Vamos-ing a la Playa

I'm about to head to a beautiful, beachy, south-of-the-border vacation with the kids, the nieces, the brother and sister-in-law, coupla grandparents, and not the computer. Hopefully the babysitting with be as plentiful as the margaritas, and the cough we've all had for the last six weeks will disappear along with my pasty white thighs.

(And I don't just mean the pasty part. I would like the entire pair of thighs to disappear, although somehow that seems incongruous with both the notion of free-flowing margaritas and the laws of physics.)

In the meanwhile, I thought I'd entertain you (using that term loosely) with a few totally random thoughts that have been floating around my head this week in between bouts of buying way too many kinds of suntan lotion.

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I have not forgotten about all of your thoughtful questions for the VP of toy safety from the Toy Industry Association. I got back her answers like a day before the blog world went on holiday hiatus and I promise to post it after I get home. Let's just say it's very interesting.

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Yesterday I took Thalia to the most awesome kids hair salon - seriously, go to Doodle-Doos if you're ever in NY. One of the first things they ask you when you come in is which video you'd like them to put on for your kid.

Correct answer: "Diego please."

Or: "Got any WonderPets?"

Or: "Eh, I'll just read to her. Thanks anyway."

But the answer of the mom who came in right after us didn't quite fit the bill. You'd have thought that the stylist asked her what tuburculosis-tainted phlegm-ball streaked with fecal matter and doused in the HIV virus he should feed to her son. W-W-W-WHAT? she sputtered. A VIDEO? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THE AAP RECOMMENDS NO TV FOR CHILDREN UNDER TWO BECAUSE IT REPROGRAMS THEIR LITTLE BRAINS?

To which I just had to jump in and contradict her with a few dubious studies that cast doubt on the recommendations before adding, "Eh, there's a new study every week. You just have to parent by instinct."

Just because I'm a smart ass sometimes. And I felt bad for the stylist. Plus it was fun watching her brain short circuit and start to ooze out her ears.

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I am experiencing utter amazement that in this lifetime, I have lived to see a woman at the top of a Presidential state primary.

It makes me teary. And that should make you all like me more.

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Want a secret tip for rushing a passport without paying the billion (roughly) dollar surcharge that professional expediters charge? My brilliant politico brother told me to contact my member of congress, and that it's a little-known service offered to constituents.

Sure enough, the delightful Diana of Nydia Velazquez's office made a call, and next thing you know, we're at the passport office ushered past the beaurocrats, past the people camped out for five hours, past the four year-old that Thalia wanted so badly to hug, right to the front of the line.

Diana even called the next day to follow up and make sure all was hunk-dory. So...everyone send lots of money to Congresswoman Velazquez's reelection next term.

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As for Thalia, that girl is unflappable. When the shy girl ran behind her mom, terrified of the teeny little 2 year old hugging machine with the outstretched arms, I explained to Thalia that she was just hiding. Thalia reacted by putting her hands over her eyes and counting to ten and yelling "here I come!"

God I love her.

And Sage, I love you too. But you're not as funny just yet.

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Julie is awesome and Julie works her butt off for Cool Mom Picks, and Julie is being showered with $900 worth of seriously swanky gifts for the new baby she will have in her arms this time next month. (Did I just freak you out Julie?) If you or a new mama friend want to win the very same $900 worth of gifts, check the Cool Mom Picks homepage for details and you just might.

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While I'm away the BFF turns forty. Go wish her a happy birthday.

Oh shoot, this means that this year I turn forty too. Time to get a Porsche and start screwing around with the pool boy.