That rosy glow? Just humiliation.
What my facialist said yesterday:
"This is an anti-wrinkle serum for mature skin that I’m applying now. It’s a natural fruit acid, entirely organic, made with naseberry, raspberry extract, crushed ivy, calendula, and vitamin E. Naseberry is a natural anti-oxidant since it’s packed with vitamin C, which is in your body anyway. So it essentially works with your body’s own stores to help combat free radicals and counter the aging process."
What I heard:
"This is an anti-wrinkle serum for mature skin blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah you old biddy."
"This is an anti-wrinkle serum for mature skin that I’m applying now. It’s a natural fruit acid, entirely organic, made with naseberry, raspberry extract, crushed ivy, calendula, and vitamin E. Naseberry is a natural anti-oxidant since it’s packed with vitamin C, which is in your body anyway. So it essentially works with your body’s own stores to help combat free radicals and counter the aging process."
What I heard:
"This is an anti-wrinkle serum for mature skin blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah you old biddy."
posted by Mom101 at 8:58 AM
12 Comments:
You are so funny! It is too much to remember with all of those ingredients! The Vitamin C part would have been enough for me to hear, because I know that works!
lol That is all I would have heard too!!!
chelle
Yep. I would have heard that first part and for the rest, my brain would have been on replay.
I'm fucking old, I'm fucking old....
None of that stuff is worth anything anyway! She could have said "It's natural rose hips blended with prune juice that will help your skin anti-oxifydent exfoliate hydroxy chips." I mean, what the hell does anyone know, really?
That bitch. I hope she's aware of your posse of mom bloggers poised to kick her esthetician ass.
I'm here to tell you: it's all downhill from here. Everything goes south after 30-the knees, the facial hair, the skin! However, your daughter's favorite story will always be, 'My Mother is the Most Beautiful Mother in the World.'
She's lucky you didn't reach up a parafin wrapped hand at the word "Mature skin" to clench her by the throat.
Mature skin my ass. Mature skin your $20 tip, sweet cheeks. If I didn't have mature skin and the bank account to go with it - you'd be out of a job.
I love when they zap my face with that faux science fiction looking thing. I want to leap up and say "Admit it - that does Nothing!!!"
Ditto Dawn - that woman just kissed her tip goodbye.
I once had a doctor (whom I hadn't met before) enter the examination room, look at me, and ask "So you're 40?" Hello! And then she had the nerve to use a speculum. Bitch.
I just envy your getting a facial.
Call me old all you want, just keep rubbing my face to a fine sheen!
Actually, typing that made me realize being called old really would piss me off.
That bitch!
Truth be told ladies, my aesthetician is mahvelous. It's just that the product description stung a little. Or maybe that was the Rosemary, St John's Wart and Paprika rejuvenating exfoliator.
Ouch.
I had my own moment today when I was plucking my eyebrows in the sunny window with a magnifying mirror that is normally in my daughter's room. I don't usually go near those things and now I know why. I had no business seeing my face so closely with all of its freckles, sun damage, blotches, wrinkles, dry patches, and very overgrown eyebrows. Those are things that only a facialist should see.
Oh, and BTW, the St. Johns Wort that you mentioned in your comment is to stem the depression that you feel after hearing your skin is mature and in need of anti-wrinkle serum.
There is such a thing as a facialist?
They need to rebrand themselves. It sounds way too much like a political insult to be someone's profession.
I quite like the idea of a footalist, though. Or a bumalist (that would be assalist to the yanks). Hmmm, I'm onto something.
Post a Comment
<< Home