaking around with Toronto blogger moms after I've told them that I had to stay in with a tired/ill/cranky WonderBaby...

But I'm just not that into them.

6/29/06, 12:07 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I'm guilty of stuff like that myself. Truth is, if she couldn't understand that sometimes new moms get busy and forget things then she probably wasn't worth calling in the first place. I mean, HULLO! She's got a baby too, you'd think she'd understand. You should be wiping your brow and saying, "Whew! Another high maintenance friend avoided."

6/29/06, 12:10 PM  
Blogger macboudica said...

Same here. I've done it. Over and over again.

6/29/06, 12:45 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

Ah, the list. I must be on that same one, MA chapter, for various infractions. I'm thinking of going underground until they've forgotten what I look like, or maybe change my hair color, and then try again.

6/29/06, 12:56 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh, I know all about good intentions. I've done that way too many times as well. Same goes for promising to e-mail someone something I told them about. Mommy brain is powerful and sucks your memory out all at once.

6/29/06, 1:28 PM  
Blogger Romancing Simplicity said...

Wow. Well look at the bright side - at least if you're on the mommy blacklist you won't have to worry about dealing with competimoms.

6/29/06, 1:48 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

NOPE! I'm like that, too. And fiercely unapologetic about it.
Actually, let me step back from that a moment and say this: I will avoid, elude, and sidestep any kind of telephone number exchange for this very reason. I would rather you thought I was a snotty beeyatch than an inconsiderate one. Which I also am, but I now take evasive action to keep out of that minefield.

6/29/06, 2:02 PM  
Anonymous Liz said...

It takes a lot of guts to call up someone that you just met in a Starbucks. I would hope she'd be over it by now though. Perhaps she was leaving it up to you to make the next move?

6/29/06, 2:07 PM  
Blogger Lumpyheadsmom said...

Wait, did you just never call her, or did she call you and did you forget to call her back?

Because if you just didn't call her - psshh, whatever. She could call you too, right? And never did? Sounds like it's her fault to me.

6/29/06, 3:27 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

Ha. That's pretty sad. Not boo-hoo sad. More like humourously-pathetic sad.

I did that once. I was friends with a woman in university, and lost touch with her. Some years later I discovered that she and I both lived in the same town. I called her, chatted, and promised to arrange a time to get together in the next few weeks. But then, my wife became pregnant with twins, and life got busy. The twins are nine now. So I'm a little late giving her a call. Think she'll notice?

6/29/06, 3:40 PM  
Blogger pixie sticks said...

You should probably move!

6/29/06, 5:01 PM  
Anonymous Asha said...

me too, big time.

I've found this to be a handy screening procedure. The ones who get irritated with you don't pass. The ones who say "Pffff! Don't even worry about it. I barely return calls myself. Do you have five minutes for a latte right now?" are the ones to hang onto for dear life. They're the ones who sometimes, on lucky days, turn into the friends you love, don't see for months, then have a great time with when you bump into each other at the store or the zoo.

I've actually said the following: "Can I call you in, like, nine months when my daughter's in preschool? Because I can have coffee then." Lame? Yes? True? Yes.

6/29/06, 5:39 PM  
Blogger Tori said...

You are soooooooooooooooooooo busted!

Don't you remember we spoke too - 14 years ago....
You promised, promised, promised you'd write....AND call...
After eleven years, three months, two days... I stopped waiting for the phone to ring and the mailman to drop by...

BUT.... I am not bitter anymore....

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYATCH............

hee hee...
Truly though...
Don't you worry yourself. Anyone who is a mom - should know that you should get a second chance to befriend each other. She is just making you suffer a bit. If she is worthy, your paths will cross again...

6/29/06, 5:59 PM  
Blogger MrsFortune said...

Haha, are you the ONLY one? Uh, yeah, sure, if they changed the meaning of "only" to "every" recently.

I love you more and more each day. Call me, bitch. Just kidding. I'm busy.

6/29/06, 7:06 PM  
Blogger Mocha said...

Nope. Never did that. Must just be you.

6/29/06, 7:36 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Asha, I think I love you.

6/29/06, 8:27 PM  
Anonymous Jill said...

Uh... I do this all the time! I never seem to have enough time to make new friends - I tell my close freinds that "my friend bank is full" and if I take on a new friend, I need to drop an existing one.

How do you juggle????

6/29/06, 10:11 PM  
Blogger It's okay, Sweetie said...

Ahhh-haaa. I've been wanting to post, but always feel I'll get lost in the fourteen hundred comments. I'm vain you see, and want to be heard! ;) Anyway, this hit the nail on the head. I posted a few days back on being a 'Plan Breaker'. I can relate! And you know what, she's the beyatch if she can't understand. Her loss. And nah-nah, now she's the fodder for this post! Rock on!!!

6/29/06, 10:40 PM  
Anonymous Asha said...

I love you, too, Mom101. When you're next in Portland, the latte's on me.

6/30/06, 12:01 AM  
Blogger K. said...

If she knew how hilarious you were, she would definitely want you for a friend. ;)

My son could have a buddy that is exactly 4 days older than him if I would just pick up the phone and call. Even once. But I don't.

6/30/06, 8:04 AM  
Anonymous Joel said...

Happened to me the other day prior to a business meeting...shaking one of the participants hands I said "good to meet you" to which they replied, "uh, we met a couple of months ago, remember?" Unable to crawl under the table unnoticed I mumbled the standard "oh, right, of course," which in retrospect is far worse than just copping to the crime of total forgetfulness. ugh!

6/30/06, 12:15 PM  
Blogger Dana said...

No, it's not just you. I suffer from bad memory. I can't remember anything unless it's tied to my finger with a string!

6/30/06, 12:21 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

I think I suck every day. It's getting old.

6/30/06, 8:03 PM  
Blogger Stephanie A. said...

You're not alone. I suck at follow through and I suck on the phone. It is amazing that I have any friends at all, really.

6/30/06, 11:55 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Ah, no. You are not alone. Sadly, I am That F*ing Guy too.

7/1/06, 10:01 PM  
Anonymous Izzy said...

I just don't exchange numbers anymore or at least I never suggest it. I mean, why bother? I probably won't call them anyway. Because why? Well, in addition to hating that awkward moment when I have to remind them of who I am and wonder if I sound like some kind of desperate weirdo, I'm also busy with uh, life and stuff (that's code for blogging)

7/2/06, 5:46 PM  

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