Things Pregnant Women Take For Granted That They Can Do, Until They're at the Office Around the Clock and Can't Do Them, Grrr....

Scratch the nipples

Burp loudly and often

Eat Pop Tarts for lunch


Pass gas

Readjust the boobs

Research baby names

Stick your fingers under the underwire in your bra to provide some momentary relief

Dig the wedgie out

Take off the shoes

Cry on a whim


Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

That is so beautiful. Sniff.

I can't say I'm sorry that all that is behind me. :?)

3/2/07, 6:25 PM  
Blogger Lara said...

why can't you do this at the office?

my students do them all the time in the middle of class. that's kind of like my office. if they can do it, so can you.

3/2/07, 6:36 PM  
Blogger Meena said...

Ah, the burping. I got in the bad habit of allowing myself to burp loudly during pg and somehow, I never quite got over it! I often catch myself only after I've done it (usually just in front of family).

3/2/07, 6:58 PM  
Blogger Tracey said...

How true...

3/2/07, 7:17 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Oh, DUDE. You mean I'm NOT supposed to stick my fingers under the underwire, or readjust the boobage, or do anything in public that pertains to chest maintenance?

Woops. And I'm not even pregnant.

3/2/07, 7:18 PM  
Blogger B said...

For me it was scratching. Especially during the "third trimester spread" my skin was so itchy as it was ballooning—I was constantly flipping up my shirt to reveal the big buddah to scratch. Not so office approppriate ;)

3/2/07, 7:34 PM  
Blogger slouching mom said...

I routinely perform many of the behaviors on this list, and I have not been pregnant for five years. I will leave which ones to your imagination, on the theory that they might be incriminating.

3/2/07, 7:35 PM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

Ipex Wireless by Victoria's Secret is my friend.

Mind you, I am not as blessed as you are in the chestal region, but, still, you might want to give it a shot.

3/2/07, 7:45 PM  
Blogger metro mama said...

I wasn't supposed to do all that at the office? Shit.

3/2/07, 8:41 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Jaelithe, if they went higher than a DD I'd be in business.


3/2/07, 8:58 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

What? I LA anti-pop tart? I thought LA was all about the Pop Tart? (rim shot)

3/2/07, 9:22 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

I did almost all of those while employed in an office and pregnant. I also insisted on sitting on the floor during meetings. Then again, I wasn't an executive...

And by the way, Juliet is a lovely name for a baby girl.

3/2/07, 9:29 PM  
Blogger Carla said...

You just described my perfect day!

3/2/07, 9:29 PM  
Blogger kgirl said...

oh yes i do. and i'm not even pregnant.

3/2/07, 10:46 PM  
Blogger Mayberry said...

I could not believe the sounds my body produced during my last pregnancy. Let's just say it was a very good thing for everyone that I was working from home.

3/2/07, 11:00 PM  
Blogger s@bd said...

you gotta find another job. i did all that shit AND MORE at my office. (hmmm ... wonder why i don't work there anymore ...)

3/2/07, 11:21 PM  
Blogger PunditMom said...

I have to be pregnant to do those things?! DAMN! No one told me that! :O

3/2/07, 11:33 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

Oh, I do many of those things, but I have to wait until I'm between appointments so few will see me. I can't even begin to tell you how many times a day I have to readjust the boobs, tuck them back into my bra and push the underwire back in place.

Must go bra shopping.

3/2/07, 11:44 PM  
Anonymous Peter said...

hmm .. maybe ask someone in the office to do these things for you? (excluding burb/gas/cry) ... ah .. well .. probably not :)

Don't men in your office scratch / adjust their scrotum area? Why should you not do your maintanance then ?

3/3/07, 2:20 AM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

Oh, wait -- what? I wasn't supposed to do those things?!

3/3/07, 11:13 AM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

There are two guys who do this at MY office. Of course, it (along with seriously BAD jokes) once prompted me to draw lines with tape around my desk, telling everyone to "stay behind the white lines."

What I wouldn't give for four walls and a door. Windows, schmindows!

3/3/07, 11:37 AM  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

You are a sexy woman, Liz.

Classy too.

Said as I play with my nose ring and dig my undies out of my butt crack...

3/3/07, 12:50 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

We pregnant gals deserve some fun, don't we!

3/3/07, 4:14 PM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

Will you be posting your Baby Name honorees--you know, the ones that you like, but won't be making the cut?

3/3/07, 4:27 PM  
Blogger Shawnee said...

Pregnant women should be able to do this without anybody saying a dang word about it! After all we can get pretty miserable and cranky when are nipples are itching, we have gas, and have a big wedgie!

3/3/07, 5:35 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

Ah, now I'm waxing sentimental over those days when I was big as a house and hormonal as all get-out. Sigh...

3/3/07, 9:30 PM  
Blogger Guinevere Meadow said...

I don't think even the enticement of getting to scratch my nipples would make me want to be pregnant again anytime soon!!! I much prefer things like walking around without sore ankles, not having to pee 15 times a night, and the ability to get out of a chair without assistance! lol!

3/4/07, 1:40 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

Sometimes I burp so loud at home that I wonder if my neighbors can hear me (townhome).

3/4/07, 8:13 PM  
Blogger Becoming Mommy said...

I can't eat PopTarts any time. Darn those OB-imposed dietary restrictions.
Otherwise I do them all...didn't think for a second we weren't supposed to. After all, pregnancy should come with certain allowances made.

3/5/07, 2:53 PM  
Blogger nonlineargirl said...

Hmm, that cry on a whim thing was definitely something I did while pregnant. Then again, I did it before being pregnant, so maybe people didn't notice a change.

3/7/07, 11:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I count the no of times I have to rush to the restroom to pee and to pass gas, man...my whole day goes away...and ofcourse the rest of the time is to read my weekly calendar updates again and again.

3/16/07, 1:23 PM  

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