N is for No, You Can't Date Until You're 35

I definitely feel like a bit of the old cranky lady in the corner booth at Denny's lately, the one who leaves a nickel tip and her her teeth in the water glass: I'm tired! Tattoos scare me! Hoodlums have taken over the internets!

I figured my completed transformation from dog collar-wearing teenager to irreverent young adult to fuddy-duddy parental unit deserved some sort of celebration. And so I had an entire post planned about the ultimate in "those darn kids today" p0p culture action, MTV's My Sweet Sixteen. I mean, an entire reality show dedicated to the half-million dollar birthday celebrations of ungrateful little whippersnappers? Comedy gold for a judgmental old fart like me.

Then I turned on Noggin.

It's not that Noggin is a problem, per se. I mean The Backyardigans? I got no beef with them. But apparently at 6pm, Noggin becomes the Fresh Prince of Bel Air Reruns for Tweens Channel, more formally known as The N. Their slogan is Real. Life. Now. Because hey, what's more "real life" than The Fresh Prince of Bel Air?

Last night The N ran a commercial for a game on their website called The Hook-Up. (Hookup, according to Wikipedia, denotes casual sexual activity outside the context of a romantic relationship.) The ad featured a well-coiffed but bookish teen (you can tell the nerdy girls by the glasses, you know) explaining that her time in the library will give her a chance to come up with a rumor to start about Amy "because I need to get my flirt on with Justin and she needs to back off."

Then the announcer copy goes on to say: "The Hook-Up. A game of charm and treachery and deceit. Where you do whatever it takes to hook up with your dream guy. So go ahead. Be as flirtatious and manipulative and outrageous as you want to be. No one has to know."

And that's when I decided that my daughter would be homeschooled and raised gay to the very best of our ability.

Of course I logged on (how could I resist?) and discovered the game is some kind of lo-tech Sims-meets-Mean Girls kind of thing. From the instructions:
How do you like being the new girl? You just got dropped into a town full of intrigue and romance and you'll need to play your cards right if you just want to survive, much less whip your rivals into shape and land yourself a man.
See, what I learned here is that "landing yourself a man" (not a boy, mind you) is now the key to peer approval these days. Forget landing a spot on the field hockey team, or landing student council Vice President--those must be goals leftover from the good old days when we wore bobby socks and drove Edsels to school. And the way you land a man in this game is simple--humiliate (their word) the other girls in order to render them less threatening; and talk to every boy you enounter, making sure to check your "journal" where you accrue knowledge about them. (He likes me! He makes his own hip-hop music!)

Am I just not in on the joke? I mean, maybe this is like Grand Theft Auto for the pre-menstrual set, a big satire on the state of teen books and movies and programming (EliminiDATE, anyone?) today. But if so, are the young women out there savvy enough to get it? And if not, are we as moms powerful enough to overcome the message?

I gotta say, I have a daughter. And I'm a little nervous here.


Blogger Table4Five said...

Holy crap does this make me nervous too. I can't even bear to think about what it will be like for Kaitlyn when she's twelve or thirteen and figuring out social norms and boys and all that. Perhaps I could enroll her in your homeschool for girls who will live like nuns till they're 30?


5/7/06, 11:15 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Thank God my teenagers are boys. Unfortunately, they DO watch that sweet sixteen show and then they ask me what kind of party I am going to throw for their sweet sixteen. When I explain that real people do not have sweet sixteen parties (just like real people do not celebrate golden birthdays with gold), they look disappointed and imply that I am not a proper parent.

5/7/06, 11:41 PM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

Yikes. I'm not ready for this. I had to destress from the park with the help of many, many margaritas after a preschooler got mad at miss A for playing an annoying game of pretend. What am I going to have to self medicate with when your prophecy comes to pass? Is heroin really that bad?

5/8/06, 12:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband and I joke that we're not letting our girls date until they are 26. (Well, if we can help it). This truly frightens me. It's like those damn Bratz "secret date" commercials where the little girl that looks 12 puts on makeup, a cropped shirt, and fuck me boots for a blind date. Maddening!! Guess I am an old fuddy-duddy too, if being accepting of *that* behavior is the alternative.

5/8/06, 12:18 AM  
Blogger Cristina said...

That is totally insane. I can't believe the crap that's on TV these days.

What time is it on again?

5/8/06, 12:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a pre-teen daughter and the best defense is a keen offense. I've watched some of these 'inappropriate' shows with her -- and with some perspective she sees the absurdity. I call it "inappropriate tv time." We cuddle up, we laugh our tushes off, sometimes we both get a little embarrassed, which is when I say, "That's enough of that, missy," and change the channel.

5/8/06, 12:55 AM  
Blogger ms blue said...

It has become a scary world for parents of teenage girls.

To top it off, when my girls are facing their raging hormones, I'll likely be suffering from hot flashes. My husband is already planning on moving into our garage.

5/8/06, 1:02 AM  
Blogger Movin Mom said...

Okay sister girlfriend...I thought we were only a year apart what's up with the Edsel thing? and second my man is a GM man yuk to Ford!

I also have a daughter living amongst 3 boys and a man.
My heart weeps for her when she has to share the bathroom with the brothers who find it difficult to aim in the direction of the oval opening in front of them. the bathtub with the brown ring around it ! the sink with blue and green spit all over it. toothpaste gone wild! even the towels, boxers and stinky socks on the ground! HOWEVER these brothers are her pit bulls, they watch her as if she were a fragile antique vase on the mantel.
we also watch my sweet sixteen and I also had a quincineara when I was 15 . But nothing like that of a spoiled MTV girl!
My 15th coming out party was a traditional hispanic fiesta. Family and close friends sponsored it and I did not get a convertible mercedes, rolex watch, or scream at my dad when things didn't go my way BUT man is that a train wreck show or what ...I cannot help but watch it every time it's on.

5/8/06, 1:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, I clicked on that link (hey - you did it!) and was mortified.

Like Kvetch, I let my daughters watch some of the stuff (Bratz videos, etc.) and then provide heavy commentary. I found there was no human way possible to avoid all the crap, so the best I could do is to attempt devious means of brainwashing.

It seems to be working. The other day my ten year old called Britney Spears a 'moron' and wondered why she had gotten married so early.

5/8/06, 2:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

home schooling ? pah! I'm all for finding that island from jurassic park and moving there until my daughter is 30. Theres room on the boat. (and no she soes not have to know what I got up to in my youth!)

MTV's not so sweet 16 shows here, I fell into 1 episode, and wanted to shake the parents... designer clothes on baby girls is so not a good look for goodness sake.

5/8/06, 4:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I'm going to be raising my daughter in the bomb shelter starting at age 2.

Want me to save you a spot?


5/8/06, 6:09 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Seriously. Wait until she says
"Am I sexy?"

and you grip your heart and fall over panting
"Where the hell did you hear that?"

and she says

and you think, "We are SOOOO becoming Amish"

5/8/06, 6:53 AM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

I had no brothers. Aside from my dad, my world growing up was populated with women. I cried when I found out I was having a boy. Both times. (Yeah, shoot me, I suck, I should be happy that my baby was healthy and how dare I complain about it's sex...blah, blah, blah).

I have since realized that though I still long for the daughter I'll never have, I am very lucky to be raising boys. Not that there aren't concerns. But raising girls today is just so frickin scary.

My kids don't watch most of that crap, by choice. They just think its monumentally stupid. They do like "Drake and Josh", which isn't SO bad, and usually manages to squeeze a lesson in there somewhere, and the youngest likes "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody" which irritates me, but again, there's usually a lesson in there somewhere.

I've loosened up a bit with tv and movies, because I've found that the forbidden fruit syndrome is a powerful motivator, and because they will learn all the dirty words somewhere. The other day I had to explain that "dickhead" is not an appropriate name to call someone, and no, it's not the same as "dork".

The internet, on the other hand, scares the crap out of me. We have their computer locked down pretty tight. Parental controls up the wazzoo, and no chat rooms, no IM, no email. Ever.

I'm so mean... something I expect to be reminded of quite a bit in the coming years.

It's damn scary raising kids, no matter what gender you have.

5/8/06, 7:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just when I think the country is going to pot, I come across some really lovely real-life teenagers who make me breathe a bit easier. Somehow I am surrounded by wonderful, hard working, well-mannered teens. From the girls I coach, to the boys and girls who babysit for me, to the extremely conscientous kid who mows my lawn, these kids all make me smile.

I'm glad I'm not the only one with the silly habit of watching some of this crap, but hats off to people like Kvetch who can make it a learning experience.

I'm just glad I have so many good kids around me that prove that good parenting can overcome quite a bit of society's crap.

5/8/06, 7:27 AM  
Blogger The Domesticator said...

With shows like this, no wonder our kids are growing up too fast.

5/8/06, 8:03 AM  
Blogger mamatulip said...

It took me a while to figure out that at 6p.m. Julia was entering the N zone. She'd come upstairs and say something about Carlton and Ashley and I'd be like, "Huh?"

Then I found out that the N zone plays tons and tons of Degrassi: The Next Generation and well, I became hooked. God, I love me some Degrassi.

5/8/06, 8:47 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Mega Mom: Totally agree. My mother, who is an educational consultant, works with some high school kids and just loves them. They aren't all bad at all. But the good ones just don't make good tv.

Movin Mom: A quincineara sounds like a lovely cultural tradition. Maybe we'll do that instead. I'm always up for a fiesta!

BA and Kvetch: Love how you handle this and it seems to show in your kids. I doubt we'll end up as strict parents. We can only hope that we give her the tools to reject the crap - or at least the lifestyles that the crap promotes. I don't care if she plays Grand Theft Auto, as long as she doesn't think stealing ccars is okay.

5/8/06, 9:16 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I love Kvetch's approach. I hope to be as cool when my son is older.

In many ways it is easier to raise a boy. The stuff that kids are faced with now is infinitely more complicated than when we were teens. It scares me.

I am guilty of being a bit freaked out by teens. And then I remember how I felt as a teen going through my rebeillious phase with the looks from "grown-ups" that didn't get that even though I was a wild teen I could also be a straight A student, dedicated voluneer and nice kid.

5/8/06, 9:42 AM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

How about an arranged marriage, if the attempt to raise her as a lesbian fails? I'm not allowing my son to date until he's 35, either, you see. He helps me with the laundry and dishes, and he's already learning to read, so we know he's smart, and he has AWESOME red hair. I'd be cool with him converting to Judaism. And I know that Thalia has the witty gene, so I'm envisioning some awesome grandbaby potential.

Just drop me a line in 12 years if it turns out she's checking out boys, and we can track down a yenta and talk chaperoned walks through the park, 'k? ;)

5/8/06, 9:42 AM  
Blogger kim said...

What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today."
I hear ev'ry mother say.
(Mother's Little Helper)

Damn, it's true though. I threw up a little in my mouth after visiting the hook-up link. It's so time to vanquish the "Vapid girl" culture.

5/8/06, 10:00 AM  
Blogger Sharon L. Holland said...

I like the "watching with commentary" idea. You can't prevent kids from being exposed to this stuff, but you can lessen its impact.

The change in media options also means we no longer have to watch just the garbage that's on tv. We don't have a tv at all, and we rarely miss it. With all the DVD and internet options for entertainment, it's possible to be much more deliberate about what we watch for amusement. MTV's self-indulgent crap doesn't make it in the door. That doesn't mean they'll never see it, but it is less likely to become a staple of their lives, and shape them accordingly.

5/8/06, 10:22 AM  
Blogger macboudica said...

It is scary, I mean terrifying, raising teen girls these days. You have myspace, which is a haven of sexual predators, the clothes they wear, crop tops and micro-minis, and shows like sweet sixteen and elimidate (my daughter loves that one) and you wonder why you ever let them out of the house. I do the best I can to explain how these shows are demeaning and devoid of values and to encourage safe use of the internet, but with a thirteen year old, I can't be watching over her shoulder 24/7...she goes to other girl's houses or wherever, they become more and more independent. Hopefully, we give them the tools to make good choices. But it is scary to think of just how powerful social pressure can be in their decision making process. My fear is that letting them out of the house is like driving...you may be a good driver, but you still have to watch out for what all those other idiots are doing. The same with kids...you may have taught them well, but what about all the other idiot kids out there (obviously not all kids are idiots, but it only takes one rotten apple...). I know first-hand these girls are mean to each other, and avoiding their attacks can be a very powerful motivation for girls.

5/8/06, 10:38 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

God, I hope it's a joke. But even if it is, there is reason for worry. That age group is too impressionable to see the difference. As the days go by, parenting is getting harder.

5/8/06, 10:47 AM  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Whoa. No more noggin for you! Tween TV is hella scary- I know from experience. Now I long for the days when my girls were into Lizzie Maguire, though. They've moved onto MTV and there is so much more discussion necessary about how those girls are ho's and real teenagers don't act that way. Or they shouldn't.

By the way, my old screwy laptop freezes up and dies when I try to comment in a pop up window with more than about 25 comments. I tried to comment yesterday and that's what happened. I'll just have to try to get here earlier than everyone else!

5/8/06, 10:48 AM  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I had cause to post this comment elsewhere, a wee while ago, but it seems apropos here too:

My daughters are 4 but one has been flirting with men since she was first able to focus across the room. Dave suggested bars on the windows as soon as she hits puberty. Then he scoffed his own idea into a corner.

"Mere bars of iron will not stop teenage lust", he told me, "Either her's or her suiter's. I say we commit her for the duration of her teenage years and 'til the insanity passes."

I countered, "Or we could go the whole 'reasonable and open discussions' route - the 'we know you're smart and informed and we trust you to make good choices' path." We looked at each other for a moment - parents trying to do the right thing. We looked at our daughter flirting with the waiter.

"Iron bars it is then", said Dave

"Reinforced steel", said I, biting my nails.

5/8/06, 10:57 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Yeah, I'm a little freaked out too. I've got a girl and a boy, and I'm definitely more nervous about The Girl. Growing up with four older sisters, I know there is much drama in the lives of girls. Even more now, as the times change. My parents had MTV taken off of our TV when I was younger, and now I know why. And MTV wasn't anywhere near as bad then as it is now. Thinking of raising kids, sending them to public school, having them spend time with kids I've never met, it freaks me out. Especially since The Girl already seems to have the "follower" gene (she got it from her father). I just hope that The Hubster and I can give her the confidence and the values to be herself and not what everyone else says she should be. Yikes. Can we just hide in the fort we made in the living room for the next thirty or so years?

5/8/06, 10:57 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

HOLY CRAP!!!! I just went and looked at The Hook-up. I got about two seconds into it, and turned it off. That is disgusting. I can't believe they market that to teenagers, or pre-teens, or whoever. I can't believe the things they had them saying to each other. Is there someone I can email about this? Totally ridiculous.

5/8/06, 11:03 AM  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

I am seriously glad that I live out in the sticks and haven't got a satellite dish. Perhaps I need to ponder the whole home schooling thing too....

5/8/06, 11:25 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Beth (and anyone else) It's a Viacom network. Contact them if you're so inclined.

5/8/06, 11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

amen to that. I saw that "hook up" thing a few weeks ago and it freaked me out quite a bit.

5/8/06, 11:43 AM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

I'm sorry, but that is just ridiculous (not feeling especially witty today). And in what part of this "game" does the "winner" find out she's the "loser" with genital warts and crabs? I see these "winner" girls twice a week, standing outside the hallway of my classroom, telling me in a whisper (with tears in their carefully made-up eyes) that they might be pregnant. Or they just found out they have HPV andChlamydia. And their boyfriend is no longer speaking to them. I've got your winner right here, folks.

5/8/06, 11:47 AM  
Blogger Gurukarm Kaur said...

I'm thinking, parental controls on The N. Too bad too, we're pretty big Degrassi fans too. But this is TOO scary. Who??? who??? could think this is a good thing to offer to kids? You've gotta think it's a bunch of skanky middle-aged guys trying to live out fantasies. Or something. And I notice it's all targeted to the girls. No boys need apply. Ugh... Nickelodeon and its adjuncts used to be a really nice kid-friendly station...

But I loved this -almost throwaway- line, Mom101: "raised gay to the very best of our ability." heehee - good luck with that one!

5/8/06, 11:57 AM  
Blogger Nichole said...

My daughter is only 8 months old and I'm already considering home schooling or an all girls school!

I can't believe how young these girls are, wearing the clothes they're wearing. And I find it even harder to swallow to see a 10-year-old girl walking out of Abercrombie, holding her mother's hand in one hand, and a shopping bag with a naked man printed on it in the other. Who are these mothers? What are they THINKING????!!!

5/8/06, 11:59 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

This reminds me of the article I read about teen pregnancies and how they're at an all-time low. I found this odd given your above observations. But horray sex education. Horray abstinence programs. Wait - the article went on to say that "no, your children are not having less sex, but the sperm count level in men is at an all-time low." Time to start saving for the all-girls school. Or the chastity belt.

5/8/06, 12:09 PM  
Blogger josetteplank.com said...

I'm starting a nunnery and bringing back the wimple - none of this "nuns in street clothes" foolishness. Of course, my nunnery will be open to all denominations and will have k.d.lang and Indigo Girls piped through the building round-the-clock.

I'll let you know in a bit where to send your application.

5/8/06, 12:09 PM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

Not that anybody asked but teen pregnancies in the U.S. are at an all-time low, down from their all-time high in 1991. We still have one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the developed world, though (5 times that of our mortal enemies in France, 13+ times that of the Netherlands, I think), so we've got that going for us. Rock on, Red, White and Blue!!!!

5/8/06, 12:13 PM  
Blogger Julie Marsh said...

Barf. I like Kvetch's and Sweatpantsmom's approaches. No sense hiding from it - let's discuss it and give our girls the confidence they need to come to their own conclusions about such mindless crap.

And Teacher Lady, I tip my hat to you. I'm glad there are people like you for girls to talk to, but it makes me sad that they can't talk to their mothers.

5/8/06, 12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've seen those adds, and played that game, also. I was amazed at how purely stupid it was. I hope that by the time my kids get to the age where the media is of greater influence I have instilled enough confidence and maturity in them that they won't be swayed by such ridiculousness.

I guess for most of us, only time will tell.

5/8/06, 12:22 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I'm telling you now that if my son comes home in his teen years with a Bratz doll on his arm who learned her "tricks" off that Hook-Up game (looky at me sounding old) I'll have a permanent marker ready to write SKANK on her forehead. Then I'll send her packing. In the meantime, I'm going to use tricks I've learned here to teach him the absurdity of such pop culture trash so he can recognize it before one of these unfortunate girls "lands" him. Do you think the 11 years I have before he becomes a teenager is long enough? I certainly hope so.

5/8/06, 12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always wonder about all of this media crap we are seeing today, I agree it is disgusting. But is this just really what sells, or can kids relate to this. I just do not believe that is that different from when I was in middle and high school. Which although it feels like ages ago, really was not that long ago. I mean if Harry Potter can be popular and Beverly Cleary just agreed to do a movie version of Ramona, how different are kids. My SIL did a thesis on middle school girl culture and although she found them to ne mean and manipulative, not so much in a different way than they used to be. I think this is just media making a quick buck.

5/8/06, 12:54 PM  
Blogger Jess Riley said...

I clicked on the link and, now I'm sure this is just a coincidence, but the "loading" screen looks just like a pack of Ortho-tricyclen pills.

5/8/06, 12:56 PM  
Blogger J said...

That's freaky weird...and also one reason why Maya won't have a computer in her room until she goes to college. Sorry.

5/8/06, 1:18 PM  
Blogger Romancing Simplicity said...

Wow, times have changed, I guess. Or maybe I was just never in the loop to begin with. My family didn't have television when I was growing up, so I was always a little on the un-hip side of things. On the up side, when I was a tween, I was thinking about student body and sports and art class. None of that landing a man business.

Good luck...!

5/8/06, 1:24 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

I'm with Kvetch and Sweatpants Mom.
That is the approach I have taken with my older girl, and much to my delight she is full of contempt for Britney Spears, Ashlee Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Whatsernames 1, 2, 3 et cetera...
And of course it's rubbing off on my 7-year-old, as well.
Both my girls are of the firm belief that if a boy doesn't like them because they're smart and funny then he's a superficial dork.
(Of course, it helps that they're beauties, but I would say that, wouldn't I?)

5/8/06, 1:36 PM  
Blogger Carolyn S. said...

Once I wean myself off my addiction to blogging I am totally throwing the computer out of the house. Along with the television, telephone, and radios. Oh shit wait....that means no more Lost, Mom-101, or Razor phone. Ok nevermind, we'll go the leash route instead.

5/8/06, 1:53 PM  
Blogger tracey clark said...

Run away! Run away!

5/8/06, 1:56 PM  
Blogger Kari said...

Kvetch and Sweatpantsmom: I applaud your approach.

As a mom to a toddler boy, all I can think about is how I am going to teach him to respect women for their personalities and not all the other, uhm, traits that these types of shows promote.

If I ever have a girl, hopefully by the time she's a teenager we'll be seeing a backlash to this type of programming.

5/8/06, 2:08 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Ooo, that's a little scary. I have a girl too and I so don't want to have to deal with shit like this. When, when are we going to learn?

5/8/06, 2:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yup, it is scary to me too. Why do you think I am having my 4 year old sign something saying she won't date til she's 25. I think that's a safe age. But I think I may need to work on the gay thing. ;)

The thing you have to try to remember is that we all somehow made it out of childhood and into successful adults. Our girls will too.

5/8/06, 2:25 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...


I still haven't wrapped my head around Bratz and Pussycat Dolls DOLLS (agh) and now you tell me this?!?

I'm thinking that a nice little TV-free/mall-free/pop-culture-free commune is sounding sorta good right about now...

5/8/06, 2:34 PM  
Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

This is what happens when kids no longer date eachother. NO SOCIAL SKILLS. I run a chattroom with kids who cannot interract with other kids in the flesh. We instead have virtual proms, virtual dates, virtual everything. Teenagers, at the end of the day are pretty much consumed with romance. We used to play Sweet Valley High and play with dolls. Now its this SIMS Weird Dating shit. Oy.

5/8/06, 3:00 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Holy Cow! I'm nervous FOR you!

Yeah, I'm suddenly seriously thinking about homeschooling...

5/8/06, 3:05 PM  
Blogger Erin M said...

God don't tell me you gain power by using tampons opr something of that nature. This game sounds horrific, now I remember why we don't have cable TV

5/8/06, 3:42 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

OK...I am not sure I was able to fully comprehend the entirety of your post, because of the loud whooshing as all the blood in my body raced to my skull...

Off to buy two chastity belts...thanks...

AND if I weren't stressed enough your word verification is trying to flipping KILL me! 3rd try now, let's see if ccxbdvqn is the lucky word.

5/8/06, 3:43 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

See, once Moose A Moose sings goodbye and the crickets start chirping, we wave goodbye to Noggin and turn. it. off.

I don't even want to think about the link you posted. Too much for me. I swear, the first day Cordy asks me if I think the boys will find her cute in a particular outfit or complains about needing to diet, the TV is being thrown out the window.

Truthfully, I will probably work hard to keep an open dialogue with her about such topics, and try to raise her to not be a shallow, vapid princess. And I don't think Catholic school would work - my half-sister went there, and she's about as shallow as they come.

5/8/06, 3:43 PM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Damn, I had a post about Sweet 16 in the hopper, almost ready to go. But I couldn't do that train wreck justice so its just as well I let it die.

Scary that there are children watching these shows and checking out these websites but scarier is the fact that there are adults who should know better behind this programming.

5/8/06, 4:04 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

makes me want to throw myself in front of a bus...

congratulations on the home schooling/gay plan... i too am hoping for at least one gay kid, one priest (no, not the same one) and maybe a real backward, anti-social kid... with a lot of allergies...

my sweet 16 scares the hell out of me. if i hear one more dingbat say, "this party cost three hundred thousand dollars but i'm daddy's little princess & i am worth it"... well, i don;t know what i'll do (obviously NOT stop watching)

5/8/06, 5:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I'm getting my tubes tied right now.

5/8/06, 8:07 PM  
Blogger susan said...

Someone told us this weekend that the good thing about having a boy is that you only have to worry about 1 penis (clearly not the most enlightened of folk, but I suppose the underlying meaning remains the same!). Still not sure I'm gonna ever be ready to let our little guy out of the house, though. Gaaahhhh, guess this is where the grey hairs come from!!!

5/8/06, 9:14 PM  
Blogger Tori said...

You are worried! Me too...
I have four bloody daughters and I simply have no idea what to do...
Already they are kept very very busy with team sports. I know one is only five... but it's never too early....
Sports and Church or youth group Moms of daughters... it's all we've got...
(because I would die if anyone of my children behaved like me!!!!!!!)

5/8/06, 9:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! Kindergarten orientation today; now reading this post!!!! I need to batton down the hatches and raise my girls like that movie "Blast from the Past".

I'll be at Denny's in the other corner booth.

5/8/06, 11:36 PM  
Blogger Perstephone said...

And I get a lot of crap from people about not wanting to let my son watch too much tv?!?!?! All he needs in life is to know that these women are just fighting each other off to land him. Yeah, that's the way to raise our men. We have to set their expectations right from the start.

5/9/06, 9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh God...how stupid. And sad.

In the interest of efficiency, they should combine the video game with the talking Barbie that says "Math is hard" and doom all girls to the role of dumb, man-landing, cat-fighting twits in one fell swoop.

*BIG sigh*

5/9/06, 12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am going to barf now. Excuse me.

5/9/06, 1:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously, my jaw is on the floor. Just another example of how bizarrely one-dimensional our culture is getting to be for girls -- and for boys, too, if they think that's how girls are or are supposed to be.

So what do we do, y'know? That's what I haven't figured out yet: what to do about it. Besides raising a common-sensed and empathetic boy, that is.

p.s. must agree with commenter above about sheer deliciousness of "best of our ability" line. Awesome.

5/10/06, 1:39 PM  
Blogger Rook Walker said...

Okay, just so everyone knows, "hooking up" doesn't necessarily mean having sex. Or even sexual activity of any kind. Or, depending on the context, even physical contact.

It depends entirely on the region, the group of friends, and the individual, but to "hook up" can mean anything from talking to someone of the preferred sex with the sense that there is a mutual attraction, to full sex. I get the feeling that The-N is not referring to the latter. Most likely, by "hooking up", they mean dating, or becoming boyfriend/girlfriend (or girlfriend/girlfriend, or boyfriend/boyfriend).

4/3/07, 12:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, moms of the universe. I'm a 14 year old girl that goes to a...very public high school that it filled with this kind of stuff. I hate to tell you that not only is high school just like this game, its worse. Hook up is an every weekend thing and girls dont care if the guy is their bestfriends boy friend. I agree that teenagers these days are a lot worse than they used to be but this is how it is. Us girls can't change it because a lot of us have tried and sadly enough most girls at this age dont have much of a back bone, though mothers may disagree. Sure, we will stand up against our mom but never against those other girls peer pressure...though my opinion is biased, i think you should cut your daughters some slack. if you raised them right then when their about to do something wrong their going to get this really horrible feeling in the gut of their stomach that will make them not do it. really i experienced this already and its the only reason im still a virgin. Hard to believe right? im only 14, thats way to young but damn, its high school. And personally, i like this game. i think its entertaining because i know that i would never be able to do this stuff in real like so its fun to do it on the internet. its what the games for anyway.

12/15/07, 8:11 PM  
Blogger Kim Moldofsky said...

Best line I've read all day.
"And that's when I decided that my daughter would be homeschooled and raised gay to the very best of our ability."

5/13/09, 11:12 PM  

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